Scared to date

63daddy · 2021-09-22T14:21:10+00:00

Certainly there’s a higher potential of false allegation now, than years ago, but people still manage to have relationships.

I think the greatest threat is on college campuses where women are pressured to file title IX charges, where there’s mandatory reporting and where the accused receives no due process. Outside of college, the big threat is if you are running for public office, are a celebrity or something like that. These false allegations are about smearing someone’s reputation to block their progress or falsely accusing them for financial gain, because they’ve become very wealthy. The vast majority of men however will never be in these situations.

The other thing that should be obvious about false accusations is they are false. Since they are made up, avoiding women doesn’t protect you. A woman you never had sex with can falsely accuse you. That’s precisely what happened in the case of the Duke Lacrosse players: there was no sex, the woman just made it up.

Eidalan · 2021-09-22T21:27:05+00:00

Just be kind to her, and go slow. Assure her that you don't want her to feel pressured into anything and if she's not up for it, that's cool. Let her know that spending time with her is the most important thing to you, sex or not. If you're not an asshole to her she likely won't be one to you.

SolarEngine89 · 2021-09-22T12:42:30+00:00

That happens when you spend too much time on social media. They tend to...not represent real % of people sharing their views.

Also, consider previous comment advice.

Gaiinahat · 2021-09-22T23:13:19+00:00

Yeah, dude. Women just aren't worth it. Unicorns don't exist. Work on yourself. Make your body strong and healthy. Make your mind clear and develop the wisdom to see things for what they really are. Build your wealth and make yourself at minimum comfortable for the rest of your life.

Then maybe allow a woman the privilege of you paying her some attention, a woman that you choose, the creme of the crop will be at your fingertips.

ThosPuddleOfDoom · 2021-09-22T23:45:34+00:00

I've always been told the trick to finding love/ a life partner is just to stop worrying about it and let it happen naturally but I'm still single so take that as you will.

SandorYarpClegane · 2021-09-22T12:13:46+00:00

Just find yourself a woman that’s not from US/CN or any of Europe. You can also weed out most of these feminazi types by just saying “I believe in traditional roles of the house”. If they flip their shit, you dodge a bullet.

HeismanLock · 2021-09-22T12:52:51+00:00

Just record her in public agreeing to sex. Email it to yourself. So there’s a copy of it.

Edit: to anyone who thinks this won’t work, go find a news story of it not working. You won’t find it.

seeyeay · 2021-09-22T13:40:09+00:00

I can relate, its less fear though and more lacking the energy to deal with all the bullshit

jaydenpicoo · 2021-09-22T15:38:05+00:00

You spend to much time online

yoitsericc · 2021-09-22T21:28:19+00:00

I don't date. It's boring but I sleep 8 hours a night and no longer have anxiety or depression.

blzknfx · 2021-09-24T15:38:21+00:00

Sorry let me rephrase, people like you, radical feminist dogs, are terrorists. :)

Ohnoes34 · 2021-09-22T14:02:00+00:00

you are just paranoid. The feminists / crazy ladys are just a small percentage. youll be fine

DavidByron2 · 2021-09-22T16:19:25+00:00

Is this too extreme?

Sadly no.

Ok-Hamster5571 · 2021-09-22T19:34:07+00:00

False accusations out of the blue are statistically very rare.

That said, the #1 advice I would have for you is to be EXTREMELY mindful around alcohol. Many people (including males) do not have a proper memory of time, consent, or sequence of events.

Nightclubs in North America are going to be one of the safest venues on earth because they have every millisecond recorded from multiple angles.

But avoid drinking and leaving the premises with an intoxicated woman you don’t already know, particularly to go to a private home for sex.

A drunk woman cannot “give consent” so even if you are both in the same state, it’s on you, if it ever comes to that.

Just have a personal rule to not drink more than 2 drinks and sleep with a stranger.

And if you need a place to have drinks that can be fact checked: a nightclub is your friend.

mypasswordisnot38838 · 2021-09-22T15:50:42+00:00

as a mra,I would like to have a feminist SO,it would be really interesting

Syngin9 · 2021-09-22T21:19:50+00:00

There's several million of us in North America in the same boat.

