I have lurked the proverbial shit out of this sub, as well as thredpill sub for the last year. You name it, I've read it. The decline of my marriage pushed me to seek help, and I discovered RP theory as a Captain on a marital ship flooding with water. I tried to plug the holes and get back on course, but it was too late. In short, I discovered that deep down I didn't want to save the ship and wanted to swim to shore.

My wife and I decided to divorce today. What led to this event is a long series of failures on my part to be a leader in the marriage, but also some pretty significant failures on her part to be loyal and trustworthy.

I guess what I'm looking for from you guys is confirmation that I did the right thing. Whatever you say won't change my decision, and you don't owe me shit as I clearly haven't contributed to this sub other than to be a sponge of information, but I could use some support right now as I am in a very dark place mentally.

I won't go on a rambling history of my marriage, but will sum it up to make it simple.

I am 31 years old (wife is 30). We have been together since college (age 21) and married for 5 years. We have no children, no shared assets, and she is definitely not going to divorce rape me. I'm sure you'll cite AWALT but I disagree, some (rarely) women will walk away from a divorce not wanting cash and prizes. She is an "independent womyn", which is a major reason I'm leaving her, but truly she has always paid her 50% of expenses and lives extremely frugally.

We get along great, have done a ton of world traveling together, but in short she approached the wall and went a bit nuts, and I failed to lead the relationship at its most critical point. She doesn't know if she wants to have kids (reading btw the lines, that means "with me she doesn't"...), doesn't want to live in the US but instead wants to travel the world volunteering with no concrete plans to ever return home (a deal breaker for me as I am very achievement-oriented and want to start a new career in the US). She also has been hiding an emotional affair from me with a guy in a foreign country, which was probably physical at some point. We haven't fucked in a year but fool around a little bit, like a couple of fucking high schoolers. I guess she's saving herself for him (yes, I'm clearly bitter).

I'm a very fit, 6'1" 180 lb. (train in muay thai and lifting), good looking guy with a successful career, lots of friends, a great sense of humor, etc. but I think she perceives her SMV to be 1 point higher although I'd bet we're equal. She wants to branch swing but is scared to make the leap. I've been too much of a pussy to call her out on her dishonesty and instead went the route of maintaining frame, playing aloof, attempting the levels of Dread as far as I could, etc. Still can't turn it around after a year of very focused effort. I'm fucking exhausted at my failure and I am finally throwing in the towel. We're overseas on a long term backpacking trip and I just booked my flight home without her. She's going to continue world traveling and will likely swing on to that foreign branch she has lined up. AWALT, even my unicorn.

So it's a no brainer that I should get divorced. No divorce rape, no kids, etc., and all I have to do is fly home to the land of freedom, face announcing it to my family/friends then rebuild my life. I'm even stoked on that in a lot of ways (ready to bang new women for the first time in a decade, move to a new city, get a fresh start, etc.) But I feel fucking horrible right now, as I share a lot of history with this girl and still haven't fully slain the cancerous tumor that is Oneitis. I struggle to let my normally rational self override my emotions. I'm beginning to mourn the death of our relationship and our future, so I understand how I feel is probably healthy.

Are there any divorced guys who have been down this path that can offer some advice on how to get my mind right? I just sobbed like a bitch into a hotel pillow, now I'm going to angrily lift weights and prepare to announce my divorce to family.

Thank you in advance.