I met Tom while as an intern when I worked in medical labs, he was an interesting fellow. He was pretty eclectic, but he seemed pretty upbeat and positive. He enjoyed showing us students around the lab and how to navigate the Laboratory Information Systems and what was expected of us.
Tom had an interesting life from what I remembered: He had one eye, and one fake eye, he lost it when a metal pipe fell from a truck bed and hit him square in the eye, he didn't let it get him down. He was in some type of military service, that is where he received his training for the medical labs. He moved around to a few different states and ended up in the town where I met him. He had been married a twice, divorced once.
People were nice to Tom's face, but they were quick to bad mouth him when he wasn't around. Mostly because he didn't fit a narrative, was a bit goofy, but the thing people really liked to hone-in on about Tom? Tom was in a "Men's Support Group". They loved to tease him about it, and talk bad about it.
I asked Tom one day about this "Men's Support Group" and he told me it was a meeting that was held once a week, for men, and they could sit around and discuss men's issues. Family issues that were affecting them. A place to discuss a perspective of thoughts, concerns, and ideas that would be received by a group of your peers; other men. I wasn't really interested at the time, but I didn't feel like it was weird. I remember viewing it almost as a non-violent Fight Club? Maybe that was my only reference point at the time. Anyhow, as I mentioned earlier, people loved to tease Tom about it.
As I continued my internship in that lab, I remember hearing about Tom having some struggles at home, but I didn't busy-body myself into it as I kept focus trying to pass classes, make a good impression, and keep out of people's personal lives. The people in the lab didn't really provide support to him from what I remember, but I guess everyone know about his wife wanting a divorce.
Tom and his wife had been together years, I believe they had one or two kids with each other and the kids were in their early teens. They had finished remodeling a house, remodeling the entire living room, and basically set the house up for the next decade or so for success as a couple. I heard the living room was beautiful.
Tom didn't show up to work one day. He didn't call in for his shift, he didn't contact anyone letting them know he wasn't going to show up. He just, wasn't there. An hour later, I found out that about a week after the remodeling was done, Tom's wife gave him papers for divorce in the evening...and kicked him out of the house.
So the next morning, Tom drove himself over to the house he used the live in. He went through the door into the living room he paid to remodel. And he shot himself in the head, and let his wife come home to find him there. She ended up selling the house because the memory was too much for her.
I've always kept this story in the back of my mind and used it to remind myself of the importance of self recognition. As I began to go my own way more I think back to this "mens support group" that Tom was in. I feel like he was not only ahead of the curve, but might still be here if the concept and message of MGTOW was something that could have reached him in time.
Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to share this life experience with you all, and hope that there is some sort of take-away from it, and that maybe what Tom did wasn't in vain. Make wise choices, and understand there are always resources and groups to reach out to.
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