Let’s talk low value vs high value traits. This isn’t a meant as a shaming post but it’s blunt /to the point and designed to get you to understand this a learning process that requires self-reflection, which is key to becoming high value.

  1. Assuming you know what’s in someone’s head or what they’re about before knowing them.

Pickmeisha’s and LVM share this in common. Because many are insecure they assume everyone’s plotting against them because they are. They also project their insecurities on others and feel threatened very easily. They draw conclusions without any warranting suspicious behaviour. They perceive a threat where there isn’t one. This is because they have fragile egos and they often get up to nefarious low value shit themselves.

For example Pickmeisha sees an attractive smart woman in the workplace. She is jealous of her and assumes she’s the one who told the boss she was late yesterday- when it wasn’t. She assumes she’s ‘trying to get her claws’ in a married male colleague she was having a platonic conversation about work with. She starts trying to trip her up at work in response and starts gossiping about her to other female staff in a bid to ice her out and make her uncomfortable.

Realistically she is just jealous and creating dramas to justify her ill unwarranted feelings to her. She is projecting insecurity on a woman who’s minding her business.

Another scenario- Pickmeisha meets a smart attractive woman at a work event- she assumes she’s dumb / superficial and not feminist. She’s not like her who’s ‘not like the other girls’. She rolls her eyes, ices her out deliberately and makes nasty bitter comments about her to staff - despite the fact this woman is educated, friendly and very feminist/pro woman. Because of this she misses out on a high value contact / friendship.

This is petty behaviour and I have to say if you do things like this you will send high value people running for the hills away from you. They see you as problematic, insecure and weak. And it’s likely the more you behave like that the more petty insecure low vibrational women you will attract around you. You wouldn’t tolerate this in men - don’t tolerate it in women either.

Likewise the same happens with men. When they meet confident women they are quick to take offence and try to neg/ spite or triangulate her. They will cheat because they’re insecure and assume she’s cheating. They will try to knock her down because they feel threatened. It’s just petty behaviour.

Don’t assume you know a book by it’s cover. Stop assuming all attractive women are dumb and superficial evil conniving bimbos as a cover for the fact you personally feel threatened by them.

It’s narcissistic and delusional to expect you must be the best looking most successful woman in the room or ELSE everyone must feel the wrath of you. It’s unrealistic and stupid. No - women who’ve done nothing to you do not deserve shade or being knocked down a peg because you’re insecure. Address your ego problems first instead of offloading them onto other people.

  1. Poor communication skills

This is something LVM and Pickmeisha share in common also. They avoid conflicts and difficult adult conversations.

They prefer to put their fingers in their ears, act like a coward or point the finger of blame back at them. They do not like confrontation or flaws and think that makes them morally superior.

For example Pickmeisha keeps on turning up ridiculously late.

Her HV friend had said this is not acceptable.

Pickmeisha takes offence and carries on doing it without a care in the world then acts like a wounded victim when her friend blows up and has had enough of it.

This is exactly how an LVM behaves when he’s caught doing something shady, you’ve addressed it and he hasn’t changed.

Water works and deflection doesn’t run with high value mature people. You are responsible for your own behaviour.

They will keep dialogue open if you’re willing to admit fault and haven’t done anything too disrespectful but if you’re going to act like a stubborn child having tantrums and expecting people but up with your selfish behaviour- high value people will drop you from their life.

Likewise LVM will not take accountability for the ways they’ve damaged their partners trust in them. They expect they can wear her out by going round and round until she gives up. They will not want to have adult conversations if you’re not enjoying the sex or they’re doing it wrong. They will easily take offence and shut down.

  1. Acting desperate

Again this is something Pickmeisha and LVM share in common.

