I’m not much for evo-psych. I think it’s about as useful as measuring someone’s skull and guessing their favourite colour but it’s obvious to me that, for whatever reason, shit tests and their subsequent pass/failure are some of the most accurately described and consistently observable RP phenomena IRL.

Despite all that the zeitgeist of my current visit to this sub seems to be essentially not understanding the existence, cause, effect or remedies for shit tests at all.

I see comments ranging from:

“My girl wouldn’t respond to that”

“I said X but she said she didn’t like it”

To actual reeEEeeEEEing about ending up in jail… lol wtf?

Boys, boys, boys.

Calm the fuck down and listen to Professor Pee.

Shit tests come from an increase in attractiveness or anxiety.

If you randomly unzip and tell her to suck your dick, and you don’t normally do that, expect shit testing. BECAUSE it’s attractive. If you fuck up your hotel res, expect shit testing. BECAUSE it’s anxiety inducing. If you tell her to crawl to you and say she’s a dumb fucking whore but can she please suck your dick, expect shit testing. BECAUSE it’s attractive.

They can also be very subtle (credit u/sepean for introducing me to the idea of “subtle shit tests” in the bedroom):

Example:

I am picking up a girl from the airport. I even have roses for her. She doesn’t know that. She is aroused by the thought of seeing me again but anxious that I might not show.

She texts me she can’t wait to see me. I text her the eggplant emoji.

She texts me that she is on her way. I text her a photo of her knee cushion and that “everything is ready”.

She texts me her flight is on time. I ignore.

Silence until… she texts me she saw a cute dog and it reminded her of me.

I reply that seeing leashes always reminds me of my fucktoy.

She starts texting me about how horny she is.

Panties don’t just drop. They pause on the way down.

You are probably doing attractive shit all the time and qualifying yourself. You are even more likely to be doing unattractive things and apologising for them.

Forewarned is forearmed, so just plan accordingly until you have experienced that you will not die from passing a shit test, which will eventually cure you of your Learned Helplessness.

Am I saying she’ll always obey? No. Am I saying it’ll fix your hotel res? Well… also no but while there are no cheat codes in life, this is some pretty fucking low hanging fruit in terms of just being attractive.

This week I challenge you to put your self improvement on pause and maybe practice not being shit scared of your wife for a second.