Let’s discuss the difference between a slow moving relationship and one where he’s just not that into you ?

jjlew922 · 2020-08-02T00:30:49+00:00

In my experience, men know fairly quickly if they want to pursue a relationship with you and the topic of exclusivity will come up within the first 5 dates or so. It also depends on his situation and if he’s “ready” for how much he can emotionally invest in you (men in transition out of ltr or in career should be auto yellow flag). Unfortunately, in my case, an agreement of exclusivity has been merely a situationship or a casually committed relt in which the guy has commitment issues, most likely Avoidant Attachment, and ultimately emotionally stunted.

taylor232424 · 2020-08-01T23:08:36+00:00

[deleted]

-positivity- · 2020-08-02T10:27:05+00:00

Slow moving relationship — he’s carrying the relationship all by himself, asks you out consistently on special nights (Friday night and Saturday night), makes sure you’re always in touch and that you know he’s interested. He should ask you to be his girlfriend within 2 months. Most importantly! He has that look in his eyes — the way a man looks at you when he’s in love with you— and seems nervous around you.

Not into you — he can stand not seeing you for more than a week, drops off communication, he’s unfazed, he asks you out at inappropriate times, 50/50

peanutbuttatwix · 2020-08-01T23:44:38+00:00

Maybe I'm being generous here, but if it moves more slowly than six months, then I would feel that the man is not interested. It probably also depends on the context. Is there any specific reason that is not in his control that the relationship is not moving more quickly? Such as the illness/loss of an immediate family member?

I'm new to FDS. My feelings are that some guys (LVM & NVM?) will move slow to see how you react (e.g. to see whether you have better things to do than wait on him to offer commitment, and just breadcrumb in general). I haven't always practiced these new principles that I have learned from FDS in the past, but ideally I would like to wait no longer than three months and then I'd end it without explanation. I guess it would also depend on the frequency of dates had. But I think generally 3 months is going to be my general time frame. Does anyone feel differently than me?

** I am still trying to get used to the concept of evaluating different men simultaneously advocated by FDS

thebrooklynt · 2020-08-02T02:22:44+00:00

I’ve been seeing this guy for a little over a month now, and there hasn’t been any obvious “red flags” except for the inevitable..hmmmm where is this going thought- Usually for me, the process of getting to know a guy during the first couple of weeks is awkward and cringe. BUT, with this guy it hasn’t felt like that at ALL. I know it doesn’t feel weird to me, because I needed this time to actually get to know him, and vet him. Every-time we see each other I feel like he opens up to me a little more. So, in my opinion, slow and steady wins the race.

(However, I’m drawing the line at two months because he should know by then!)

dalenoriah · 2020-08-03T05:25:54+00:00

I would say a healthy, slow-paced relationship is marked by MEASURABLE, CONSISTENT progress towards deeper commitment and connection.

One where he's just not that into you will feel like you're doing more work, and efforts to deepen the commitment/connection 1) feel like pulling teeth, 2) happen inconsistently and unpredictably, and/or 3) your desires and needs aren't being met with enthusiasm....ever.

A woman who expresses a desire to strive towards commitment will be met with enthusiasm and devotion by an HVM who has the same goals in mind. He will make it known. Period.

Title	Let’s discuss the difference between a slow moving relationship and one where he’s just not that into you ?
Author	taylor232424
Upvotes	54
Comments	9
Date	August 1, 2020 9:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i1zrvn/lets_discuss_the_difference_between_a_slow_moving/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lets-discuss-the-difference-between-a-slow-moving.720540 https://theredarchive.com/post/720540

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