If being a nice guy doesn't work, why do guys keep behaving like always losing nice guys?

wtknight · 2024-02-18T01:33:50+00:00

Removed. As this post is asking a non-neutral question, it needs to be flaired as Debate and not Discussion.

YtBlue · 2024-02-18T00:25:47+00:00

Once someone has had an idea ingrained in them for years. It's hard to even see the wrong in your mindset, let alone change quickly.

Safinated · 2024-02-18T00:47:35+00:00

Because nice is easy

Acquiring skills, muscle, style, friends, charm, money, status and accomplishments —- not so much

Spyro7x3 · 2024-02-18T00:31:33+00:00

Idk know what you mean RP says to not be a niceguy

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2024-02-18T00:41:54+00:00

I personally act as antisocial as possible. I run people off the road while driving. I throw things at random strangers. Sometimes I even push elderly people off the electric scooters at the grocery store. These behaviors keep me from becoming the dreaded nice guy.

John_Oakman · 2024-02-18T00:50:05+00:00

Fear. Fear is what keep the LVMs in line.

Fear of what? Fear of being cast out of social norms. The same social norms that based & redpilled real men of the manosphere sees as chains.

OpticalEpilepsy · 2024-02-18T00:34:21+00:00

Because they are nice out of principle not because they think it's a cheat code to unlock pussy

If you ask women if their boyfriends/husbands are nice, almost all women would say yes and no it's not because women don't understand that they don't like men that are nice. The "nice guy" they will complain about is the guy who conspicuously tries to use niceness as a cheat code to unlock pussy, not a genuinely nice guy.

Also a genuinely nice guy and a wimp are 2 different things. This motte and bailey with wimp/"nice guy" and a genuinely nice guy has got to stop.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2024-02-18T00:36:13+00:00

I do not condone or defend the NiceGuy-ism that is usually talked about (someone doing nice things and being a simp for a woman for the sole purpose of having sex, then become aggressive or inappropriate when rejected), but I think it is largely a strawman. Not saying it doesn't happen, but it is relatively rare.

If you want a more realistic depiction of NiceGuy-ism, it's more along the lines of "I try to be a good person in my life (not just romantic situations) and don't try to hurt others. I try to help people if it is in my power to do so, and gain satisfaction from this. And I do socially expected things like putting a reasonable level of effort into work, fitness, hygiene and grooming. Despite this, I have experienced a complete lack of romantic success. Meanwhile, people who are morally repugnant seem to have no trouble with relationships". It's not about entitlement or a belief that any particular person owes you sex or a relationship. It's a very real feeling of rejection and inferiority. If anything, rather than the strawman that they believe themselves entitled to anyone's romantic affection, many actively believe they deserve to be alone because they are ugly/short/weak/stupid/unmasculine.

It's very easy to become that sort of person if you've experienced nothing but rejection. Not everyone can be a confident, assertive swaggering alpha male with any degree of authenticity.

Personally I became a literal drug dealer in order to pull myself out of niceguy-ism. Although it netted me a few hookups, it didn't bring me anywhere close to a relationship because I was still straightforward and submissive with women, and the only outcome was me being arrested and sent to prison at 19.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-02-18T00:58:54+00:00

A. Most of these guys are genuinely nice. Despite women's constant demonization of the beta male who doesn't want to cuck himself and die alone, they do believe in treating others as good or better than yourself, following the rules, and being empathetic are the right things to do. Becoming the Bad Boy goes against everything he believes in, that brought the order and success to his life, if he is able to act like one at all.

B. Becoming a Bad Boy doesn't get you a Good Woman who wants to behave, but is forced to rely on the Bad Boy to survive. You get the Bad Girl. Good Men are stuck between loneliness or a relationship with a woman who is as emotional, chaotic, spiteful, and selfish as the Bad Boys she's attracted to. The ideal woman in the man's mind can't be found in a real relationship.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-02-18T01:01:50+00:00

A. They do not have complete information about alternatives - they see "jerks" - guys they were specifically told NOT to be like - getting women and think "Well that sux, women like jerks but I don't want to be a jerk - it doesn't feel right."

B. By doing the "Boyfriend Audition" - being near a girl, being nice and hoping she "realizes that they are meant to be together", he does not risk rejection. This guy basically becomes the mayor of her Friendzone for months or years until some entitled jerkboy comes a long and beds her.

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Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-02-18T01:01:13+00:00

Old habits die hard - changing your character is very hard.

I was classic nice guy when I was 15, it was a long nonlinear journey tbh.

SnooSongs8797 · 2024-02-18T01:06:32+00:00

Being an asshole rarely ever works with women worth dating

MassiveAd1026 · 2024-02-18T01:50:11+00:00

You're assuming it's an act a man is putting on. It's usually not. Everyone gives men the same advice when it comes to dating which is "Just be yourself". If a man is actually just being himself and he's kind, chilverous, a good listener, monogamous, etc. Why should he have to change who he is.

Why can't he just keep being himself, until he finds a woman who will appreciate him?

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