A man/boy will try to manipulate your thoughts through sharing certain types of music. I'm going to keep this topic on a specific experience I had, and I am aware that the discussion can also be extended to the general music industry.

I used to talk to a man/boy, and he kept on pestering me on what kind of music I like - it could have been a harmless attempt. However, it got suspicious as despite me telling him that I don't listen to a specific genre of music, let alone listen to music at all, he was very persistent in telling him what type of music I like for days.

I gave in and told him a random few pop songs I could think off from the top of my head. He then shared a few of his own. Harmless right? At that time I thought it was. All the music that he shared afterwards had subtle messages such as how "evil girls have the prettiest face", heartbreak songs that pinned the blame on the woman, and a particular song that mentioned to tell the girl that she's beautiful everyday so as to get in her pants, with a colourful addition of how if she leaves him, he would kill her. It was disturbing. Yet I gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn't think much about it.

I was wrong. He then shared a music playlist for me. And in it was one of lany's ilysb song - somewhat sweet yes - but no way is the music video which condones violence to an ex that moved on - with rape implications- cute at all.

I can certainly say that it was the choice of his music that unconsciouly made me stay so as to not cause him 'heartbreak', along with my ... pity ( I say pity because I honestly felt bad for him and I had pickme traits) made me keep in contact with him far longer than it should have. Add unconscious fear as well because after that one particular song, he did start calling me beautiful everyday via text, which made me fear "leaving him" as he was very vocal about how that particular song is his favourite. In hindsight, I should have cut off all contact with him since the first conversation I had with him a month or so before on a different topic riddled with red flags.

To top it off, when I mentioned a few aspects of the music, he shut me down and said that they were only music, and that I shouldn't look too much into it (gaslighting).

If it was no such big deal, why be so adamant in sharing music with me, even after I explicitly stated that I don't really like music that much? And if that was an attempt to make me "like" music, it was a poor one because I believe that music is an art and an expression of emotions (which I also clearly told him in the beginning - I did "CoMmuNiCaTe"), and he clearly showed what type of thoughts he has, or what type of actions he condones, with the type of music he sent. A person who does not find rape, physical violence, aggression and manipulation downright unacceptable, is a person you should stay far away from.

Why did I stay in touch that long? Again as I said, I developed pickme traits. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I also didn't want to 'rock the boat'. I allowed myself to drop my standards. I don't open up to anyone that easily- people used to call me an ice queen. Which worked in my favour because it filtered out so many LV people. However, doubts and shitty internet "advice" made me loosen up - a stupid action on my part. I was on the right track until I doubted myself. Never again.