My county’s prosecutor basically decriminalized sex work and now I’m paranoid that men I date will be see sex workers.

tallwomenneedlovetoo · 2021-01-18T18:20:33+00:00

Um, the only thing stopping a man from sleeping with other women has always been the man. Even if sex work was truly decriminalized, that same man could still go out to a bar and meet a woman without exchanging currency.

Vet, vet, vet for men’s opinion about sex. If he’s pro casual sex, I believe that is a large red flag. If a man brings up sex work on his own, at all, I believe that it’s a big red flag; all he’s trying to do is gauge your feelings on it to see what exactly he’s willing to reveal to you.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-01-18T17:22:35+00:00

If the only thing stopping the man from seeing a sex worker was the potential legal ramifications then this is likely a N/LVM already and you’re not missing much. 🤷‍♀️

ooftaboofta3 · 2021-01-18T17:51:03+00:00

I can totally get where youre coming from and I can see how that is a real fear of yours now, but (unless there are reasons here i am not aware of, this just speaks from my own knowledge) oftentimes the pushes for decriminalization have to do with sex trafficking because its difficult to save the people and children caught up in those rings when youre trying to prosecute them.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this though! Maybe date out of county? Not long distance but just put some distance between y'all so theres less risk?

weekend111 · 2021-01-18T18:37:19+00:00

Honestly, I’m not all that sad about this. Don’t take me wrong, I’m anti sex work, but I don’t like the idea of prosecuting sex workers, who are often victims of their situation/trauma.

As for men, they’ll sleep with sex workers anyway. Vet, vet, vet!

faux_naturale · 2021-01-18T17:57:37+00:00

...hate to break it to you, but plenty of them already are. People do illegal shit all the time. And strip clubs, phone sex lines, etc are already legal.

SWers are not your enemy. Plenty of men are having paid AND unpaid encounters. It’s the latter that you have to worry about; pros just want the cash, but the amateurs want a boyfriend.

tempted_temptress · 2021-01-18T17:30:39+00:00

Is it straight decriminalization across the board or is it like the Swedish model (selling sex is legal but buying sex is not)? I think something to keep in mind is that some people aren’t going to do something no matter how easy it is to access it. That’s why some people don’t go down to the corner store to buy cigarettes just because it’s there and they can now. The men that typically visit sex workers do it whether it is legal or not. What’s more important, though, is that you shouldn’t have to play detective with anyone in your life whether they be friend, family, or lover. The minute you have to play detective and can’t trust someone the relationship is over. It’s not worth it. You can tell whether someone you’re dating is the kind of person that would visit sex workers. Honestly people are more likely to have physical and emotional affairs than to visit a sex worker. You have to be more concerned with someone’s coworkers (because they spend 40 hours with those people) than sex workers. But you shouldn’t have to be concerned at all with a good partner.

Summerisle7 · 2021-01-18T18:54:48+00:00

I don't think you need to do anything differently regarding vetting men you date. Where I am, prostitution is practically legal as well - the local cops have interpreted the "Nordic Model" as meaning NOBODY gets arrested, including pimps and johns. But it's still only the lowest of the low who would ever hire a prostitute. LVM will use prostitutes whether it's legal or not. HVM will not do anything so LV whether it's legal or not.

I sympathize though. Your county prosecutor is a moron but this type of "sex work positive" posturing is becoming more and more common.

2021-01-18T21:02:05+00:00

About 14 percent of American men said they paid for sex at some point in their lives, but just 1 percent said they visited a prostitute in the past year (2010), according to the study, which is, in part, based on data collected as part of the General Social Survey by researchers at the National Opinion Research Center. (From google)

2021-01-18T18:01:02+00:00

Well that's infuriating. Women who live in your city are going to start getting sexually harassed a lot more frequently too now that the county has declared women commodities that exist for the sexual gratification of men. When one woman is an object, all women are objects.

I encourage you to seek radical feminists in your city (I know this might be difficult since you said it's a very "progressive place) and organise together to condemn and fight against the human rights violation your city has legalised.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-01-18T19:13:48+00:00

Hmmm. Can you DM me the city? I like to read laws etc.

Decriminalized prostitution typically means they prosecute the John’s, not the prostitutes. Look up the Nordic model.

But depending on where you are, they might mean for John’s too.

yesmme · 2021-01-18T19:21:12+00:00

It’s actually not going to make a difference on the men’s side. My hometown is an extremely sexually liberated place and I still met men who were HV and who found the sex and the drugs lifestyle way too much for them.

It’s all about vetting. I’m also very strict and make it known to these men that I don’t put up with their shit and if they fuck up even once, they’re out of my life.

Title	My county’s prosecutor basically decriminalized sex work and now I’m paranoid that men I date will be see sex workers.
Author	lifeiswacko
Upvotes	42
Comments	17
Date	January 18, 2021 3:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kzlshs/my_countys_prosecutor_basically_decriminalized/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-countys-prosecutor-basically-decriminalized-sex.739173 https://theredarchive.com/post/739173

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