I envy you

CiceroVoltaire · 2019-05-26T20:16:30+00:00

this sounds familiar.

My ex (lawyer) became a stay-at-home mom when our kid was born. On our "cul-de-sac" of about 10 homes (starting at 6K sq ft and up), 9 of the women were stay-at-home moms, well they stayed at home and forgot about the mom and wife aspects. I'd often work from home, so I saw what happened first hand, and I'm guessing they were more subdued because I was home. Afternoon get togethers at someone house, wine, wine and more wine, food (my wife would cook for these events, not for her family lol).

It got so bad that I could hear them in my home office, and had to ask them to keep it down when I was on work calls.

These women basically ignored the kids, in most of these houses there were bonus rooms that we used as playrooms for the kids, they were all herded into the playroom, closed door, and the women started to party. This led to many arguments in our house, and in a few of the other's too.

My ex's behavior as a stay at home mom was the beginning of the end of our marriage. When I'd go on business trips, I'd call to talk to my kid every day. One call, he was probably 3 or 4 years old, he said, "Daddy when you come home can we have meat for dinner?" She was feeding him crap, frozen organic food, and whatever rabbit food she was eating, never cooked a thing for him (or me). Caused many arguments.

When I worked at home, even if I was still working, she'd send our kid into my office at 5PM every day, and she'd disappear. If we wanted to eat, I had to figure it out, my kid was always hungry, and if I took him out to eat, she'd bitch about it or expect to join us, I told her no, she should have gone grocery shopping and cooked instead of drinking wine with the ladies all afternoon!

We had countless arguments over her behavior, until I stopped giving a shit. I put up with it for awhile (maybe a year?) for the sake of our kid, but when she didn't even try that was the end for me. Thing deteriorated from there. We sold our house and planned to build a new one closer to the coast, when she left me and took our kid. Worked out great for me, eventually. I wish it happened earlier lol.

Non serviam.

locomotronn · 2019-05-26T21:30:14+00:00

“I’m not even 30 yet.”

Fuck mate. Best of luck to you

RedPilledSimp · 2019-05-26T21:50:28+00:00

My advice OP. Put the RP knowledge to the test and tell your parasite this: "Honey, I don't see you contribute enough our relationship. Hence forward you're responsible for the housekeeping, cooking and cleaning. Furthermore: no more shit testing and making a fool out of me in front of others. That's the deal and if you don't like it? There's the door and get your ass out of my sight." That did the trick for me. Got 1 angry look from my "SO" but she's playing ball hence forward and she's happily shining since. Because she knows I'm her Jackpot and not v.v. I'm pretty sure your pet is the same. Yes, you and I should have gone MGTOW but Red came too late for us. So the second best thing is to put her into her place in a harsh way.

tl;dr. Put her into her place OP. Hard. What have you got to lose?

Butwhohurtyou · 2019-05-26T21:52:02+00:00

I was basically you 4 years ago. Working myself to death to provide plus very early morning duties and evening duties. Hardly had a meal cooked. Oh and she wanted to employ a cleaner (she was a SAHM).

Then one day she suddenly declared she was too young to be a SAHM and wanted to be a business women and took our son and left one day while I was out at work.

It's like they're the kids playing dress up fantasy games until they get bored, then quickly switch and dress up as a new fantasy.

She never became a business women of course.

Maybe she is a pilot these days, or an acrobat in the Russian state circus. Who knows 🤡🤡🤡

I don't have any advice for you I'm afraid. Keep away from long drawn out court action and solicitors if shit hits the fan. You'll lose more than you'll win. Good luck.

anongogogo · 2019-05-26T20:41:50+00:00

Confirms what we already know. The 9-5 zombie. Still have to face a nagging irrational being at home.

soulmelt · 2019-05-26T20:03:36+00:00

Do you think your feelings will change once your kids are grown up and moved out

Alexius_von_Meinong · 2019-05-26T21:08:31+00:00

You know what's up. You sound like a smart, rational, hard-working guy. That means that you can play the long game. You can plan your exit carefully so that you retain as much of your assets as you can, and stay on the best terms you can with your children. Start planning now. Act quietly but steadily, and you can eventually put yourself in a position that you will no longer have to envy others.

TorontoMGTOW · 2019-05-26T20:56:49+00:00

Thanks for the warning. I'd encourage you to divorce her, but then she'd take the kids and they seem to give you joy.

CastandRefused · 2019-05-26T22:29:03+00:00

After being surrounded by men paying child support or alimony or seeing failing marriages, and being in about 6 bad relationships myself the answer is crystal clear. I will never have to worry about supporting a woman because it's never going to happen. I live for me, the family life will never appeal to me and if someone has a negative opinion on that I really couldn't care less.

