Female infidelity is not the same things as cuckolding

OThomson · 2011-07-14T20:29:38+00:00

No worries, just Marcotte being inflamatory again.

jmnzz · 2011-07-14T20:32:38+00:00

That woman is so fucking stupid...

FascistOrigami · 2011-07-14T22:51:57+00:00

This comment by Aavagadrro makes it clear how the state punishes cuckolds, first by stealing their money, then by breaking the non-genetically-based emotional bonds that Schwyzer is so busy promoting:

My ex cheated, I now have a daughter taller than I am who looks nothing like me, and I am on the hook for support for 5 more years. She wants to come live with me but her mother wants a paternity test now after 14 years, because if I am not the biological father I cant have custody, but I still have to pay the support. Its about the gravy train with that woman, not what the kid wants, nor what is best for the kid, and sure as hell not about me being part of my kid's lives.

OThomson · 2011-07-14T20:37:44+00:00

Isn't cuckolding when a woman raises a child and tells the father it is his, even though it's not?

FascistOrigami · 2011-07-14T22:43:51+00:00

The term “cuckold” is a very old term for a man who unknowingly raises another guy’s biological children, thanks to an unfaithful wife. (See the wiki.) It’s not an accurate term to use in my [Schwyzer's] scenario, but the fact that this is such a profound fear for some men is worth exploring.

How is it not accurate in Schwyzer's situation? Oh, because the mother was not an unfaithful wife, she was merely an unmarried skank. However, my reading of the situation was that Ted was still being deceived. What an irresponsible prick (Schwyzer).

rantgrrl · 2011-07-15T04:35:45+00:00

Welp.

Feminists are creating a world in which most men are like hugo. They run from their responsibilities and try to pin them on other men. They believe self serving rhetoric as long as it absolves them of any responsibility.

Enjoy a future world in which men have no bond to their offspring! I eagerly await the utopia this will bring as every child is brought up father deficient.

Eogan · 2011-07-14T21:20:32+00:00

She is a pathological liar.

cooj · 2011-07-14T22:47:45+00:00

I've never been raped, so I can't compare that situation with being cheated on by a woman, but I can say from experience that being cheated on by a woman you love is one of the worst things that can ever happen to you. My (now ex) wife cheated on me for about a year with her boss before I found out, and showed no remorse upon discovery (or to this day, for that matter). Her boss was married with three kids, too. I think that (generally) people underestimate or even discount the psychological scarring associated with infidelity.

I don't mean to imply that being the victim of infidelity is anything like rape, just that it's nothing to scoff at (the implication of her tweet is that MRA's are being whiny by making that sort of comparison).

I don't want to get into a big thing here, but men and women experience being cheated on differently. It's emasculating for a man. The feelings of inadequacy are tremendous. Generally, men pursue women for sex, so when your wife leaves the confines of a marriage and risks everything to get something that you would readily give her any time of day, it makes the betrayal seem more personal. I think women have an easier time writing off men as "dogs" who just want sex at all costs and are willing to take risks to get it. When a woman goes outside the marriage, the implication is that there is a deficiency with her husband. My (now ex) wife's friends had no trouble blaming me for my perceived shortcomings. If I had cheated on my wife, I can't imagine any of my friends allowing me to rationalize that behavior on the basis of my wife's shortcomings. I was diagnosed with severe PTSD after discovery and I took medication for about two years to deal with it. I have been dating an amazing and trustworthy woman for about 8 months (relationship started almost five years after discovery), and I still wake up in the middle of the night two or three times a week with uncontrollable anxiety (basically I wake up with an unshakable feeling that my current girlfriend doesn't love me, is sleeping around, is dissatisfied with me, etc, and it usually results in crying and a general feeling of panic that is very visceral). I only identified these sorts of episodes as anxiety a few months ago (about two years after they started happening... they haven't always been related directly to the girl I'm dating now). I've been able to mask it well with previous girlfriends, but I have debilitating trust issues. Only my current girlfriend has shown me the patience and understanding with those sorts of issues that I think are moving me in the right direction (previous girlfriends would write it off as insecurity).

So here I am, years after discovery, experiencing debilitating psychological problems that have hampered my ability to be in fulfilling relationships. I can't imagine what it's like to be raped, and I'm sure my feelings don't compare, but it makes me VIOLENTLY ANGRY when anyone downplays the effects of infidelity on the victim.

Men, don't fucking cheat on your wives. If you're doing it now, stop. If you're thinking about doing it, don't. It's fucking selfish and it shows lack of personal boundaries, maturity, and restraint. There is NEVER an excuse for infidelity. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. Am I fucking clear? NEVER. I think this is one of the most important things men can do to rewrite our own sociological story. Our fathers and their fathers wrote one story, let's write another. Let's write a story about men who suddenly found it important and useful to honor their commitments and take responsibility for their actions.

wolfsktaag · 2011-07-15T00:24:13+00:00

probably due to the ambiguous word. ive heard it used more in reference to cheating in a marriage than paternity fraud

mensrightactivist · 2011-07-15T01:03:20+00:00

If cuckolding happens when a woman cheats on a man, what do you call it when a man cheats on a woman?

Whisper · 2011-07-14T21:26:00+00:00

Female infidelity is not the same as paternity fraud. Don't know what the hell "cuckolding" is supposed to mean.

NiceIce · 2011-07-14T23:54:14+00:00

Amanda Marcotte linking to Hugo Schwyzer. What an appropriate combo. Ugh.

helo1588 · 2011-07-14T22:43:21+00:00

Strawman arguments are fun for the whole family...

Title	Female infidelity is not the same things as cuckolding
Author	meninist
Upvotes	6
Comments	32
Date	July 14, 2011 8:24 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ipree/female_infidelity_is_not_the_same_things_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/female-infidelity-is-not-the-same-things-as.1037299 https://theredarchive.com/post/1037299

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