Yet another reason never to “date down”... If you, do they can’t handle it. Never settle.

persephones_torch · 2020-03-21T19:06:35+00:00

100% true. When you're too good for them they know it and do little things to test you. They know the relationship is too good to be true and has a time limit. And you're over there thinking "is this MF for real".

It's not about us. It's about them. They need to figure their shit out and they know it.

tita_ · 2020-03-21T21:28:13+00:00

"we accept the love we think we deserve"

Anniealmighty1 · 2020-03-22T04:56:50+00:00

It's relevant on the other end too. I grew up in abuse and met an amazing, very hvm at 22. Two and a half years later we were engaged. He treated me like a Queen. My friends and family loved him, my sister used to joke that he worshiped the ground I walked on. That man never lifted his voice to me once, was loyal, kind, attentive, happily provided, did little things like brought me my favorite starbucks every morning, and surprised me with jewelry, flowers and once with concert tickets to my favorite band I had always wanted to see. We had a blast together all the time. He supported my goals. And I found myself just sabotaging it right before we got married. I told him I was scared to get married. I started feeling angry and annoyed with him for nothing. I left him and I still feel guilty. I would go back in a heart beat but he cut contact to heal. It took me a few years of therapy to figure out why I did it. I just didn't believe I was worthy of the kind of love he gave me. Trying again this time, knowing that's not true and having healed that part of myself.

I honestly interpreted his comment that way, it's not necessarily about "dating down" at all. He wasn't dating down with me, and neither was I with him. One of us just couldn't accept real love bc of trauma and self hate that didn't really surface until later. But it's true that if a man ever tells you "I don't deserve you" listen and run. Either he's telling the truth or he's damaged and you can't fix him, sis. He'll have to do it on his own.

GraveyardH2020 · 2020-03-22T00:16:31+00:00

Literally this was my entire last relationship - I wish I had known sooner. I thought that he was too good for me 🤦🏻‍♀️

2020-03-21T20:34:31+00:00

Y e s.

Skittleschild02 · 2020-03-21T23:37:41+00:00

When I dodged that bullet, phew. He wanted to play with two of us. I opted out and allowed him to play with her. Now, he’s stuck playing daddy and trying to figure out how he’s going to afford a big ass wedding. (He’s not going to marry. He’s going to pick a fight and force her to dump him. That’s what he does.)

Meanwhile, I’m just over here being cute and happy.

Imatworkmotherfucker · 2020-03-22T17:01:06+00:00

100%

Title	Yet another reason never to “date down”... If you, do they can’t handle it. Never settle.
Author	CuriousCatNYC777
Upvotes	291
Comments	14
Date	March 21, 2020 6:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fmjjvk/yet_another_reason_never_to_date_down_if_you_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/yet-another-reason-never-to-date-down-if-you-do.679810 https://theredarchive.com/post/679810

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