How do I know if I should marry her?

WishMeLuck77 · 2024-06-20T16:29:29+00:00

You know, when you post this in askMRP you’re going to have a problem free life.

yongganddum · 2024-06-20T15:08:11+00:00

Lots of guy friends? Does that mean she’s regularly hanging out with them? Big red flag imo

ChrisBlue212 · 2024-06-20T19:23:36+00:00

🚩 “I have grown attached to her” “I love her but I am not in love with her” 🚩 “I don’t want to get married” 🚩 BPD 🚩 She pushed for a relationship and because the sex was incredible I went along with it.

No you should not marry her, not even for your sake, but for her’s. Be kind and set her free. If you can’t bring yourself to do that (presumably because the sex is too good and/or you feel attached) at least be up front with her that you have no intention to marry her and let her make her own decision with that information, at that point if she stays with you it’s on her (though if you love her and want what’s best for her maybe don’t let her make that decision).

As for how you know, you’ll know because you’ll be with someone who makes you want to marry them (not pressures you reluctantly into a relationship or marriage). It might not be burning red hot youthful infatuation, but you surely won’t be questioning it like you are now and won’t be saying stuff like you “feel attached” to her. You’ll feel like “I love this woman, I want to take care of her and protect her and wake up beside her everyday for the rest of my life and build a life together, and become one, I would give my life for her”.

MusicianFar1301 · 2024-06-20T15:02:00+00:00

If you live in a country with heavy divorce consequences for men and you aren’t “IN love” with her I would say don’t marry. Just continue as you guys are now

In my opinion, the only reason to get married in such a country is if you truly see yourself staying with her for 7 years or more. There are real consequences to marrying the wrong person.

Beyond the financial risk, only marry if you’re really excited about it. Not just because someone else wants you to

badgermonkeyIII · 2024-06-20T15:17:47+00:00

BPD - I guess you mean Borderline Personality Disorder?

This is a red flag - she's approaching the wall and wants a provider. You are the target.

BrokenHeartland · 2024-06-20T21:53:15+00:00

If you're saying she has BPD as in Borderline Personality Disorder you need to run.

Sounds to me like all the signs point to know if you're even asking these questions. Recipe for disaster. You're either gonna rip the bandaid off now or you're gonna be ripping gauze out piece by piece from a 3rd degree burn later.

At 27m without an ex wife and no kids you still have time in the dating pool before you get to mostly leftovers.

carterrockhouse · 2024-06-20T15:49:50+00:00

She is trying to "buy" you by being low maintenance. That's the female strategy. Trying to honey trap you with great sex and passion. Her end goal is marriage and to find a provider. Your needs or wants ultimately do not matter to her when she gets what she wants.

If she truly cared or respected you she wouldn't press the marriage issue so hard, she would just be happy to be with you.

Don't get married or wait it out for a couple of years to see her true colors

Gold-Ask2968 · 2024-06-20T17:44:05+00:00

Does the thought of spending the rest of your life with her make you happy?

Least-Host-5687 · 2024-06-20T20:39:34+00:00

Read your text again. And then you know it. Why would you even think about getting married with this description.

forever-nomor3 · 2024-06-20T15:51:47+00:00

But i feel that I don’t want to get married. I love her but I an not IN love with her.

Why the fuck did you even write this post then? Are you a pussy and have to have random folks on the internet make decisions for you?

oooKenshiooo · 2024-06-20T16:02:19+00:00

BPD is an absolute no-go for marriage.

Way too much risk.

Andolini77 · 2024-06-20T17:45:59+00:00

BPD is something i'd run from...get a simple, quiet girl from a good family who will enjoy being a mom. Latinas are great for that, particularly if their parents emigrated to the U.S. when the daughter was little. Even better if from humble beginnings. And you can do this now, or in 15 years.

mcmgainz · 2024-06-20T21:22:52+00:00

BPD? Run for your life bro before this woman tries to ruin you.

learningABC123 · 2024-06-20T16:23:55+00:00

Did you say BPD?

Sharp_Platform8958 · 2024-06-20T16:46:37+00:00

If it isn't an enthusiastic 'Hell Yes' then it's a no. Don't commit to something that life changing if you have any doubt.

No-Comfortable8536 · 2024-06-20T16:55:48+00:00

Marry :). Rare to get good sexual compatibility. Plus she cares for you. Rest of the things don’t matter so much.

FarmerDad1976 · 2024-06-20T17:08:26+00:00

This is better in AskMRP
If you're unsure now, heaven help you in a decade or three
What exactly are the benefits of marriage for you (or men in general)? Unless you're really, really, really clear about what those are, and are absolutely certain that you're not just considering this because of societal/family expectations, why would you give away half your worldly possessions to someone you're somewhat ambivalent about?

El0vution · 2024-06-20T17:39:02+00:00

Just know that when you’re 40 you’ll be bagging even more women than you are, and younger ones than your 28 year old

systematicprecision · 2024-06-20T18:21:46+00:00

Don’t marry anyone till you feel like you’re IN love with them.

BecomingABetterMan1 · 2024-06-20T18:29:49+00:00

Why do you need to marry her instead of keeping her as an LTR? What do you gain from doing this?

QueenScarebear · 2024-06-20T19:26:16+00:00

You don’t love her - so don’t marry her.

Particular-Jello3875 · 2024-06-20T19:35:31+00:00

You dont love her....thats your answer. Please be kind and let her go find someone that wants to marry her for love.

ahg1008 · 2024-06-20T20:34:13+00:00

No. Run away. There are enough red flags my man. Mark my words you will regret this 5 years down the road.

crads77 · 2024-06-20T20:52:11+00:00

I think you’d know if it’s even a half decent option. If you don’t.. there’s your answer.

MostSolidFrame · 2024-06-20T22:39:50+00:00

Why marry someone older? In 13 years she will be post-wall and you will be in your prime. I’d suggest focusing on your own health, career, and happiness

OA12T2 · 2024-06-20T23:09:23+00:00

Ok idiot you just said you’re not IN love with her. Case closed. But no let’s add on BPD…. Wake up amigo spin more plates

Striking-Trainer8148 · 2024-06-21T00:34:01+00:00

If she has “real” BPD she’s lying about the body count at 27.

Title	How do I know if I should marry her?
Author	undisclosedpain
Upvotes	3
Comments	36
Date	June 20, 2024 2:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/1dkdj4n/how_do_i_know_if_i_should_marry_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/how-do-i-know-if-i-should-marry-her.1522146 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522146

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