Dear people,

Me (M22) and X (F20)have been together for over 4 1/2 years now with some breakups (4 years together, about 6 months apart). We were very young and inexperienced about relationships. Personalities were not fully developed and back then, there has been a hierarchy In the relationship (she was pushing for the relationship and she was interested in me 2 years earlier than I was).

Young Me abused this since I didn’t know any better, texted other girls, even cheated on her when I was in another country without telling her and so on.

I lost many “friends” after one breakup because she was texting one of my closest friends during that time and tried to make me jealous with him. I (my ego) was hurt because of that.

I felt fear and anger (Fear of loosing her), therefore I got back together with her once again.

We’re both (trying not to be) no toxic people, I read, meditate and practice gratitude. She is creative and compassionate. But still, the relationship has toxicity since we can’t express ourselves freely and would judge the other person if we try to tell them stories or sexual desires etc.

So, the question is whether it is even possible to save a relationship and build a future on a foundation that is clearly toxic and doesn’t feel stable. I love her and she loves me, but right now, we also live in a Long distance relationship, therefore it might be time to break it off.