Men can pick up on desperate pick me energy. Trying too hard. Making everything a pick me contest trying to outdo friends. Trying to steal attention off your friends new flame etc. Posting half naked photos constantly. Constantly seeking Instagram likes. Spending all night looking over your shoulder to see if LVM are noticing. Making your entire life about male validation. Sleeping with men quick then wondering why they always bin you off the next week. They may also use HV women as dick bait then get jealous of them. They may even get jealous of who their single friend is talking to despite having a partner themselves.

LVM are the same - don’t take the hint someone doesn’t want them. Being pushy - lending women things they didn’t ask for and expecting sex. Projecting THEIR sexual desire and interest on other people and whinging when they don’t get their way. Orbiting and messaging women who clearly don’t want them. Negging women and then chasing after when they don’t bite.

A relationship takes two people and men will let you know if they want you. You don’t have to act desperate. Let them come to you and prove themselves.

High value people go about their lives and let men come to them. They don’t revolve their life around external validation. They also don’t let their ego in the way and take note when someone doesn’t want them. Even if it’s hard they acknowledge the reality of the situation.

  1. Being stubborn / stuck in a fixed mindset

High value people are constantly evolving and growing. They self reflect often and realise when they got something wrong and adjust. They’re movers and shakers - they don’t allow themselves to feel like victims long. They find a way to re-strategise, organise and do better. They look at what others are doing wrong/right. They don’t get jealous but instead look up to people above them and learn from them.

Low value people can’t stand flaws being pointed out or admitting they got something wrong. They are always right.

This is breeding ground for narcissism. Gaslighting and stonewalling when they don’t like what they hear instead of honest open conversations . Nothing will turn a high value person off faster.

Racists have a very fixed mindset for example. They stereotype black people they’ve never met and justify it with self righteousness and outright lies. They are often pompous, small minded and think they know better and they have nothing to learn.

People with a fixed mindset remain stagnant and repeat the same cycles/ mistakes - especially ones from abusive homes. They repel intelligent people with a layered growth mindset.

They also tend to be very selfish and have delusional idealisations of people - for example LVM who only do ‘nice things’ to later weaponise them and use it as a bargaining chip to make a woman tolerate their abuse. Their giving comes with the expectation you will submit to abuse.

Likewise with low value friends. Oh you won’t tolerate them being flakes? Fine we’re not friends then. Childish.

They have double standards and expect the same rules don’t apply to them. They don’t believe they need to apologise or change.

Low value people need to understand you can take a positive out of a negative and use it to grow / do better.

For example- many people get stuck in a stagnant / poverty mindset so they mentally cut themselves off from doing better because they believe it’s not possible.

All they do is whinge whinge whinge poor me- no I can’t do that because x y z excuse. No I can’t leave this loser but I will stay stuck with him for years and stay moaning about him 24/7 and blow up at anyone who dare asks why I’m still with him. They may say bitter things like ‘oh I wish I could afford a holiday’ when they blow their money on drinking.

High value people do not like hanging around people stuck in their ways who don’t listen . They aren’t a sounding board for issues you refuse to work on.

Believing better is possible is the first step to making that a reality. Read more books, listen to more motivational podcasts, understand your blindspots / triggers and strive to self reflect more often.

  1. Don’t learn from lessons / ignorance

This is similar to the point made above- low value people are very stagnant therefore they often repeat the same mistakes and go through life ignorant towards themselves and other people’s intentions.

Sometimes they avoid the truth to avoid feeling hurt /small which usually hurts them even more later down the line.

For example Pickmeisha sending essays to men she slept with fast that have spelled it out they don’t want them.

Pickmeisha blind trusting men and saying ‘women shouldn’t snoop /women are too judgemental’ only to find out her LVM has been using her and cheating.

LVM who are mommies boys / manchildren constantly going for women out of their league and not working on themselves.

Abusive men who keep on cheating and chasing high value women away.

High value people are very observant, question things and take note of blindspots. They prefer blunt truth over pretty lies so they can make better, more rational decisions about their life. They know there is a lesson in every mistake /difficult time. They turn their weaknesses into strengths.