Why autistic men are seen as 'low' value.

SchalaZeal01 · 2024-11-30T21:39:42+00:00

I have trouble understanding the wording, the questions, and the discussions to be had.

Though I'll say that asperger in men is often seen as men "doing it on purpose" when not understanding social cues, reading emotions, or doing some emoting themselves (or lack thereof when expected, ie crying, joy, anger).

That they'll be treated as misogynists for wanting a guide to navigate dating, when its not something wizardly to think of, and platitudes of 'be yourself' certainly won't help them understand the dynamics, expectations, codes etc.

Personally, I wouldn't have wanted a 'guide' like a step by step thing to pick up girls (or boys). Even if it worked. Knowing the expectations would still be nice. I'd likely question the reason for them existing, much like I don't celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving or Labor day. Tradition of people I've never known is not reason enough. Tradition as a kid is not a reason to continue.

I don't blindly accept tradition, expectations, etc as valid. I question each of them. Like I always sleep clothed, well 90% of the year, and with a top 100% of the year (regardless of how hot it is), and telling me 'people don't do this' would not deter me. It's uncomfy to do otherwise. Self-testing says to go with my instinct, not 'what others do'. So I mostly listen to expectations in untested areas. I still would likely try it out myself, first. Before checking if I overlooked something important. And modifying the popular method I find most comfy into 'my way' (customized), if my original way was off course. For things like builds in games. I go with my own build, see what popular builds are like and what my build might lack, and adapt to have a 'my build' version of the popular thing. I don't just copy builds, that's boring.

Fallen-Shadow-1214 · 2024-12-01T08:19:04+00:00

Yeah, autistic men are often forced to “take responsibility” for a lot of shit that wasn’t their intention or fault merely cause they’re vulnerable, lonely and easily manipulated.

It’s horrible what happened to that kid, and I hate that no one came in for him in his time of need. He deserved better, he deserved justice.

Johntoreno · 2024-12-01T15:51:08+00:00

Autistic men getting the short end of the stick in dating is the direct fallout of the commodification of human relationships. Men&Women are no longer just humans looking for companionship but rather have become products that have a set value based on age, racial, finaincial&cosmetic criteria. Human Companionship is treated as if its a business agreement where both parties aim only to maximalize their profit margins, its disheartening.

BootyBRGLR69 · 2024-12-01T15:42:06+00:00

In general, people are quicker to assume that whatever problems a man has, he should be able to handle himself. This makes dealing with things like autism really fucking hard for men. I know many people unfortunately think of joker as an “incel movie” but the quote “the worst part about having a mental illness is that people expect you to act as if you don’t” comes to mind here. Yeah, it can apply to women too, but there tends to be more of a “oh, well she can’t help it” vibe to the discussion then.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2024-12-01T16:51:28+00:00

idk what it is but many women seem compelled to insult their husbands intelligence or secure a sense of mental superiority

Tevorino · 2024-12-01T17:24:41+00:00

"Low value" is, as far as I can tell, Female Dating Strategy terminology. I haven't heard it outside of that sphere, and FDS doesn't represent the general female population very well. I think people would do well to avoid giving credence to FDS terminology through repetition.

There was also a case where a guy was sentenced to life in prison, but this video breaks down how he was basically groomed into the act:

Just so you know, the broad use of the word "groomed" like this, where it gets used to describe the manipulation of an adult, is why I don't take the word to mean anything more than "influenced in a way I don't like".

Yes, Gypsy was a terrible influence on him and it's unlikely that he would have murdered anyone if he had never met her, yet he already had a criminal history before meeting her that included disorderly conduct and a weapons offence. Therefore, it seems that his life was already on a trajectory towards incarceration.

As well autistic interested been seen as misogynist which sadly a lot of autistic men aren't able to navigate or understand long-standing social issues which can lead to them to becoming radicalized by the manosphere but it can also provide grounds for stereotypes.

This is definitely a problem. The Alek Minassian murders in Toronto hit close to home for me as I was walking on that very sidewalk that day and could potentially have been one of the victims if my timing had been a bit different, so I listened to Runkle's review of his police interrogation with considerable interest. What I see in that interrogation room is someone who shows no signs of violent inclination and whose interest happened to be captured by the darker part of the online "incel" world. He talks about his horrific crime as if it were a videogame, specifically saying that he was completing a "mission". There is no doubt in my mind that had he not encountered these people online, he would never have hurt anyone other than videogame characters.

Ironically, both Runkle and myself fall into that category of people who might be on the mild end of the spectrum, but were never diagnosed because we went through school before anyone was looking for it and we learned how to "mask" without having ever heard of the concept.

Brave-Pie-9831 · 2024-12-03T07:02:09+00:00

Autistic men are basically viewed as a bunch of misogynistic/incel types. We're always accused of using our Autism as an excuse for bad behaviour. Guys on the Autism spectrum get labelled with every negative stereotypes under the book, even when we're just explaining the circumstance we go through and the reasons for others perceptions of us.

Character_Cellist_62 · 2024-12-01T19:49:52+00:00

People straight up don't understand that it's a neurologic condition and also don't understand how much neurology informs people behavior. Couple this with bad actors who use autism as an excuse for acting like a dickwad and you've got massive fucking stigma that bleeds into every corner of the social interactions of men w/ autism.

You make a good point about radicalization too. There are a lot of alt-right communities (LessWrong comes to mind immediately) that prey on disenfranchised dudes who are on the spectrum. Couple this with how easily many of them are manipulated and you've got a NeoNazi fresh in the incubator.

No-Island-6862 · 2025-08-16T01:59:42+00:00

Because no one gives a damn about us. There's no reason.

SlimShady1415512 · 2024-12-13T17:24:09+00:00

I don't know if I am autistic, I show symptoms of asperger's but I don't have a diagnosis. I am very easily manipulated and this has caused me many problems. People always have a predatory behavior while dealing with me. I don't even talk to women who aren't my friends because of this since there is a high chance that the woman I am talking to is a bigot against autistic behavior. This has led me to a lot of phobia in social situations. I don't even pick up calls from unknown numbers because scammers and others etc will find it very easy to manipulate me. The fear of getting manipulated is affecting my life a lot

OvercookedS7 · 2024-12-02T22:01:09+00:00

I was able to use being Autistic to my advantage during my younger years. I focused intensely on my looks and found very specific social scenes that often attracted other neurodivergent people (goth clubs for example.) Back then, women approached me first and my quirks were seen as cool and interesting. Fast forward to my mid 30's and that no longer works. For one thing, I'm bald now, which I never thought would end up happening to me. It has wreaked absolute fucking havoc on my self-esteem and turned me into a near total recluse and now I'm just a lonely sperg.

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