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[–]MerleErEnPerleFDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When I'm not in a relationship I don't need a man to compliment my looks.
When I'm in a relationship I feel like something's wrong if he doesn't compliment me.
I took it as a sign of weakness: I was just a craving girl. But then I realized how messed up it is that you have to come up with a strong case and a good argument every time you want to receive a compliment from someone that's supposed to be a positive factor in your life.
[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
when you don't get compliments in a relationship there's something wrong with him, not with you!
[–]burpleseaurchinFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's been proven in studies that less attractive men are prone to using "negative" mate guarding tactics aka negging and trying to take down your self esteem. Attractive men are more likely to use positive tactics such as gift giving.
[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That explains a lot. Do you have any links to those studies? I would love to read them
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie49 points50 points51 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've found that attractive men are much more pleasant and are much more themselves. They feel like they are worthy of your looks.
Enjoy. :)
[–]willowgrowingrootsFDS Disciple12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m confused because I dated a NVM who did both.Many compliments about my looks followed by negging the next week, etc. I guess it was a technique to make me relay on his approval? 🤔
[–]SunflowerinVirgo0903FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mine did the same
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]willowgrowingrootsFDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think your second paragraph is exactly what OP meant. Women feel obligated to give men a chance even if they don’t find them attractive, something most men would never do. But dating your ‘match’ is obviously personal—I have dated men I thought were super hot even though it was not in society’s standards or my friends’ personal taste.
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you tell me where to buy this apple pie fragrance? Haha
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wonder if shes talking about the candy apple from bath and body works I also have a bottle <3
[–]dalenoriahFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A LVM doesn't want to draw attention to how attractive you are because maybe you'll realize how out-of-his-league you are and then he won't have access to you anymore. Even if you truly love him, he knows he doesn't deserve you and will do everything to keep your self-esteem low enough to stay with him.
An HVM is secure enough in himself to compliment you; he is confident enough to know you are a grown woman who has CHOSEN to be with him and honor your choice. He is a man that knows he wants a beautiful woman and also to be mature enough to recognize that building you up and validating you is not only how to keep you, but also just for your own benefit! He'll want to see the smile on your face and make you feel good for it's own sake.
[–]Hi_PandaFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
women should be free to be attracted to anyone who they think is attractive but this post plus all the cringy incel terms sounds shallow imo as an attractive man does not always equal HVM. also, all you ever mentioned about your current boyfriend is that he compliments your appearance a lot and it's not really that impressive.
[–]plembbFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don’t think she’s saying that because he’s attractive it makes him high value. She’s hitting on a specific topic and making a point that it’s important to find someone who thinks you’re irresistible and makes a point to tell you so. It’s also important to be with a partner you yourself find physically attractive.
[–]Orphanedpinkpetals3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree
[–]Orphanedpinkpetals1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nuance is important here
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Wow. This is insanely bitter.
[–]Hi_PandaFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
nah. TLDR is only allow looksmatch to pursue you? it is shallow and good luck with that especially with people having varied taste in looks. what's attractive to me is what's not attractive to you.
and perhaps it's bc I've never personally had this problem bc I never romantically entertain men that I don't find physically attractive at all regardless of their other redeeming qualities.
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Girl do you. Anyone can pursue you but there’s clearly a pattern with men who feel “beneath you” and tear you down because low self esteem and men who feel “superior to you” because they’re attractive enough to get female attention at the drop of a hat. Being with a guy who’s attractive to you and you’re attractive to him is a good factor regardless..
[–]Hi_PandaFDS Apprentice-2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
of course, I knew that from day 1 and thankfully never need to read this post as a reminder.
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Loved your post I’m happy for you ❤️ it makes me nervous when I see posts like this because for some strange reason, this sub doesn’t take well to looksmaxxing. There’s nothing wrong with upgrading your looks and expecting men you date to be on your level. Looks affect a lot of things in this world.
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[–]MerleErEnPerleFDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]burpleseaurchinFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie49 points50 points51 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]willowgrowingrootsFDS Disciple12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SunflowerinVirgo0903FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]willowgrowingrootsFDS Disciple10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dalenoriahFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hi_PandaFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Orphanedpinkpetals3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Orphanedpinkpetals1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hi_PandaFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Hi_PandaFDS Apprentice-2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link