Coming to realizations.

xVarekai · 2011-05-19T03:06:20+00:00

As a woman in support of men's rights, I hate the fact that the crazy feminists and women who support them have turned men almost completely against women in general. I think it's really the worst outcome of all this mess--both sexes completely unable to tolerate each other. I can understand why you'd feel apprehensive or even completely opposed to actively seeking a female partner, but keep an open mind. Not all of us are crazy. My suggestion: Date for a looooooong time before you commit to an engagement, moving in together or doing anything that requires both of you to agree to a contract, like buying a house. The crazy will surface eventually if it's there. And if not, you have time to build trust. Trust me, if she's going to go batshit, she will do it early on. Women have a hard time pretending to be sane if they aren't. :)

FascistOrigami · 2011-05-18T22:07:29+00:00

Chiming in as a gay man here. Lurking here for the past few months has made me realize that in some ways I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with this kind of thing. I really feel bad for men who have to go through this shit.

kragshot · 2011-05-18T22:39:55+00:00

Dude, I post on here a lot because I have been a victim of some of the male-centric injustices. Marriage-related issues however, has not been one of them (knock on wood). I've been married for 17 years to a very understanding and loving woman. She is a firm believer in gender equity, but she is not a "feminist," and openly refuses to identify as one because of she has seen the injustices against men that mainstream women have supported in the name of "feminism."

The key to a good relationship is open communication and that includes communication on what each of you expect and want out of the relationship. There are reasonable women out there; you just have to be diligent in not settling for anything less than what you expect in a partner.

The point I feel in reading the info on this reddit is not to scare you off of dealing with women, but to educate you in the realities in modern day relationships. If you can take the knowledge you gain here and arm and armor yourself with that knowledge while you look for a partner, you'll be better equipped to see the warning signs to avoid the malicious women, point the confused ones in the right direction, and be able to pick out the good ones when they come on your radar.

Knowledge is power. Right now, you know more about the world than 95% of the men on the internet. What you do with that knowledge is up to you; and there are avenues available to you. You can go the MGTOW route and swear off of women nearly altogether. You can go the expatriate husband route and swear off of American/Western women, or you can declare yourself an "AFC (average frustrated chump)" and learn "game" via the PUA (pick-up artist) route. Finally, you can just declare yourself an "enlightened man (like myself)" and use what you've learned as a tool to do as I said in the previous paragraph.

The choice, old son...is yours.

Magres · 2011-05-19T00:10:36+00:00

I don't think I'll ever lose hope, personally. I've had bad brushes with girlfriends, but I always look to my parents for inspiration in this kind of things. They're both ~60 and have been married for 35 years

pipsqeek · 2011-05-18T21:24:22+00:00

I think it is worth it to have a girlfriend, but you can't let her walk all over you.

I agree about the wife though. Getting married as a man is legal suicide.

kabab2 · 2011-05-19T05:56:14+00:00

Unfortunatly marriage contracts are very outdated and assume that one member of the party is weaker than the other. At the time of the creation of the laws this reflected the current state of society, however, obviously times have changed and the parties are more or less equal. Subsequently, one member of the party is being screwed by the assumption of a economic power imbalance. Currently, OP, all one can do as a member of the male sex is to understanding the laws or your country/province/state and make sure that you have precidence to show when you need to prove your arguements.

Dont lose hopes good sir, 80/20 rule, 20% of people cause 80% of your problems. Only a few people are shit bags, refuse to deal with the shit bags and cultivate love with the other 80%.

kabab2 · 2011-05-19T06:07:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BinaryShadow · 2011-05-19T04:08:54+00:00

This is the way I see the family courts:

Imagine giving every woman a loaded gun that she has to point at you at all times. This gun will take everything that you've worked for (hopes, dreams, life savings, house, kids) away from you should she pull the trigger. Some women would be horrified at the thought of using the gun, but they are still given it. Some women love the power of the gun and threaten you with it constantly. Other women don't even acknowledge the gun until things get just a little bad then pull the trigger.

It's not that women are bad. It's that all the power of a divorce goes to them and you're at their mercy.

CaptXtreme · 2011-05-18T22:00:26+00:00

Getting married is a fine thing, just don't feel like you have to do it at all and definitely don't do it with someone you aren't positive that you know and can trust. People are easily blinded by passion, but don't let a sober understanding of reality prevent you from being able to have an adult relationship should the situation arise.

It's like watching the news, seeing all the horrible stories about war, crime, politics, poverty, etc. and thinking the world is in terrible shape. No, it's just not spotless. You don't hear about the stories of good things happening often because they're common and boring. You're just not going to see stories about couples happily married for decades on /mensrights because there's no reason for them to be in here.

Shattershift · 2011-05-18T22:23:35+00:00

Pre-nup before marriage is a necessity I think.

InfinitelyThirsting · 2011-05-19T14:28:20+00:00

Confirmation bias. You don't often hear from the happy people. If you spend much time in women's forums, you might get the wrong idea that a woman having a boyfriend or husband is a bad idea, because he'll inevitably abuse and/or rape her, and cheat on her to boot.

Just be careful. Screen. Know your local divorce laws (there ARE a few places, even in the US, where the laws aren't slanted to the woman nor are they used that way, like New Hampshire). And know a bit about statistics. If you're college-educated and wait until after at least 26 to get married, you have an 81% chance to still be married after twenty years, instead of the half-and-half odds if you're younger.

ShakeyBobWillis · 2011-05-19T03:04:46+00:00

Awww. Another boy ruined by jaded men who've been fucked over by women in their lives.

Title	Coming to realizations.
Author	ryuh90
Upvotes	13
Comments	103
Date	May 18, 2011 9:10 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/heii1/coming_to_realizations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/coming-to-realizations.1039726 https://theredarchive.com/post/1039726

Comments