When did you wake up & level up?

_mangoes_ · 2019-11-19T06:40:02+00:00

I started waking up to men’s bullshit at around 26 after being dumped by my ex of 3 years who wasted my time. Then it took me being single for a year to really internalize everything and start fully leveling up. Now at 29, I am truly a savage on the inside (sweet on the outside) and have multiple men wrapped around my finger. I wish I knew this stuff sooner life is way more fun now.

caffeine_inmyveins · 2019-11-19T08:52:37+00:00

I'm 26 now, just got back into the dating scene after ending a LTR of 7 years. I was a pretty nice girlfriend and a pick me, until I realize that my ex was just stringing me along and keeping me around for convenience. (He had his own issues - like gender dysphoria, which I put up with because I felt like I was so invested - but that's a story for another day.)

I found this sub after I was looking around for dating resources because things are so different now. It's great because I'm getting lots of attention as a newly single and now I am better at reading guys' intentions. I also see some things explained here happening to my female friends which now I can identify.

The dating scene is slightly different from what I usually see on this sub (from an Asian country) so I'm just taking what is applicable. It has been great for me so far.

chokeychokey · 2019-11-19T06:54:30+00:00

Age 19. I’m 19 now and still have yet to date, but I have come across a lot of shitty men and I’ve learned lessons through others as well as myself.

Meredeen · 2019-11-19T10:30:56+00:00

I was directed here because someone linked this sub and were trash talking it. Reading the sidebar and the posts made me realize logically that I had it all wrong with how I thought of men and my role in a relationship (I am demisexual). It made me feel more hopeful and a lot less alone to know that there are other women out there that are tired of male depravity, that it's ok to wait for a good man, and especially to be single. That's not something I've really heard before.

Throwawaykaljrin1178 · 2019-11-19T06:29:20+00:00

I feel so lucky that in life, I learned these things quite early. I grew up with a deadbeat dad and I had an awful relationship when I was 19. I learned pretty quickly what I would and wouldn't tolerate in dating or even a partner.

Never drop your standards. The only people who complain about them are people who can't reach them.

Also, the times where I have dated were not so stressful because I wasn't wasting my own precious time on catering to dropkick boys. I firmly believe that if you invest in yourself first and foremost others will invest in you.

dalia-chan · 2019-11-19T16:08:05+00:00

When I was 18 I dated a broke gamer student who was 24, my mom is adorable but she’s a real pickmee cause she wanted me to love him for he is and to buy him gifts to cook him meals, till I told her that he wasn’t fitting in my standards cause he was broke, and emotionally lazy then I dumped him and blocked him, now at 20 I’m in med school dating the son of my father’s boss.

I am waiting mariage to have sex, and he’s 1 year younger than me so having him wrapped around my pinky finger was a piece of cake, he offers me whatever I want, and that’s the most important thing. But my mom despise my attitude and tell me that it’s soo shallow to date this guy just because he came from a wealthy family, while I deeply know that he would never lay an eye on me if I was ugly.

Many girls my age despise me and call me a heartless bitch and a gold digger, but I deeply know that I am doing the right thing for my futur.

My biggest goal will become a surgeon so I will use my money for my self and to avoid a prenup so that even if he leave me for a younger girl when we will be 40 I will leech him off his money. I am loyal, and I love that he’s handsome and nice , but I am honest enough to admit that I care more about what he offers me financially.

I never understand why girls my age even give broke men a chance.

fisherdiseaser · 2019-11-19T09:43:01+00:00

I'm soon-to-be 23yo. I think I started to realize about this at some point last year, but it's now when I'm truly convinced.

I always kinda had some ideas, but I was a pick-me for a very long time.

Last year, I started realizing I was just better, and felt better when I was alone. Not everyone I've ever dated was bad, but most people I got more serious with put me through some sort of hell.

My friends have also called me judgy and bitchy for having standards. That at first really hurt me, and made me keep seeing people who were no good for me. But, if my friends want to date dirtbags and people who are really not for them, well, let them be. I will keep doing my thing.

For me, it was also learning I had a choice. I could chose to be alone, and I could chose not to stand shit from a dude. Learning I had a voice and a say on what my needs and expectations were.

christmasforoutlaws · 2019-11-19T12:25:33+00:00

Late October. There was a fuckboy/friend in my life who was constantly lying to me. The final straw was when he got a girlfriend in September, didn't tell me, and wanted me to continue being his emotional support/therapist/ego boost/validation/intellectual conversationalist. I blew up at him and deleted him off all social media. I realized in that moment that the whole friendship revolved around him. I honestly couldn't remember the last time he asked how my day was. Sadly that kind of behavior is normal to me because I grew up in a really abusive home. All of my romantic relationships have been toxic at the least and abusive at the worst. Never again.

rad_daphne · 2019-11-19T15:15:56+00:00

I know how you feel. It's almost impossible for me to be friends with women who have a boyfriend because I can't stand hearing about how much shit they take and they never leave or listen to anyone.

Get older female friends. They are more likely to be done with the bullshit. Also long-term single women, shows they won't let just any fuckboy in their life. Then vet them with stories from this sub and gauge their reactions. Good luck.

musephotos · 2019-11-19T07:42:37+00:00

I’m 43 so I think I woke up a little after the love of my life left. After him, I just didn’t GAF anymore. I saw how selfish he was and I don’t remember the exact moment but one day I was just like I’M DONE.

There’s this line in Fight Club that says “It is only when you have lost everything that you are free to be anything.” I took this line and adopted it to my moral code. Now I realize most of my stupidity was actually hormonal. You think it’s feelings but it’s just your body flipping out from all the damn chemistry flowing in your brain. Once that drops off it’s like a fog is lifted and you can see clearly. If you can reach this mental acuity earlier than that, you are and will be a happier woman.

PurblWasp · 2019-11-19T12:10:03+00:00

Once I realized I could be happy on my own. Truly. Life is so much better when you can do whatever you want for yourself. This includes friends as well, you don't need to wait for a friend to have time to see a movie together or similar.

I just happened to find this sub when it clicked.

CSQUITO · 2019-11-20T12:33:36+00:00

15!!! Thank god, I’m not entirely sure how, but it meant I never had a damaging shitty relationship. Maybe it’s because my dad was a piece of abusive trash who beat me and my mum up, eventually stopped working and lied about it and had been gaslighting my mum for years about continually cheating with a “family friend”.

Unfortunately it means I have no trust for men so I basically smell the first sign of a red flag and I run

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Title	When did you wake up & level up?
Author	jagupp
Upvotes	60
Comments	27
Date	November 19, 2019 5:48 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dyga1r/when_did_you_wake_up_level_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-did-you-wake-up-level-up.695259 https://theredarchive.com/post/695259

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