This is one of the lessons that really stuck out in NMMNG and seems to be one of the hardest to really learn, not glaze over, especially for myself over my first year.

I see both sides of the coin pop up on here and ASKMRP. Some guys hold fast to clearing their history, or switching accounts, putting the waffle house menu over their mouths when deciding on how to act around their wives next. Others don't get nervous when they hear the car pull in, or check their phones 11 times at the bar, and when they want to rub one out, they make sure their wife is on the receiving end. I want to be that second guy.

I understand the positive reasons for secrecy, a surprise trip for example. I also think the rule holds true, "You don't talk about Fight Club". Openly divulging that you actively seek out other men's experiences and knowledge to become a stronger man may take away from the mystery you are trying to create with a woman, your woman should think you have secrets. I think it should end there.

This research isn't secret, it's just none of her business. When my wife asked once where I heard about a book, I didn't lie, I just said it was a men's forum, had she asked more, it's none of her business.

How many of us choking the pill down still cower on a toilet seat to enjoy some private time, clear our website history, or turn down the volume when it's clearly not that loud, all with our wife in mind?

Escaping any sense of shame for what you do is a goal that is talked about but didn't really sink in until recently for me. This also helps make more of what I do truly productive.