Free vs Slave

highoncatnipbrownies · 2022-02-09T13:08:26+00:00

I want to cross stitch this and hang it on my wall.

How many boyfriends have I not been able to say a simple "No that doesn't work for me" to without an absolute battle.

No I don't want to have dinner with your parents for my birthday. No I don't want want to pay all of the bills while you find yourself in league of legends. No I don't want to do 100% of the emotional labor and then be an on demand sex toy...

On top of that how many friends have freaked out over me having a different opinion! We don't have to be the same. I don't have to do exactly as you did. It doesn't mean you're wrong, it doesn't mean I'm wrong. Stop taking everything as criticism.

I feel like I am really expected to be a moldable clay for others to form around their own wants and needs. Having my own agenda or not matching these people seems to really upset them. It's not everyone but it seems to be a large portion of the population.

I'm much more of the mindset that I'm doing X if you're also doing X great! Maybe we can do X together.

But if you're not doing it, I'm not going to facilitate the entire experience for you. I'm not just giving X to you because it's something I do or have.

Also I'm not going to drop my thing to do your thing instead. Why can't I do my X if it's something you don't like? You go do your thing, stop worrying about my thing.

FineDeliciousSnakes · 2022-02-09T12:59:57+00:00

if they do so, they would be KILLED, FORCED back into SERVITUDE, or Become Free.

Or become free? By saying no, as a slave that cannot say no?

Please elaborate

oscine23 · 2022-02-09T14:52:33+00:00

I think the word ‘slave’ is used too freely these days to describe unfortunate, suboptimal conditions. We all know what slavery is/was. Women are not slaves. We have a long way to go, though.

katiekat0214 · 2022-02-10T14:56:41+00:00

It's not just men, it's MOSTLY men. Some women can be like this, too, and it's a low value human quality to get upset when people don't mirror them. All of this has to do with insecurity. For those who might not have seen: someone asks an opinion or just says something, you say something different, or have a different opinion. The usual case in point is either wanting or not to get married and/or have a baby. Original person gets all bent out of shape, angry, upset, etc. because you didn't mirror them and their shaky, not-thought-out, insecure "choice".

Rather than looking inward, feeling bad for a few seconds, and realizing they do have a choice, in fact many choices, they externalize their insecurity and start pitching a fit toward you. It is all completely PROJECTION. They can't or won't look within, question themselves, resolve to do better in the future, and mostly, just say okay, I made a mistake, and now I won't ever do that again.

Clearly for our purposes here, it's an excellent, quick vetting strategy. Say no, have a different opinion, set a boundary, see how this person reacts. That reaction will tell you everything. Look for micro-expressions, look for body language like a balled-up fist, or scrunched eyebrows, downturned mouth, etc.

I call this "singing the song of Why Won't You Comply". First verse was BUT WHYYYYYYYYYY won't you have kids. Second verse these days is BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYYY won't you date, marry again? YOU NEED A MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN". Such a popular song. Alas.

Title	Free vs Slave
Author	Interesting-Bat3992
Upvotes	286
Comments	14
Date	February 9, 2022 12:49 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/soct2y/free_vs_slave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/free-vs-slave.1101591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101591

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