How to cope with being subpar looking man

Cooterhawk · 2025-04-04T08:34:57+00:00

Work on the things you can improve on.

SecTeff · 2025-04-04T10:54:36+00:00

Take care of your body and get in good shape.

Look after your mental health

Take part in community events and build connections with people

Engage in activities and hobbies

shingaladaz · 2025-04-04T10:05:03+00:00

Use your strengths. Attraction is extremely complex.

blackakainu · 2025-04-04T19:28:42+00:00

Get buff, smell good and dress nice

Fair-Principle-3756 · 2025-04-04T14:47:07+00:00

You have to learn to love yourself and stop comparing yourself to others. Looks aren’t everything and everyone ends up losing them anyway. It’s who you are that counts.

Solely focusing on one aspect that we view as negative, causes us to lose sight of the bigger picture. Start challenging your inner critic and refocus onto your positives.

An exercise for you to try:

Pick focus areas (personality, social life, hobbies, career, education) and list down your strengths. Then ask yourself what you’d like to improve and set yourself a few small, achievable goals to work towards. Make sure the goals are for your own benefit and happiness, not for external validation from others. Record your progress and when you achieve a goal no matter how small, reward yourself! Then set a new one.

Look back in 3 months and again in 6 months and compare how you feel from when you first started. You should hopefully view yourself in a more wholistic and positive light.

Sitheral · 2025-04-05T04:38:31+00:00

Not giving a single fuck, works like a charm.

WeEatBabies · 2025-04-04T21:55:02+00:00

Trive to become better!

Try bjj, freestyle wrestling and powerlifting!

Local-Willingness784 · 2025-04-04T14:52:56+00:00

you have to be objective about your situation and have more than one point of view plus experiences totrulyly know if it is "over" for you, if it isn't you can change stuff and hopefully get out of it, and if not there is more stuff to live for aside from romance and sex, even tho its hard to believe if you are in a bad place mentally, still I have to say it again, be objective about your situation, you cant be trusting yourself in some stuff as we all have biases and if yours is towards negativity then you need to balance it with another perspective, its still up to you what you do after that so that's that.

Lopsi6789 · 2025-04-04T15:32:29+00:00

Stay healthy, looks really don't matter outside of work

Iamscaredofpeople69 · 2025-04-04T20:28:30+00:00

I don’t think I cope. I just keep living life while keeping in mind that my looks don’t really matter in the end.

corporate_robot_dude · 2025-04-05T02:41:57+00:00

How's your height? For men, unless you are borderline deformed and below 5'6" it is possible to atleast elevate yourself by a few points by looking after yourself. If you fall under the two categories above, then it will definitely be challenging but you could date someone similar. One has to be realistic with where they stand.

Darklubrix · 2025-04-05T07:30:06+00:00

why does being subpar matters ? and in what areas is being "subpar" a issues ?

jamiejagaimo · 2025-04-05T09:18:43+00:00

Make a ton of money. If you won't, someone else will. Don't whine and say it's not possible. I grew up dirt poor and now I'm rich.

Outearn your competitors. Outlift your competitors. Become funny. Fuck women. (Never marry them)

Substantial_Dig_217 · 2025-04-05T10:19:27+00:00

Try to stop being overly concerned with your natural appearance. Absolutely take care of yourself, get your hair cut regularly, skin care etc but you are the way you are.

If you’re self conscious, do something about it. Start working out, if you don’t know how, hire a PT on a short term basis who will teach you how to work out.

If you are doing these things, you will feel better about yourself, no doubt about it.

Strong-Menu-1852 · 2025-04-05T15:55:47+00:00

Just hang in there and don't self-delete until you become numb to it. I used to pine so hard for people I liked, now I haven't had any interest in dating in over a year and found other things to enjoy. Not even trying to go MGTOW or anything just, trying to date and hurting myself over it isn't worth the time or energy

TiredOldGrunt412 · 2025-04-06T10:49:29+00:00

If they don't like my receding hairline and pot belly, then they can keep walking. Try doing situps with a spinal injury and see how you like it.

I've said it once and Ill say it again: In my grandfathers time, a man could bring home a bag of flour and a box of eggs and his wife could have dinner ready in an hour on a wood burning stove. Then hand sew the flour bags into clothes for the kids.

