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[–][deleted] 40 points41 points42 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Despite all data, feminists like NOW will never stop the lie that primary custody for mom and visitation for dad is "what's best for the children".
It's hard to blame them, losing your kids is a tradgedy. But better men than women, right? They won't even entertain shared custody. Dads getting anything more than every-other weekend is apparently misogyny and sexist oppression against women.
[–]SantaOrange 17 points18 points19 points 9 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm pretty sure recent studies have shown that shared parenting even helps the mother. So NOW's position is harmful to all parties: the father, the mother, and especially the children. Their stance seems to be rooted in nothing more than a desire to harm fathers. Mothers and children and the health of society as a whole are collateral damage in the feminist crusade.
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely correct. The latest research clearly shows that children in shared custody arrangements are better adjusted with fewer behavioral problems and developmental delays.
Continuing to push the "primary caregiver" setup is either ignorant or malicious, and I think we all know which.
[–]SantaOrange 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't forget the lawyers who profit off broken families. Those people are real sweethearts.
[–]DevilishRogue -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The latest research clearly shows that children in shared custody arrangements are better adjusted with fewer behavioral problems and developmental delays.
If you could post a link to that I'd be most appreciative. I can't tell you the amount of times my lack of being able to cite evidence for this has held me back from convincing people.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A little old: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/275574117_Fifty_moves_a_year_Is_there_an_association_between_joint_physical_custody_and_psychosomatic_problems_in_children
Recent meta analysis: https://www.statnews.com/2017/05/26/divorce-shared-parenting-children-health/
[–]the_unseen_one 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
feminists like NOW will never stop the lie that primary custody for mom and visitation for dad is "what's best for the children".
While simultaneously lying and saying that patriarchal assumptions about women's gender roles is the sole reason that men have their children taken from them. After all, feminists support equal custody everyone!
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes, they want to have their cake and eat it too.
Adele Guadalupe, a spokeswoman for NOW, said that giving 50% custody to fathers "goes against nature" while protesting a joint custody bill in Florida.
Interesting how the largest feminist organization in the US is so eager to perpetuate their evil "patriarchy" when it gives them the upper hand...
[–]SantaOrange 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"goes against nature"
She may want to read an introductory anthropology textbook.
[–]splodgenessabounds 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I doubt that would go down well. After all, science is misogynist doncha know.
[–]the_unseen_one 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The cognitive dissonance feminists are capable is amazing. MRM may be a lot of things, but it usually never tolerates pushing two inherently counter ideals.
But wait dude, what about all the "good" feminists here on Reddit that hate that kind of legislation! Clearly that negates the NOW fighting basic equality tooth and nail.
[–]hottake_toothache 13 points14 points15 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Could we get specific links to these sources?
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Could we also get sources that aren't 20 years old? Don't get me wrong I trust them but that will be the first point brought up.
[–]DevilishRogue 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unless later research has shown otherwise then old research should still be fine. Feminists still cling to Mary Koss' work and that was several decades ago.
[–]ScorpioBlaze1920 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope more people see this post. Children don't need to suffer because of the sexist justice system and it's biases towards giving the mother custody. It messes up the kid, and it's legitimately not fair to the father who probably just wants to see his kids. They need more than one parent in their lives to balance their upbringing, and fathers are just as crucial as mothers.
[–]littlegreenrock 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Am I bad that my first thought was: wow, these single mums must have been really fucked up. ?
[–]SantaOrange 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
There is very little a single mother can do to offset the absence of a father. Men are crucial to child-rearing. All the studies prove it. Sucks for lesbians but that's life. Best interests of the child and all that.
[–]ThatNinaGAL 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Actually, gay and lesbian parents do just fine. Probably because they tend to become parents in a well planned fashion and have opposite-sex role models involved in their children's lives.
[–]SantaOrange 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well that's good to hear. Sincerely.
[–]Halafax 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's a mixed bag. Having 2 people to depend on is certainly better than having one. It's fairly easy to get overwhelmed as a working single parent.
I'm a full time single father. I go out of my way to help my daughter get time with female roles models, but there are a lot of things that don't get attention simply because I have a different skill set and focus.
[–]ThatNinaGAL 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The difference between single parenting and partnered gay parenting - heck, ANY form of partnered parenting - is vast. You have a really tough job and I wish you the best.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The majority of research shows that two are better than one. I don't think the parents' gender affects outcomes that much (if at all).