Belrick_NZ · 2019-05-26T23:54:06+00:00

Quit your job immediately. Take a leave of absence, a mental health break. Call it what you will. There will always be other work if the company wont keep your job open to return to

Then put the onus on her to earn. Be a stay at home dad. Fuck the bills, fuck earning. That is now her issue. Keep the house clean and kids trained

If she divorces you get a shot at the kids and money and house, not just her.

dont tolerate this shit. And dont set yourself up to be divorce raped

themasculinemonk · 2019-05-26T21:05:24+00:00

Is it possible for you to reduce your lifestyle? Have a solid plan first such as saving a certain amount of money without your wife knowing then putting the house up for sale and start living in a smaller home or apartment. That would reduce your expenses and be able to save a lot more. Then have a career change that might pay less but give you more time with the kids. Or ask the higher ups if you can work from home if that’s even possible. Start implementing red pill tactics on your wife and start commanding her to make changes like clean, spend time with the child, be a fucking mother etc.

caem123 · 2019-05-26T22:16:05+00:00

Learn your state's family court laws. Texas has no alimony. Indiana is another.

Invduck77 · 2019-05-27T01:11:37+00:00

MGTOW is the right decision.

Batman_MGTOW · 2019-05-27T04:32:41+00:00

I was a mgtow by default from seeing my father go through similar stuff when I was a kid, except that my mother was doing a lot of the work but he was working hard and getting nagged for it, but he never nagged her because men dont do this crap. I also remember well a time where my father told me not to have children with a controlling woman who prevents you from having friends, in that moment, he was truthful, he knew what was going on and wasnt denying it. Now however, he would tell me that the sacrifice is worth it, that its honourable, that its the right thing to do, that single people are losers, and thats the real irony of the whole thing, I have never seen single men being miserable, but I have seen many married men who are, and in addition, I have seen most of my classmates' parents in elementary school getting divorced. Then I found out about mgtow and it only confirmed my suspicions, it confirmed to me what I was seeing around me and it showed me that I was living the dream already.

Helikzhan · 2019-05-27T02:24:09+00:00

It's stories like yours that will convince more men MGTOW is the answer. It can all look like it's the best life but any man who has had enough of it knows better. Some get out clean but many don't.

Seeing you're a lot younger than us I'll offer some advice. Use this time now to plan your exit. Don't piss and and moan over it in her presence. Definitely make sure your kids understand the problem. They will love her regardless as that's the bond between mom and kids. They don't need to blame you though. They can come out of this with the respect and knowledge that it was unworkable for you. It's not just their lives but yours as well.

If you don't plan this right and walk away angry she will do whatever she can to hurt you including using the kids as leverage. This is what you need to be prepared for.

When you have your affairs in order sit her down and explain to her next steps. Explain to her that things are critical and you are situated to leave. Many marriages go on for decades amicably though love long lost. Yours can if she changes. She got into this with the illusion that it would be easy and equitable in that "one-way feminism" way. You have to set her right but on your terms if you get my drift. Make it clear to her that whatever perception of bad she has right now gets a lot worse if it keeps going.

Deydrania · 2019-05-27T02:57:56+00:00

Why don't you stand up to her? She's just a woman. I'm not saying to abuse her, but stick up for yourself. You are the prize, not her. Restrict her benefits, make her clean, make her take care of the kids. You can make the changes. You just have to remember that you are the earner. She is nothing by a parasite.

nyctrashman69 · 2019-05-27T01:37:25+00:00

What do you do? Mid 6 as in half a mil? Get rid of the wife, hire nanny and maid. Find a better job.

kyledontcare · 2019-05-26T21:05:05+00:00

You must me be but in a different form.

ohjippy · 2019-05-27T02:05:54+00:00

If your so mad just leave your wife. You obviously love your children and don’t want to be separated from them but if your wife sucks the life outta you that bad just divorce her. Children will grow up better with two houses that have love then one where the parents can’t stand each other.

TeslaNicole · 2019-05-27T04:50:09+00:00

Howdy sir, even if your wife is not what she should be, love your kids and raise them well. You won't regret it man.

