I never thought I would end up where I am in my relationship with my wife. Her actions clearly show that she is completely unattracted to me and that I am being used for what I can provide to her and my child - despite her assurances that she values and appreciates me for who I am, what I provide, what I sacrifice, etc. Sex is dwindling, maybe twice a month, and there is rarely an act of passion from her. It is an act she participates in but is not necessarily present in. I understand this is called pity sex or obligation sex, and it is used to keep me strung along so I will continue to provide without complaint. Passion, lust, and sex decrease in marriage. Or so I'm told.

Anxiety, stress, and anger control more and more of my mental space nowadays and they are directed at her, but she isn't necessarily to blame. She is doing what women have done since the beginning of time. She is using her sexual strategy to provide for herself and her child. The blame falls squarely on me. I let her push boundaries and didn't hold fast when they were completely crossed. In these instances I actually provided more because I thought it would rein her back in and create more attraction. In reality, it incentivized her to push further and further, thereby killing more and more attraction when I refused to stand up and hold my ground.

The process was gradual and slow - almost imperceptible - one small, seemingly inconsequential concession at a time. However, over time, it created a landslide. The realization, when it truly hits you, is life shattering. You are not the man you thought you were, your wife is not the woman she says she is, your relationship is on the brink of disaster, and you are the only one to blame.