I'd be interested in looking at custody arrangements for divorced gay and lesbian couples. I wonder if they are any different than outcomes for hetero couples... I'm willing to bet there are far more shared custody arrangements.
[–]DevilishRogue 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think the parents' gender affects outcomes that much (if at all).
Denying a child a mother and father when their peers mostly have a mother and father has consequences as many gay parents have found out to their cost. You can be the best gay parents in the world and you still can't provide the experience of two parents of differing sexes, even if you can provide a better home environment, more opportunities, etc.
I'd imagine that is a real can of worms and a lot of researchers don't want to look into the subject for fear of finding anything controversial and the effect that such a finding would have on their career.
[–]Demonspawn 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It does. Check out the NIS-3 (you'll have to order a copy for free online) which showed that single mother households had 3x the abuse of single father or dual parent households (which had similar abuse rates).
The greatest laugh I've ever had is when feminists declared fathers useless or interchangeable.... just to have the end result of demonstrating that it is mothers who are much less important to the proper upbringing of a child.
[–]ThatNinaGAL 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You're not "bad," but that's certainly not the whole picture. There is a weird narrative in the MRM where women tend to be given 100% of the blame when their kids don't have their dad around - either they forced him out, or should have known better than to select a mate who would walk out. Those stereotypes certainly hold true in some cases, but I work with population under discussion here, and what I have learned to assume is that when the kid is fucked up, my investigation into the situation will yield TWO fucked-up parents.
[–]DevilishRogue 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Women still have the right to choose who they have a child with. If the guy is a fuck up they can take the morning after pill, abort or have a multitude of other options from adoption to safe haven that men don't to protect their child from their own bad decisions.
Unfortunately, part of being a total fuckup yourself is the inability to recognize fuckupery in others. And even complete non-fuckups can make a serious error in mate selection that doesn't manifest itself until well past the time when abortion or adoption are feasible.
[–]Rex9 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The numbers are a lot strong to just be two fucked up parents. I'm sure that probably a not insignificant percentage are from that kind of situation. It would be interesting if there were some kind of data showing it.
[–]Blutarg 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't say you're bad, just that raising children is hard and two parents are better than one. Just like I'd rather have two firemen carry me out of a burning building than one.
[–]Ginrob 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm also stuck on thinking how many of those children in the statistics are male...
[–]rg57 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How do these stats compare against motherless homes?
I suspect this is being made into a sexed issue, when it's really about quantity... single-parent vs two-parent.
[–]star_wars_lego[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hopefully someone can answer you, but I would tend to agree. The post is more in defense of fathers than an attack on mothers.
[–]double-happiness 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I read that parents of children from non-single-parent families will discourage their children from playing with children from single-parent families, because they perceive children from single-parent families as more aggressive.
[–]Halafax 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't know about "more aggressive", but there are certainly issues.
There is a pretty fair chance my daughter will never get to host a sleep over. I've explained why some people might have an issue with the situations, and told her it's ok to ask but take the answer in stride. It's not fair to her, but that's life.
A more common issue is just the expectations that I can't meet. I can't watch my kids and go run errands at the same time. 2 parent families can manage a lot of things that I can't. Men and women often socialize differently, there is knowledge that isn't getting passed because I don't possesses it.
Some families do look at you with suspicion, but they tend to be the ones with sticks up their asses. No great loss there.
[–]dukunt 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I got into a minor arguement with a feminist online. The link is below. I sure could of used this to back up my arguments. Great post!
http://m.imgur.com/account/LanScifiMonster/images/aUOYQLh http://m.imgur.com/account/LanScifiMonster/images/22iXfwS
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[–][deleted] 40 points41 points42 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]SantaOrange 17 points18 points19 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SantaOrange 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_unseen_one 13 points14 points15 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SantaOrange 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]splodgenessabounds 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_unseen_one 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hottake_toothache 13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ScorpioBlaze1920 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]littlegreenrock 9 points10 points11 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]SantaOrange 9 points10 points11 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThatNinaGAL 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SantaOrange 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Halafax 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ThatNinaGAL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Demonspawn 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThatNinaGAL 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ThatNinaGAL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Rex9 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blutarg 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ginrob 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rg57 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]star_wars_lego[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]double-happiness 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Halafax 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dukunt 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link