HuntingTeckel · 2019-05-27T05:37:17+00:00

Similar story, although I was only making about 70k a year. My wife quit her job and focused on the house. Then she stopped doing that. She did cook about half the time, but not without bitching. She stopped doing anything and would sit in front of the TV and eat. She gained about thirty pounds. Then she decided to punish me further by refusing to have sex with me. She even told me she preferred masturbating because it was less effort for her. Eventually I gave up and tried killing myself. She left, I lost my job because I couldn't deal with the loss and couldn't stop drinking. Couldn't afford to live in my house anymore. Last I heard from her she got a new car, a full time job (which she complained about), and she stole most of my pets when she left. It's like the more you do for them the less they respect you.

Noogisms · 2019-05-27T06:14:49+00:00

I will say a brotherly prayer for you, brother.

I am a blue collar electrician / single / no kids. I typically only work on million dollar houses... every time I "get to talking" with the breadwinner, He usually ends up telling me "how lucky" I am.

I absolutely agree. While I may not have the white pickets (nor the desire for them), I do okay financially; I always go above-and-beyond for breadwinners... particularly when I detect the wife is super lazy/childish!

It's incredible (just like the scene in American Beauty) how infrequently anybody expresses empathy towards Breadwinners. So I attempt to go "above and beyond" for you poor "envied" souls. I do not envy you (nor any of my clients).

PS I am a med school drop out — I feel like for my lifestyle (talented but only want to work 30 hours a week) that would have been a terrible fit. If I were working even 60 hours per week (on a regular basis) and my wife didn't cook me dinner (hypothetical) no amount of "for the kids" would save our marriage.

Maybe make her get a job? Even if it pays minimum wage, it'll get her out of the house and hopefully make her time with you less tedious. At this point, I'm sure she "feels like an employee" (which sounds like the child-rearing agreement ya'll agreed upon initially... she being "stay at home mommy.").

Pruny85 · 2019-05-27T06:32:50+00:00

put your money in crypto or trust, and then put her in place.

if she is just reading and not cheating your family still have a chance .

cubicautomorphism · 2019-05-27T14:12:44+00:00

Nah she's a good woman. The traditional man's dream.

bansheeman · 2019-05-27T19:27:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experiences for us to learn from

lildudefromXdastreet · 2019-05-26T23:48:39+00:00

Are you an investment banker? What job are you working where you work 14hrs a day?

XboxEgoManiac · 2019-05-26T23:56:33+00:00

Thanks for the warning. Even the men who seem to have it all in the eyes of everybody else, you don't really know what they are going through on the inside to maintain this quote on quote perfect life. Good luck man hope all works out for you.

2019-05-27T00:29:54+00:00

Hey man, I'll be honest with you because on mgtow we give each other the truth. Someone would have to be brain-dead to want to be in your position. You don't even know how fucked you are.

dontdoitbro44 · 2019-05-27T01:10:23+00:00

Hows the sex life?

Why not divorce?

KaitouNala · 2019-05-27T02:25:04+00:00

Saw some one down bellow or above w/e post about call her out on her shit and force her to do her fair share ect.

Start documenting on top of all that, there is a document out there something like "how to fire your wife" or something to that extent, put your foot down but be ready to "fire" her if she shouldn't fall in line.

So sorry you are in that position... society sold us all a huge lie... i just got lucky that i was too pathetic or maybe too short when i was younger and was not afforded the "opportunity" to trap myself as you have.

WearDoWeGoNow · 2019-05-27T04:20:21+00:00

A woman who disrespects you to that degree is almost certainly cheating on you.

Seriously consider a divorce. Even if she's not screwing the pool boy while you work those long hours, why stay in this miserable situation? Unlike many men, you make enough money that you can comfortably pay for the divorce and child support and still have a very nice life.

DWShimoda · 2019-05-27T04:26:38+00:00

I make mid 6 figures, have a beautiful house, a stay at home wife and 3 beautiful children. I work 14 hours a day Monday- Friday. I hate my life.

Is your name by any chance Stanley Johnson?

FalsePositiveRethink · 2019-05-27T20:34:45+00:00

Sorry to hear this. I hope it gets better for you.

W4T3V3R · 2019-05-27T07:11:38+00:00

is that you Wilson? :)

I envy you

Comments

Sex And The City.

Agreed yes, they* absolutely DO have "a drinking problem."

NO F'ing WAY! was I going to even RISK being a PART of bringing even ONE child (much less more than one) into a scenario like that, period.

Yup... THAT is exactly the kind of scenario I foresaw happening (some "I never REALLY wanted any kids..." etc.)

Historically men DID understand that.

aka "McMansions"

Is your name by any chance Stanley Johnson?

Title	I envy you
Author	dontdoitbro44
Upvotes	248
Comments	124
Date	May 26, 2019 7:01 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/btbpmw/i_envy_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/i-envy-you.459060 https://theredarchive.com/post/459060