Every summer, my children’s mother has taken 1 month off work and usually goes back home with the kids to be with her parents and her brother’s family. I can handle about 10 days away from my kids and then I’m useless. So this year, I could take time off and I asked if we could go where I want to go for 2 weeks. I wondered aloud why she gets to decide unilaterally where to take them each summer, even forcing me to be apart from them, and I have to just live with it.

This summer, I can decide and take the time to be with them so…do I get to decide unilaterally where I’ll be taking them? Nope. When I asked why, straight up, she said: “Because I’m the mother and my children don’t go anywhere without me.” (For context, we are together but things are rocky; she asserts control over the children as a means of controlling me, I think).

Regardless, I’d understand if I was some disconnected dad who didn’t do much for his kids. But I’ve been there for everything and I show up daily for them. Still, though, when it comes to being a parent, I’m not an equal even in my own home because this modern woman of mine just reinforced the most typical gender role…even dismissing my contributions because…well…I don’t know why. I thought women wanted us to do half of everything. I’m so confused by relationships with women these days….