FleshPanda · 2021-09-22T22:11:30+00:00

I dont date anymore because of these reasons. Its a minefield coupled with the work it takes to maintain a likely shitty relationship its just not worth it.

jace5734 · 2021-09-22T13:45:59+00:00

As a woman, a feminist isn’t necessarily bad term to be. Also, do not follow the advice above of saying you believe in “traditional roles”, because typically, traditional roles are not great for women and you’d end up missing out on a lot of opportunities on women who want to still have a life but also a life with you. If you want to control someone, go for the “traditional roles”, however if you want to be in a partnership with someone, ask their boundaries and what they expect out of a relationship.

IMO I think you’re being a little paranoid, but I’m not a man so I can’t put myself in your shoes. Most women don’t falsely accuse men of rape. It is a possibility but it seems to be much lower than what a lot of men believe it is.

Just speak to her as a person and build a relationship based on the conversation.

Asmodium27 · 2021-09-23T04:23:21+00:00

this is why I have dated palmala handerson for years now on top of the treatment I have received from them I have dated seams they all thought I was easily disposable was why my ex was so mad when I wanted to be a part of my kids lives not just a paycheck she got in the mail (or on a card)

JTroll27 · 2021-09-23T06:35:37+00:00

Nah defs being paranoid, very seldom women falsely accuse in the real world because reporting rape can be hella traumatic. I think it's just that when there is a false accusation it blows up on social media so people think it's a previlent issue when it's not.

WeaknessTechnical654 · 2021-09-23T14:54:18+00:00

Yes you are paranoid. Take time off twitter lol. If you happen to encounter one of those FDS people, then immediately avoid it.

ritoprd · 2021-09-24T00:15:04+00:00

you’re more likely to get raped than to be falsely accused of rape

blzknfx · 2021-09-24T06:19:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sootlord · 2021-09-24T14:41:02+00:00

Nah your not being paranoid. I am aware of the current dating climate and honestly don't like to date anymore.

I've had so many poor experiences over the course of the decade with dating, hookups, and LTRs that I get very anxious now.

GivePuppiesBazookas · 2021-09-22T17:24:48+00:00

I literally have resorted to only having sex with women who want to film it (I'm a kinky degenerate anyway), and it's not even a kink part, it's just a precaution.

I dated a girl months ago who said she loved to get near black out drunk and fuck, I said only if we can record from start to finish including her sober (and this was after a conversation where i refused to show her vids of other women because that's just fucked up wrong without permission). I just got the impression she wanted to make sure she could say she was drunk then raped, keep that in the bag just in case. Maybe, maybe not, but this shit has gotten so out of hand you gotta protect yourself. If you don't trust me enough to NOT show videos of you naked to others after I refused to do so for you, I certainly don't trust you with significantly more damaging stuff.

Always suspect the suspicious.

2021-09-22T19:27:37+00:00

I feel the same things besides wanting to be into men. I think you are indeed paranoid, but I think it's justified. There's plenty of examples as to why men should feel this way that are posted online every single day.

dingoperson2 · 2021-09-22T19:30:40+00:00

What you can do, and I would advise anyone to do:

In addition to your usual phone, get a second iphone - you need an iphone for this because see point 2:
Get a recording app that records even when you have pushed the power button / it's got a black screen - this will often shit out on Android phones which stop recording after a brief while, but you can literally get iPhone recording apps that run for hours and hours
If you're inviting a lady to your bedroom the first few times, just leave it under the bed / somewhere.

This will greatly diminish any risk. Sure, still a very theoretical low risk, just insignificant. Anyone fabricating a rape story would likely fabricate more than just nonverbal acts.

Also very much recommended for Snapchat - use Snapchat on your main phone, then use the second phone to take pictures/videos of the snapchat messages - so you don't trigger the screenshot alert.

I was in a work-related conflict with a woman about the contents of a chat on Snapchat - because there had been no screenshot notification, she thought she could lie about it safely - I could prove that she lied because I had used my second phone to record the snaps. The lying trash got fucked.

sure, you can stop doing this once you're in a relationship with a stable, sane woman - but the first several times you meet, you don't know that.

Title	Scared to date
Author	blzknfx
Upvotes	67
Comments	74
Date	September 22, 2021 10:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/pt4enh/scared_to_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/scared-to-date.1075011 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075011

Comments