This article should be a lot shorter, “if a man regularly yells at you, leave”

goatismycopilot · 2020-06-18T17:46:09+00:00

Yah I was going to say you can just not date somebody with temper outbursts.

whenthecagedbirdsing · 2020-06-18T17:52:22+00:00

I second the title. My narc use to yell at me. I tried what the article suggested. Didn’t work. I won’t put up with it again. It’s just best to leave these temper tantrum babies alone. They have some inner work to do.

Primary-Alarm · 2020-06-18T17:58:37+00:00

If he yells at you, he doesn't give a fuck how you feel. If he did, he wouldn't be yelling. Why are people trying to get women killed?

riseaboveagain · 2020-06-18T19:58:44+00:00

My father yelled at all of us constantly, it was awful, and it’s something I’d NEVER tolerate from any man now that I’m an autonomous adult. Never.

thewetdog_ · 2020-06-18T21:54:32+00:00

The only thing i would take away (and that’s a stretch) from this is that de-escalating is an amazing skill that everyone should know. But it’s NOT the woman’s burden to learn to de escalate in the face of disrespect. However, keeping your composure when someone else is losing their shit is not only HV and classy, but it’s also powerful as f because if gives you leverage going forward as the “rational” one - which is a huge mindfuck for men. Also, if you always keep a cool head and never show your cards, manipulators will show themselves as they get increasingly frustrated (and hence, agresive) when you’re not bending.

All things said, this is a useful tactic but not to make yourself compliant but to regain and keep control over the situation and discourse, which men LOVE to hijack.

7102a · 2020-06-18T22:17:35+00:00

My ex husband had a horrible temper. It's the reason I left him. Nothing I ever tried could've made him stop. He swears up and down he has changed but I just heard from a friend that she overheard him yelling at his new gf the other day. Boy bye. So fucking glad I don't have to put up with that anymore. Idc how fun, sexy, charming, intelligent, handsome etc a man is. If he can't control his anger he has to go. Biggest deal breaker ever.

2020-06-19T06:35:54+00:00

The person on the receiving end of verbal abuse doesn't have to do anything to change their behavior...what did I just read?

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-06-18T23:26:30+00:00

Bad temper is just lack of self-control dressed up in a "macho" package. It's extremely unattractive and a big bright neon sign proclaiming LOW VALUE.

BaglessUpright · 2020-06-18T18:10:44+00:00

WTF. They describe an abusive man as abusive, and then go on to tell women how to reason with him? Because she's responsible for his behavior, right? Fuck no.

Can you link to this article or tell us the title? I'd love to tell Psychology Today what I think of this irresponsible, victim-blaming bullshit.

penelopekitty · 2020-06-18T19:58:17+00:00

In other words, treat men like toddlers. WTF are these people thinking?

ovaryeasysideup · 2020-06-18T20:23:58+00:00

Eh... this is like the opposite for us. I tend to have the temper and it really puts him off.

Title	This article should be a lot shorter, “if a man regularly yells at you, leave”
Author	Ratataratata22
Upvotes	151
Comments	22
Date	June 18, 2020 5:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hbirdd/this_article_should_be_a_lot_shorter_if_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-article-should-be-a-lot-shorter-if-a-man.696668 https://theredarchive.com/post/696668

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