So I know we’ve had a few posts dedicated to the sapphically inclined FDSers but I haven’t seen any recently or about this specific topic.

I know that part of leveling up for any lesbian/bi woman is dealing with any internalized homophobia and being prepared to make the first move by asking other women on dates, planning dates, and such. This is I think one of the biggest strategy differences between dating women and dating men. And for bi women especially, we may date both men and women so we need to be able to switch to taking that more active role and pursuing when we date other women, and not expecting women to approach us the way we would expect a man to, or conversely end up only dating men because we don’t put in effort to approach women we’re interested in.

That being said, as HVW we also want to be able to vet our female partners for their level of interest in us, and also especially as bi/lesbian women we often worry about making a woman uncomfortable by asking her out. And depending on where we live it might not be safe to be openly lesbian or bi, so it might be risky to ask a woman out if we don’t already know she’s into women.

So where do you ladies meet women? Do you stick to places where you can reasonably assume she’s into women like LGBT groups/events, or wlw dating apps? Or do you ask out women you meet randomly in your daily life, like in hobby groups? My strategy thus far has been to only ask out women who mention previous female partners or being wlw, or to mention that I’m bi if she asks and see how she responds to that, but I recently moved to a smaller and more conservative area so I’m thinking I might need to be more active and intentional about finding women to date.

Likewise, as far as sensing her interest in a relationship, usually if I ask her on the first date (which I plan and pay for) I will wait for her to bring up the possibility of a second date, likewise if she asks me out first I will suggest and plan/pay for a second date if I like her. I don’t mind planning/paying for several dates in a row for a woman I like who seems HV, and I know some women just really don’t like being the one to ask, but also if she’s not asking when we can see each other again or saying things like “we should do this thing on our next date” I do question if she’s interested in me.

What do you queens think? Do you have any tips or strategies for meeting HVW? Anyone meet their wife/gf using FDS principles?

(Also sorry if this is the wrong flair, I didn’t see anything that seemed specific to wlw dating)