Hi! I just made this account, but I have been lurking on FDS since I was 18 (I am 19 now).
Before FDS, I was very preoccupied with finding a boyfriend. This has been an attitude I have held since I was in elementary school. I am not sure why exactly--I assume it's a combination of media and seeing relationships around me. When I was 15, I discovered an app where I could meet other teenagers my age. Looking back on it, these kinds of apps are breeding grounds for pedos, and I encountered many. This led to me being groomed online and sending nudes to many boys.
Because of the lack of attention I received in person, I greatly valued the attention I received from guys on these apps, even if most of it was sexual. Luckily, I never met up with anyone from these apps, even though I have been propositioned to. I was deathly afraid of getting STDs or getting pregnant. I am glad I had this attitude because I could have been kidnapped, r*ped, and/or murdered.
In retrospect, I realized this was a form of self-harm. I would download the apps, find some guys, send nudes to them, feel guilt, and repeat. I kind of stopped once I started finding a solid group of friends to do stuff with in person. I've used Reddit before, but I mainly used RedPillWomen (gross) and other communities related to that. I am not sure how I came across FDS, but I am glad I did. FDS made me realize that sexual attention from men is worthless and equipped me with tools to filter out LVM.
The messages I received when I was younger would have warranted a block and report from me today. For example, one guy messaged me to tell me that he masturbated to my selfies. 15-year-old me thought this was the most flattering statement as I thought that meant I was "pretty enough" for a man to desire me like that. Now, I realize that he was a sexual deviant and probably did that to every girl he saw online. So gross.
I am dating a HVM right now that I would not have found through FDS vetting strategies. I try not to blame myself for my behavior in the past as I was naive and did not know better. I am currently in therapy right now to cope with healing. I am just glad I found this subreddit now rather than late into my adulthood :)
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