Answer: your confidence should be based on... your confidence.

Or put another way, your confidence should be based on a belief in your innate wholistic superiority over all other people capacity to accomplish anything you want and in your right and ability to demonstrate that at any time you wish.

Now sure, you can't fool yourself completely--you're not blind. You can clearly see that other men are bigger than you, have better physiques than you, have more education than you, have more money than you, etc.

But what, on any given occasion, can you guarantee, if you want to, that no other man will have more of than you?

Confidence. Irrational confidence. Unshakable confidence. Narcissistic God-like confidence.

And what does that sound like, in your head?

We've all heard it on the playground growing up. We probably all have said it at one time or another as kids. It sounds like this:

"That motherfucker isn't ACTUALLY better than me. Not really. Not innately. The only reason he's better than me at basketball, or math, or telling jokes, or anything really, is because he's spent more time on it than I have. If I spent as much time as he did on that, or had the resources he has I'd be twice as good at it as he is. Or maybe it's because he's older than me, or bigger than me. But I'll get older. And I'll get bigger. But if he's always bigger than me so what? I can always find a way to make up the difference in other ways. Nobody is better than me innately. Innately, I'm God's gift to the fucking gene pool. I'm the greatest genetic concoction there ever was, and I'm always the best man for the job, and I can always get the prettiest girl(s), or the best job(s) whatever I set my heart upon, nothing and nobody will ever be able to keep me from getting it. No matter what it is. Period."

That's a beautiful fucking delusion, fellas. That's frame right there. That's confidence. Juicy, sweet, panty soaking confidence.

THAT'S what women can smell from a mile away. As well as its opposite.

Should you lift? Of course you should. Lifting feels fucking awesome and it's a fun-ass hobby. By that same token, you should probably play soccer, or rugby, or basketball, or fucking frisbee football if that's your jam.

But should your confidence be based on how much you can lift, how pretty your face is, how big your muscles are, or how fast you can run? Hell no. Weak foundation. You'll crumble the moment you see someone bigger, stronger, or more handsome (and there will always be someone).

You'll get all nervous when you see him, avert your gaze when he looks at you, like a chimp does, and acquiesce your bench ("Yeah man that was my last set go ahead!"), or the girl you've been gaming the moment he looks at either of them.

But if your confidence is based on your confidence, on your belief in your innate wholistic superiority to all other human beings, then why would any of that ever cross your mind?

You're the king. That big ass motherfucker can be your friend if he's cool, can come to your parties if he behaves, can be your bodyguard if he wants, but he's not taking your bench until you're ACTUALLY done, and if he's getting that girl, it'll be once you're fucking done with her as well.

The game is played in the mind, not in the mirror.

Let other men be bigger, faster, stronger, richer, funnier, etc. And sure, feel free to lift, to read, to put your heart into your career, to work on all those things. Nothing wrong with that. You gotta do SOMETHING in this life just to keep from boredom, right? Might as well do that shit. It's rewarding. It's fun. It makes for easy conversation. Go right ahead.

But don't base your confidence on them. That's a sandy foundation that's guaranteed to let you down.

Women aren't attracted to you because of those things, they're attracted to the confidence you have because of those things. It's the confidence they're after. It's confidence, or the lack thereof, and everything you do from that frame of mind, that sets the moisture dial in their panties.

But this is why there are a million posts throughout the manosphere talking about "situational alpha-ness." There's only situational alpha-ness because so many "alphas" aren't really alphas. They're not convinced of their innate superiority.

They're only confident because they're the biggest guy in THAT room. Or because they're the richest guy in THAT room. Or because they're the funniest guy in THAT room. And the moment someone walks in who beats them in that particular category, they shrink.

But the irrationally confident. The narcissist. The guy who just knows he not only belongs everywhere he goes, but that he should probably be in charge everywhere he goes too (yet doesn't mind letting others take the wheel if they really want to), that guy exudes alpha-ness in all situations.

He isn't threatened by people who surpass him in individual categories. He doesn't shrink in their presence. He doesn't fear them. He sees them as friends. As members of his army, his tribe, his team, his own body. He opens up and receives them as his guests, as family, and lavishes them with praise, calls attention to them and forces them into the spotlight, and by shining it on others he keeps hold of it. He sees the whole human race this way, and thus, is completely without enemies and all are drawn to him.

That's a God-like frame.

Embrace that mindset and you can do no wrong. Tap into that, and there's nothing else you need to learn.

*edit - upon further consideration thanks to thoughts by other posters, I made a change to a couple lines (but left the previous versions so the conversations we had below still make sense to newcomers). Also, I accidentally clicked on "hide" and the post disappeared for a moment. Didn't realize that was a thing.