Low effort dates?

stillcantsee · 2019-12-11T19:17:37+00:00

Happy hour is low effort, you really can’t buy me a full priced drink after two months?! Fuck outta here

Itchy-Transportation · 2019-12-11T20:35:42+00:00

For me the red flag wouldn't be the happy hour specifically, but that there's been no change or escalation in 2 months? Seems like he's not exactly trying to chase you or impress you if after two months he's taking you to the same places at the same frequency.

abacadabat · 2019-12-11T19:12:13+00:00

yes, this is low effort.

here's what you do. before your next date, ask him what he has planned for the date. if he tells you he just wants to go to happy hour, say you'd rather do something a little more exciting and you're tired of doing the happy hour. he will either change plans or make up some excuse for the happy hours. if he makes up an excuse, don't go and stop seeing him. if he changes plans, great sign.

after this, he has one last chance. if he tries to suggest a happy hour for the next date, decline and stop seeing him.

Ms_Tilly · 2019-12-11T19:02:10+00:00

He was quick to want to see you when he came back, so that's a good sign. See what he has planned for Thursday. If it's another after work bar date and the conversation doesn't go in the direction of better dates when you both have off, you may be dealing with someone who isn't interested in doing better. You can also wait and see until Thursday and turn down that one if it's also low effort. You can say something to him if you want and if he gets defensive, there's your answer.

letsberealforamoment · 2019-12-11T18:59:04+00:00

"We do the same thing all the time. I bored with it. I want to go somewhere else".

Release your inner diva a bit and see what happens.

sveta68 · 2019-12-11T21:32:18+00:00

That is very low effort. You should be honest with him and politely tell him that you're tired of the happy hour dates and you'd like to do something new and a bit more exciting. If he still insists on the happy hour dates then dump his boring ass.

AverageToHot · 2019-12-11T19:47:08+00:00

Never accept a happy hour date. That's such a turn off.

extraacct1234 · 2019-12-12T00:48:10+00:00

I would suggest something but keep it open ended. "I've always wanted to ________!” or "Don't you think it would be fun to _______?”

And then wait and see if he steps up. If he likes you he will be listening. If he doesn't step up I would reconsider the relationship/dating.

This is a very low effort date. So you've gone on three or four dates like this? Eh. I really don't think a first date should ever be a happy hour after work affair. It really should be a proper dinner. The next date should be something else a little bit different, something where you can have a little fun but still talk. He really should have things that he's been wanting to do but he hasn't had a romantic partner to go do them with. Personally I would expect every date to be something different. Events, dinners, wine tastings, day tours and trips, a picnic in the park, a play, a concert, rafting, dancing, bowling, a sunset hike etc.

surviveIIthrive · 2019-12-12T03:01:59+00:00

I find that how they you start the relationship informs how the relationship will go. So if you start off having to nudge and ask for basic things that’s how it’ll be. You ask for a dinner date bc he couldn’t think of it himself - then you’ll most likely have to keep asking and suggesting things and they’ll mostly just sit there like a baby waiting to be fed. So make sure that you’re ok with continuing the same way you began. In this case, I’d just drop him! Even if he makes more of an effort to get you back after you ignore him, it’ll only be to avoid the rejection. And he’ll revert back to the beginning eventually once he has you back. Then be prepared to reject him anytime you want any effort. It’s exhausting!

grand_tiremaster · 2019-12-12T08:09:01+00:00

Yes, it’s low value. To put it in perspective— my boyfriend spent $40 on a single drink for me once. He asked the bartender for the greatest drink on the menu for the most beautiful girl. Granted, it was a HUGE drink, and strong.

But also drinking isn’t really a good date. Go to an amusement park together FFS.

Title	Low effort dates?
Author	rtd378
Upvotes	21
Comments	13
Date	December 11, 2019 6:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e9axht/low_effort_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/low-effort-dates.687101 https://theredarchive.com/post/687101

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