Reminder: You are NOT "too much."

VioletRomantic · 2020-07-30T16:41:21+00:00

Too much for them, maybe. But I understand, its really hard to handle how passionate, talented, vibrant, beautiful, and exciting I can be. I think thats its really brave of them to admit that they'll just never be able to keep up or do anything to impress me. Maybe someday, with time and work, they can have a well rounded personality too!

coolerthanyouravgmom · 2020-07-30T17:25:39+00:00

During our dating time I let my husband know that I was the sort that didn't sit still well...I've got too many goals and aspirations and if he was the sort who wanted "someone at home" he's be sorely disappointed in me. His response was something to the effect of "aren't all amazing and successful women that way?"

Another time I was a little emotional about something, can't even remember what, but I apologized "for being a crazy bitch." He told me never to refer to myself that way again, that I had been conditioned to view myself as such, and to never apologize for my feelings. I remember what he said word for word because it caught me so off-guard. "I love every single one of your feelings" Swoon. 8 years later and he still tells me EVERY DAY some form of a compliment in the way of how beautiful I am, how amazing I am, how caring I am, how lucky he is, etc.

Edit to add: Just about every person in my life until about 10 years ago had always told me or insinuated that I'm too much, too sensitive, or too busy. I still have some family members that make comments, but the right man (and friends) will make it known they love you exactly how you are.

Delicious-Scholar · 2020-07-30T18:44:20+00:00

This resonates. Also being told you’re too “deep”, too intellectual, always wanting to dissect and discuss ideas, values, and emotions, the Plato-nic form of things.

minty-coral · 2020-07-30T17:27:26+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear this exactly today. Wasn’t feeling very good since yesterday and thinking I’m “too much” was a part of it.

sourrolls · 2020-07-31T04:01:07+00:00

“There she is. . . the "too much" woman. The one who loves too hard, feels too deeply, asks too often, desires too much.

There she is taking up too much space, with her laughter, her curves, her honesty, her sexuality. Her presence is as tall as a tree, as wide as a mountain. Her energy occupies every crevice of the room. Too much space she takes.

There she is causing a ruckus with her persistent wanting, too much wanting. She desires a lot, wants everything—too much happiness, too much alone time, too much pleasure. She'll go through brimstone, murky river, and hellfire to get it. She'll risk all to quell the longings of her heart and body. This makes her dangerous.

She is dangerous.

And there she goes, that "too much" woman, making people think too much, feel too much, swoon too much. She with her authentic prose and a self-assuredness in the way she carries herself. She with her belly laughs and her insatiable appetite and her proneness to fiery passion. All eyes on her, thinking she's hot shit.

Oh, that "too much" woman. . . too loud, too vibrant, too honest, too emotional, too smart, too intense, too pretty, too difficult, too sensitive, too wild, too intimidating, too successful, too fat, too strong, too political, too joyous, too needy—too much.

She should simmer down a bit, be taken down a couple notches. Someone should put her back in a more respectable place. Someone should tell her.

Here I am. . . a Too Much Woman, with my too-tender heart and my too-much emotions.

A hedonist, feminist, pleasure seeker, empath. I want a lot—justice, sincerity, spaciousness, ease, intimacy, actualization, respect, to be seen, to be understood, your undivided attention, and all of your promises to be kept.

I've been called high maintenance because I want what I want, and intimidating because of the space I occupy. I've been called selfish because I am self-loving. I've been called a witch because I know how to heal myself.

And still. . . I rise. Still, I want and feel and ask and risk and take up space.

I must.

Us Too Much Women have been facing extermination for centuries—we are so afraid of her, terrified of her big presence, of the way she commands respect and wields the truth of her feelings. We've been trying to stifle the Too Much Woman for ions—in our sisters, in our wives, in our daughters. And even now, even today, we shame the Too Much Woman for her bigness, for her wanting, for her passionate nature.

And still. . . she thrives.

In my own world and before my very eyes, I am witnessing the reclamation and rising up of the Too Much Woman. That Too Much Woman is also known to some as Wild Woman or the Divine Feminine. In any case, she is me, she is you, and she is loving that she's finally, finally getting some airtime.

If you've ever been called "too much," or "overly emotional," or "bitchy," or "stuck up," you are likely a Too Much Woman.

And if you are. . . I implore you to embrace all that you are—all of your depth, all of your vastness; to not hold yourself in, and to never abandon yourself, your bigness, your radiance.

Forget everything you've heard—your too much-ness is a gift; oh yes, one that can heal, incite, liberate, and cut straight to the heart of things.

Do not be afraid of this gift, and let no one shy you away from it. Your too much-ness is magic, is medicine. It can change the world.

So please, Too Much Woman: Ask. Seek. Desire. Expand. Move. Feel. Be.

Make your waves, fan your flames, give us chills.

Please, rise. We need you.”

SayNad · 2020-07-31T01:40:32+00:00

Remember ladies, the right HVM will love all of you and encourage you to go after your "big" dreams. He loves you because you are you, there's no such thing as "too much".

While LVM/NVM who just want a bangmaid and don't give two shits about you as a person will feel intimidated by your goals and will try to bring you down to their level - hence the "too much" comment. It is not you, it is them.

Capable_Okra · 2020-07-31T00:44:11+00:00

Corollary to this - I've often been told by men that I expect "too much" from them. I used to take that really personally and went through a lot of therapy trying to "fix" that part of me. Now I realize it only means I was expecting too much from that particular man. HE was incapable of rising too my level, and therefore I should keep my expectations high and seek elsewhere. If you know what's going to make you happy, don't settle for less just because some dude is too lazy to meet you there.

roselynn_sapphire · 2020-07-31T03:23:21+00:00

Yeah, my ex would always say I was too demanding when I wanted him to actually put effort into the relationship. It's taken a while to realize I wasn't asking for too much, just the bare minimum.

hikurangi2019 · 2020-07-31T00:45:07+00:00

Glad to hear I’m not alone on this one.

Title	Reminder: You are NOT "too much."
Author	DoodleJack
Upvotes	180
Comments	12
Date	July 30, 2020 4:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i0p6dt/reminder_you_are_not_too_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/reminder-you-are-not-too-much.719726 https://theredarchive.com/post/719726

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