I was seeing a man for a little over a year. I really had deep feelings for him. Maybe because it was my first relationship after my divorce, I don't know. He was fun, thoughtful, and sweet. He had good manners, owned his home outright, employed at the same place for 20 years, had kids the same age as mine, nice car, etc. He was a smoker, I don't mind that but this is important later.

Things started to go bad after about 6 months. He was diagnosed with cancer and started chemo. His entire personality changed. A sweet gentleman turned into a mean spirited person. He didn't want to go anywhere anymore saying he was sick and living on temporary disability. I tried to be understanding.

He started showing jealousy of my ex. Didn't want me talking to him. I still have some tax issues to work out with the ex and although our kids are grown, they live with him. This I ignored.

He was afraid to fly. I travel by plane to visit family across the country a few times a year. I thought eventually I'd get him to change his mind.

Other issues transpired and arguing and we stopped seeing each other but I still kept in contact with him by phone, text, and a few meetups. I liked his kids and I was worried about his health. I knew this wasn't working. But I still had feelings for him. I was hoping so much it would work out in the end once he finished his treatments.

Then he started growing a scraggly beard, which I thought was gross. I told him about my opinion, he didn't care and insisted it would stay.

Because of his cancer he had to quit smoking. Instead of medication he chose chewing tobacco. I find that repulsive and told him so. He said it's better than cigarettes and he was not going to quit dipping.

I've had enough and told him so. I asked if this was the hill he was choosing to die on and he said yes. So I told him goodbye and blocked him finally.

A man I loved chose a duck dynasty beard and chewing tobacco over me and it hurts.

I should have blocked him months ago and didn't. I would have saved myself a lot of aggravation and pain if I listened to FDS principles and got rid of him at the first sign of trouble.

I will be sure to follow them to the letter next time and stop being a pickme. It's hard though, it's so ingrained in my head.