Femtrapment

goodmod · 2018-08-22T03:31:17+00:00

I've stickied this because there are two distinct discussions which should happen:

Whether this is a good word to use
Whether we should use such words at all

majortom22 · 2018-08-22T05:08:08+00:00

This happened to me. Girl turned into a nightmare

The kind that giggles and smiles as she burns your life cause she knows she can.

I still remember her telling me "I fucked you over. Sorry."

It ended up "working out" in the end somehow but it genuinely changed me. She still writes me letters sometimes and when I get home late at night I sometimes fear (lightly, in the back of my mind) that she'll be standing there just waiting.

Yes. Its very real.

Moonvie · 2018-08-22T05:31:03+00:00

No, we shouldn't use words like these. Weaponizing language in this way only causes it to become more divisive. It serves no positive purpose. Let the feminists create and use their words so the world may see how hateful they are. Nobody else should fall into the same trap. It might seem clever at first, but you're only digging your own grave.

For example whenever I see someone seriously use words like mansplaining or manspreading I usually immediately just skip the rest of the post. Same goes for most of the buzzwords that come from tumblr, feminists or social media and there's quite a few of them.

NAWALT_VADER · 2018-08-23T03:07:02+00:00

Femtrapment seems like a reasonably legitimate word, as much as any other passive-aggressive needlessly-gendered term can be, I guess.

It happened to my older brother. His girlfriend purposefully poked holes in his condoms and also went off the pill without telling him, so that she could get pregnant in the hopes of ensuring that lifelong commitment. My mom even helped the girlfriend, going against her son, by keeping this information from him and convincing him to 'do the right thing'. Their daughter recently turned 18, and they are still together. The wife and daughter are both happy. My brother is still trying to be the 'good guy'.

I imagine that sort of thing happens quite often.

TheImpossible1 · 2018-08-22T15:38:50+00:00

It's just called trapping.

We need to make it a crime.

hosford42 · 2018-08-21T20:28:59+00:00

While I appreciate this as satire, I worry that people will take it seriously, which would result in escalation rather than de-escalation. The best outcome for everyone in the long term is to stop the pendulum from swinging, rather than shoving it back the other direction.

thesniffingratty · 2018-08-23T03:40:36+00:00

I suggest using two terms: conception fraud and child custody control abuse.

This is such a basic part of the dynamic in US, even if the women doesn’t leave she and her partner both know that she has the power and this effects the relationship allowing men to be treated like crap.

I’m sure there are angels out there, but really who has t experienced this- before kids she treats you like gold, after kids she takes you for granted, even if she didn’t femtrap you, it’s still a similar dynamic, you didn’t expect things to change, but now your trapped and she has the power and control.

What is really at play is abuse, the real thing, not “abuse” like “we were fighting and she threw a pan at me.” The trademark of abuse is control, the abuser has control over the abused and is exerting their power continually. If the abused is not coerced in some way, they aren’t abused, if they keep going back when they don’t have to it’s not abuse.

The term for this more general concept should be something like legal relationship coercion, or court ordered abuse or something.

Femtrapment is the specific act of fraud during conception, a better term would be conception fraud, or birth control fraud (though the latter would be like telling her you are trying to get pregnant when you have a vissectomy, I always thought that would be an easy way to get laid so many women have asked me to impregnate them and only wanted sex if that was the goal, but I digress)

So I suggest separating the two terms to conception fraud, and custody control abuse.

This is more specific, and also not gender specific, which is good because there are some cases in which a man could do this (though much less common) and if the woman is religious she may not have the abortion option, and adoption I may be too emotionally difficult to be a realistic option, and the man may is rare cases be able to obtain custody and child support.

bhavv · 2018-08-23T01:55:25+00:00

It's literally rape, but won't ever get defined as such.

DignifiedAlpaca · 2018-08-22T05:12:36+00:00

I can maybe understand having gendered words ready if you are in an argument with someone who is anti-male and want to use these kinds of terms just to satirically counter the male-gendered terms they are using, but of course that follows the same line of thinking as "ironic misandry" and other forms of "satire" that end up giving more ammunition to the actual bigots.

2018-08-22T10:37:44+00:00

It happened to a coworker.

They use mansplaining.

MemesAndLeague · 2018-08-23T12:46:05+00:00

I don't think we should be like the feminists and make up new words like mansplaining. It makes our movement as ridiculous as the feminist movement imo

jonlojoie · 2018-08-22T03:33:45+00:00

Good shit man good shit.

1up_for_life · 2018-08-22T20:45:33+00:00

This is not something exclusive to women, treating it as such is counter productive.

omegaphallic · 2018-08-22T13:49:08+00:00

I think it's better to keep the definition tight and concise them overly broad.

Title	Femtrapment
Author	Littleknight
Upvotes	53
Comments	147
Date	August 21, 2018 8:20 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/996n66/femtrapment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/femtrapment.895748 https://theredarchive.com/post/895748

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