For those of you who watched this season’s Bachelorette and today’s finale, it’s been interesting to see viewer reactions to Katie’s discussion with Greg tonight. For those of you unfamiliar with the season, Katie was this season’s Bachelorette, and Greg was one of her final 3. Greg was originally Katie’s first pick from the start of her season, and she consistently showed her interest from the start in him, giving him a rose or group date each week. However, during last week’s episode, Greg decided to dump her because he was upset that she had decided to not say “I love you” to him. She explained that she wasn’t saying “I love you” out of respect to the other contestants, and that she was waiting until the end to say “I love you” to her final person. Greg, in a manipulative display of entitlement, talks over her and demands that she says “I love you” and eventually says he is leaving. (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wrDH2Z26wps)

Part of the reason why Greg’s behavior is problematic is that she was already giving him the most attention/validation out of all the contestants by a long shot, and it still wasn’t enough for him.

His talking over her shows that he doesn’t really bother to consider her stance/position (as the Bachelorette, she wants to be considerate of the other contestants who are still on the show) or her feelings at all (she already validated him the most out of all the contestants and consistently gave him the most attention).

In today’s After The Final Rose finale (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1V1ZFdpkvYE) Katie addresses the conversation with Greg and says that he was gaslighting her, even faking his affection (as she found out that he was an actor and had graduated from acting school in 2019) to get TV fame. What’s interesting to me is that the reactions on Twitter are truly heinous; you have a lot of PickMes defending Greg’s behavior from last week and accusing Katie of being a mean girl/“villain” for calling his manipulative behavior from last week out.

It’s eye-opening to see just how many PickMes are out there who are willing to defend male manipulation and despise when a female stands up for herself and asserts her emotional boundaries. It’s also a bit of a barometer of the current state of internalized misogyny on Twitter and the show’s female demographic.

Edited: It looks like some comments are criticizing Katie for being a PickMe and signing up for the show in the first place. I think this is not fair to Katie - FDS is supposed to build women up (including former PickMes who are learning about their previous errors). Katie may have started out as a PickMe, but her After The Final Rose interview with Greg shows that she realizes that she was manipulated and that her PickMe behavior was enabling him. As FDS-ers, we should be applauding her growth and not tearing her down.