PSA: Never send nudes.

alluringjustice · 2019-11-04T00:59:39+00:00

I have a very sex-positive lib femenist friend who’s used to be the biggest advocate for nudes “I’m not ashamed of my body/I have nothing to hide/I’m empowered and in control of my sexuality/I enjoy surprising my boyfriend with these photos”. She thought she was being smart by only sending them to boys she was in long term relationships with. Her boyfriend of 4 years physically assaulted her once and she went to stay with her parents brcause they were living together. Told her dad that her boyfriend hit her and he blew up, went to his house and they got in a fight. She was working as a high school teacher and the boyfriend forwarded her nudes to her colleagues and even a few of her students whose names he knew to get back at her for telling her dad. She lost her job and her reputation went to shit and even when she took it to the cops he basically got a slap on the wrist and was just told to delete them. Goddamn it was a fkn horror story. Don’t give any man that kind of power over you.

Liz_Lemondrop · 2019-11-04T00:18:11+00:00

It introduces a toxic power dynamic. He owns your body and can use it to threaten or intimidate you. He might not send it to your friends and family and workplace, but... he could.

Ms_Tilly · 2019-11-04T00:50:45+00:00

A guy asking for nudes has always been a turn off for me. Telling them no has never stopped them from pursuing me. And if it ever did? Definitely good riddance!

rftw2013 · 2019-11-04T03:01:29+00:00

Never send nudes! Even if he doesn't use them against you, his phone can be hacked and your photos can be distributed on the web by the hackers.

I don't send any sort of racy photos, period. Never have, never will. That's a hard boundary, and it's never getting crossed, not for any man.

s_slayer · 2019-11-04T02:09:49+00:00

I sent one to an ex not long ago, more to show my progress with my workout regimen (I was wearing a bikini bottom) , and he used to always ask me for them and I always said no but one day I thought “fuck it” and sent one anyway. Then he told me he shared it with some guy at a bar. I didn’t really care too much (and my face was cut out before I sent it) but rest assured it’s going to get shared and may come back to haunt you someday. They want to see you nude? Make them earn the privilege and make sure it’s always in person. Don’t let them tell you you’re so sexy and they just want to jack off to photos of you. You’re better than that! Never make a video with anyone either!

Spicy-kitty · 2019-11-03T23:30:09+00:00

I've seen comments shaming people for not wanting to send nudes for being boring.

Aight, when your ex leaks your nudes I'll be the one laughing.

alittleinterested · 2019-11-03T23:56:10+00:00

Yeah. Also some dudes get freaked out by the thought of a girl appearing so “easy” (not saying it’s the case at all, but men love a challenge). I leant it the hard way i guess.

femvindicta · 2019-11-04T04:59:52+00:00

Shallon Lester has some really relevant videos about it. Mostly, she tells you to never send nudes to guys you aren't in a relationship in. And even to a boyfriend, never send actual nudes, but instead provocative pictures.

https://youtu.be/Cj_yFrVt7WQ

(A bit old, but shorter and more to the point than her newer videos).

gravedestruct1on · 2019-11-04T00:22:39+00:00

The only time I’ve ever sent nudes I used the edit feature and drew a heart over my face.

Ironically enough the guy I sent the nudes to commented on it and said he liked the fact I did that....looking back on it it sounds suspicious like was he saying he would be tempted to expose me if things turned sour? Idk.

azngirl7689 · 2019-11-04T11:55:32+00:00

A congressional rep just got sacked for nudes. Why would any woman still think it’s a good idea?

yomoveoverman · 2019-11-04T05:55:09+00:00

Try not to even take them if all possible, nothing good can come from it. Our phones upload these to clouds, or someone sees your phone and finds it, idk, a million things can go wrong keeping them on there.

mandoa_sky · 2019-11-04T06:42:02+00:00

i wouldn't do it anyway.

there are many companies that are less willing to hire you if you have them.

I'd rather hedge my risks by keeping a job than making a random guy happy.

LisaRV · 2019-11-04T17:36:58+00:00

I love sending nudes tbh, its makes me feel powerful especially when I see how the moids lose their minds . I NEVER send nudes with my face or any defining features init...and I never send to anyone I'm dont feel comfortable with.

2019-11-04T15:17:29+00:00

I think my opinion is unpopular here, but if you don’t show your face they can’t be 100% sure it’s you. Especially if you don’t have any defining scars, tattoos, or birthmarks. And if you take them in a neutral setting, not a room that people could recognize, I honestly think you’re good. Nudes can be a fun way to express your sexuality, but definitely only with people you trust, not randos. And only if you want to, not because he’s begging. I said what I said.

Title	PSA: Never send nudes.
Author	HelpMeNotBinge
Upvotes	235
Comments	31
Date	November 3, 2019 11:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dr8lj6/psa_never_send_nudes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/psa-never-send-nudes.688926 https://theredarchive.com/post/688926

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