When your date has high earning potential but cannot afford paying all of the couple expenses, should I split the bill until he can in years?

manisfestationqueen · 2020-07-18T17:03:42+00:00

I'll tell you something. One time I met this girl, she would tell everyone her boyfriend is a doctor! He's a doctor!!! He had recently graduated so he wasn't earning much as a resident. She would even pay for him many times, in her eyes, she was soon to be the wife of a doctor. How exciting! She paid his bills. Now they're no longer together, now that he earns over a 100k he's gone. But when he needed her help financially he was around. Potential doesn't mean anything, a homeless man on the street has potential. If you are happy doing 50/50 go ahead, but in my experience it doesn't mean that they'll pay you back for anything in the future.

Sage_Planter · 2020-07-18T17:05:00+00:00

Don't date potential. Men (and women) fail out of school. People don't end up liking their jobs. It's harder to get something stable than expected...

I'm personally OK with finances being more equal once a committed relationship has been established, BUT this means he needs to be an equal in other aspects (emotional labor, domestic duties, in the bedroom). Don't fall for splitting 50/50 while you're the only one scrubbing toilets.

tellmesomething11 · 2020-07-18T17:24:37+00:00

Nope. There is no guarantee you’ll be together. You’re paying hoping that when he has money, he’ll pay for you. You’re actually setting the expectation of a 50/50 relationship. And even if he makes 100k, his loans will be astronomical. Therefore 50/50. Invest in yourself, instead of paying 50/50 on a dinner that’s 100 bucks, that 50 dollars could go towards your 401k, debt, classes to further your career, a nice object for your apartment.....

Neorago · 2020-07-18T18:03:10+00:00

We don't fall in love with potential here sis.

tobikko · 2020-07-18T20:01:19+00:00

If he cant afford to date he shouldnt date at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

PomegranatePrincess8 · 2020-07-20T11:32:46+00:00

Men don’t date women who will « potentially » have sex with them in a few years. They do not date women for what they can « potentially » provide for them. They date to have their needs met when they want them. Which is almost always *Now.

Stop dating men for potential. It’s a waste of your youth. Men are an abundant and disposable resource luv. Why wait YEARS of your youth that that you can NEVER get back, when you can just date a man who ALREADY has the credentials you desire.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-07-18T19:45:23+00:00

Don’t fall in love with potential.

Some people shouldn’t date if they’re so broke that they can’t pay for a meal at least once or twice a month. I was a VERY broke student but I still bought my friends food and little gifts here and there, also bought my bf gifts. If im seeing someone who’s still in school, I hold them to the same expectations because if I did it, why can’t they?

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-07-18T19:54:58+00:00

Nope, don't do it. Allow him to take you out when he has the money. Invest in yourself, and don't bet on potential.

Wkndwhorechata · 2020-07-19T02:58:49+00:00

This is called a risky investment.

toskaache · 2020-07-25T19:32:35+00:00

DO NOT. This is what being a "first wife" is. The man uses you until he gets his high pay job and then he leaves you. Don't date potential. Date what is already there.

GlitteringContact8 · 2020-07-18T21:09:50+00:00

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