THE PROBLEM WITH ONLINE dating: How dating apps sabotage our chances at finding a partner.

raphaellastorm · 2021-06-12T16:28:22+00:00

OLD is the scourge of society. I used OLD religiously for awhile and deleted it, but met at least once man I thought was a good match for me. We had common interests, similar values, and he was well-educated and smart. He made some overtly sexual comments and advances as early as our second date, which made me feel uncomfortable and cheap, but I tried to look past it and made excuses for it (I know…). Finally on our fifth date (this was after I deleted the apps) he said something so revealing to me that it affirmed why OLD is so toxic—he said essentially he had “pressed a few buttons” and met me. This is literally how men view OLD—it is the same effort they view other modern conveniences like ordering food or online shopping or ordering an Uber. They can just press a few buttons and, if they are lucky, have you show up right next to their house (preferably they live right next door to a park), walk around with you a bit, and then take you home and sleep with you. This is vile and commoditizes and cheapens women. It is disintegrating our society and culture, too. Much like people used to have to go out of their houses for food and goods, they used to have to for dating too and become part of communities where they met a potential partner. It was much harder then to get overtly sexual too soon or ghost someone when you met them out in the real world. (This by the way benefits men too, as men are way more likely to be ghosted; women, because of how we are brought up, are taught to be terrified of displeasing or making a man upset, which makes rejection so difficult.).

I firmly believe no one should use OLD. I’ve never been happier and calmer than since I deleted it. All women who live engaged lives and cultivate community can meet potential partners. There is literally no reason to use it.

giggleomg · 2021-06-12T17:16:42+00:00

Using OLD feels is like subjecting myself to low level abuse. I’ve been on enough dates. Nice guys turned out to be porn addicts or got mad I wouldn’t fuck them in exchange for a $25 entrée.

Some lied about living with their parents and were my age but not as evolved financially or mentally. Having already been with generous older men who were manipulative, abusive, and depraved in exchange for their perceived benefit, I’ve simply stopped dating to level up outside of money & my career and am focused on relationships with women.

When I re-enter the dating market, I will be ruthless. Scrotes say women only go for the top 10% of men. Well I gave nice guys a chance in various formats. They don’t deserve a woman like me.

Twohagsover30 · 2021-06-12T13:51:22+00:00

TL;DR

OLD makes people a product and commodity.
OLD necessitates marketing and 'selling' one's self
Swiping necessitates game strategy to maximize benefit
Ghosting is commonplace because it's easy and minimizes personal guilt

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-06-12T15:54:32+00:00

to me, there is a definite link between the demand for prostitution, pornography, trafficking and dating apps.

they all push for the commodification of women.

at this point in our culture it is simply a chance of 1 in a million to find a partner via a dating app. men have become groomed since they were boys by the porn culture to see online dating today as a means to order a free prostitute. women became commodities, easy access, already groomed by the pervasive porn culture.

Platipus6 · 2021-06-12T23:39:56+00:00

Interesting line about it being a marketplace.

We assume that 1 man and 1 woman will pair up and "be taken off the market".

But men never leave. They take a woman, abuse her, spit her back into the market.

We go on endless dates with shittass men and put them back into the market.

Men are getting more entitled and racing to the bottom for how easily they can get a free escort to degrade, women are getting more traumatized.

Sage_Planter · 2021-06-12T14:42:23+00:00

It's absolutely true.

Online dating needs to be rebranded as "online meeting." "Dating" implies being matched compatible people, but dating apps don't do that. It's just a way to meet people outside your social network. There's no way to easy find people who are going to be a good fit. Dating apps don't want you in a relationship because then they lose out on a customer.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-06-12T21:28:20+00:00

I had to stop when I made a profile from a straight man’s perspective. The verified/non-verified women are gorgeous. The men don’t measure up even the most attractive men. Like a lot of men are oogly or just bleh. But the sad thing is most women had to show a bunch of skin to “be picked”. Few women ever win on dating apps.

Elegant-Emergency-60 · 2021-06-16T20:11:40+00:00

Yeah OLD just made me bitter and sad about the idea of dating. So many guys are just on there to dump their problems on you and get a confidence boost before running off to chase the girl they’re ACTUALLY interested in. So demoralizing.

I uninstalled all of them back in 2019 after giving it a good go for 3 years. Honestly I’m happier but I feel like my confidence isn’t back to where it was before. I’m working on it though and you ladies have been a great help.

I should search through FDS to find some of y’all’s suggestions for meeting people besides apps.

Title	THE PROBLEM WITH ONLINE dating: How dating apps sabotage our chances at finding a partner.
Author	Twohagsover30
Upvotes	180
Comments	21
Date	June 12, 2021 1:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ny6zzo/the_problem_with_online_dating_how_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-problem-with-online-dating-how-dating-apps.782888 https://theredarchive.com/post/782888

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