Red flags? 18F and 19M

ironymaiden87 · 2020-03-03T06:19:03+00:00

Honestly, that sounds kind of stalkerish and like he might be a total control freak. Personally that kind of behavior would send me running for the hills.

7_0f_9 · 2020-03-03T08:52:13+00:00

Please don't get into this man's car. You don't actually know him and you will be putting yourself in danger.

jesza09 · 2020-03-03T08:04:51+00:00

These are massive red flags, you haven’t even been on a date yet and he’s already acting clingy and possessive. I would put a stop to this relationship immediately, cancel plans and block him.

cantstopthemachine77 · 2020-03-03T11:34:23+00:00

Sounds kind of controlling. That’s been the case with every guy who has acted this way in my experience. It seems almost sweet at first, like “as he really cares” but don’t be fooled. He isn’t concerned about you he’s obsessing about not being the center of your attention and seeking reassurance that you are still into him.

And not because he just values your attention and affection that much, it’s because he’s really insecure.

This is the kind of guy that will accuse you of cheating for not texting him back right away. The kind of guy that will hack into or get your social media passwords to read your messages. You will constantly have to put in excessive amounts of emotional labor to assure him of the relationship.

Overalll, not the kind of guy you want to be in a relationship with.

cherieblosum · 2020-03-03T11:26:00+00:00

Abort mission. This man is controlling. If this is how he is before you guys are officially a couple, he'll only be infinitely worse when you're together. It's not caring. Soon he'll want to know where you are at all times and will probably get angry if you're not with him or not answering your phone. He's not worth it!!!

Radtron3000 · 2020-03-03T13:53:59+00:00

31F checking in, I'm getting a bad feeling just reading that. I wouldn't give him a chance. He's not being considerate of your time, he's acting anxious and insecure, he's trying to force communication between the two of you (controlling). Especially if your gut feeling is putting you off, you don't need to see this guy for a date. Unfortunately I feel like us women who've been in even one abusive relationship inevitably end up drawing more of the wrong type of men towards us. Don't dismiss that nagging sense something's not right. Obviously you feel it, that's why you've posted here. We're telling you you're not crazy for feeling turned off by his behavior. It's not cute.

radical__daphne · 2020-03-03T16:40:28+00:00

[hings you should watch out for? A dude calling you five times because you didn't answer a text immediately. That is highly controlling behavior. That's the greatest indicator that he will be an abuser. You need to dump this clown.

gigi_chi · 2020-03-03T13:39:32+00:00

These are omens of a controlling man. I very briefly saw someone like this and he ended up being a controlling monster.

Rockymemorylane · 2020-03-03T08:09:52+00:00

I think you have to set some boundaries. Be clear and communicate that you both need to maintain your independent lives which requires both of you to be away from one another for a part of the day.

Tell him you are at work, getting pampered, and practicing your hobbies. Don't give him all your time even when you don't have anything to do that day.

If he still doesn't respect your boundaries and how often he can have access to you then you might want to move on to a relationship where the guy is more secure with himself yet still prioritizes you all at once.

Also, because he is still very young and probably not that experienced, he might be incessant because he's naive and unweary of how relationship dynamics works. Naive and the inexperienced often cling than people with experience.

wanders-legs · 2020-03-03T06:15:04+00:00

Be straight with him It does seem a bit clingy and obsessive however not uncommon for an inexperienced young male trying to show you he cares about you. Be straight with him and in a nice way

I really hurt a male suiter back in the day for doing the same thing because I am not one for clingyness and I went about it rudely. Missed a beautiful opportunity to have a wonderful man by my side.

Title	Red flags? 18F and 19M
Author	celestial-ashes
Upvotes	5
Comments	22
Date	March 3, 2020 5:56 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fcq7ar/red_flags_18f_and_19m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/red-flags-18f-and-19m.681047 https://theredarchive.com/post/681047

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