Todays women can't even light a gas stove.

dougpschyte · 2025-04-06T11:54:34+00:00

My nose was (very) badly broken aged 11. As a result, was a bit of an inkwell until getting a good STEM degree in the bag, and starting a PhD (it wasn't common in the 1970s). Suddenly, had to start beating women away with a shitty stick!! Needless to say, prior experience made me a little suspicious, and allowed me to be discerning regarding the offers. We men are the gatekeepers of relationships, after a woman has signalled willing intent.

Feminism has all but closed the educational pathway to relieving sexual drought, through making tertiary education a hostile environment for men.

Weekly-Ad-8530 · 2025-04-07T20:12:30+00:00

talk about your feelings, go to therapy, women love that. do the dishes

CooperSterling-4572 · 2025-04-08T06:22:46+00:00

I don't like calling anyone sub par. I think the dating apps have screwed with young guys (and women's) minds. I'm now "older" in my late 30s. I was, and still am generally athletic and I am 6'3. You know what I found? Be yourself. I pushed myself to get married, have kids, have a "perfect life", I'm a high earner. I pay more in taxes than the average person earns in America. It's not what it's cracked up to be: my wife cheated on me with a friend who makes more money yet. I see my kids on weekends now.

Being "hot" matters in your mind. You don't need a formula to figure out how to work on yourself: form good friendships and bonds with people in life. Be yourself and work onwhat you can work on. I can tell you that when I was younger I didn't know many men who thought like you're saying: guys had more self confidence, the app way of thinking wasn't a thing.

I wish I could have told my younger stuff a lot of this.

CooperSterling-4572 · 2025-04-08T06:22:51+00:00

I don't like calling anyone sub par. I think the dating apps have screwed with young guys (and women's) minds. I'm now "older" in my late 30s. I was, and still am generally athletic and I am 6'3. You know what I found? Be yourself. I pushed myself to get married, have kids, have a "perfect life", I'm a high earner. I pay more in taxes than the average person earns in America. It's not what it's cracked up to be: my wife cheated on me with a friend who makes more money yet. I see my kids on weekends now.

Being "hot" matters in your mind. You don't need a formula to figure out how to work on yourself: form good friendships and bonds with people in life. Be yourself and work onwhat you can work on. I can tell you that when I was younger I didn't know many men who thought like you're saying: guys had more self confidence, the app way of thinking wasn't a thing.

I wish I could have told my younger stuff a lot of this.

KoleSekor · 2025-04-04T13:35:37+00:00

Because no subpar looking men in human history has ever led a fulfilling life, right? Never had success. Never had love. Never been happy.

Psh... Don't be dramatic bro.

XYbiohacker2 · 2025-04-04T09:37:13+00:00

The only thing apart from looks that would help you as a man would be your status. Focus completely on your work and education and try to be an outlier.

Apart from that focus on exercising and diet. You can always recover back in life in your career, but as they say health is wealth. The only long term thing that matters is your health.

Unless you're in top 1 percentile of status, life is never gonna get nice or easy for you as a man. Learn to fight through it.

Dagenslardom · 2025-04-04T10:54:42+00:00

You either accept it and find intimacy in alternative ways. Or you choose to improve yourself, but if believe it won’t help much then yeah, just accept your situation and find joy in other ways. Chads aren’t as happy as you think they are. You can fuck as hot girls as them the only difference is one thing, lol.

Ok-Pangolin-1926 · 2025-04-04T10:56:08+00:00

Everyone is suffering from the loss of paternal/familial authority, which has been replaced by state authority on whom we are dependent but does not seem to depend on us, leaving us with little meaning or sense of agency. Requirements of public service for full citizenship combined with term limits and anti-corruption laws would go a long way towards curbing out species level ennui. Your problem isn't the way you look, it's that you live in a pathetically shallow, nihilistic society being run off a cliff by narcissistic sociopaths.

Former_Range_1730 · 2025-04-04T14:49:47+00:00

I don't cope. I evolve into a guy who no longer looks subpar.

Drekk64 · 2025-05-06T01:18:44+00:00

Ok-Let-557 · 2025-04-05T13:37:19+00:00

Why do you care about what others think of your appearance?

Title	How to cope with being subpar looking man
Author	Key_Bluebird_5456
Upvotes	23
Comments	38
Date	April 4, 2025 8:04 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1jr6ome/how_to_cope_with_being_subpar_looking_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-to-cope-with-being-subpar-looking-man.1548569 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548569

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