~ archived since 2018 ~

online dating is gamified

April 12, 2022

Most of you are probably familiar with the term gamification. This is where phone apps have turned common everyday interactions into the feeling of a game. Social media is a good example of this where interactions with people and having conversations becomes addictive much like a game does. You increase points by getting more likes or even downvotes. Everybody has an online avatar much like a game. You keep coming back to it over and over again due to the dopamine triggered by the app in the same way a decent video game would. I have observed that when it comes to trying to get matches on dating apps and then actually trying to strike up a conversation and keep the interest of the other person that I sometimes treat it like it's some kind of Zelda quest. You try all manner of discussion topics and conversations to somehow magically unlock the door that will get you to the next level with that person. I recognize how unhealthy this is and it's a subconscious thing that I have to fight now and again. Has anyone else noticed this?

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[–]wtknightGen X Slacker[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (2 children) | Copy Link

Removed. No non-neutral discussion questions. If you want to express your own views, please create a properly formatted CMV post.

[–]baresquad [score hidden]  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you’re approaching OLD like Zelda quests, you’re trying way too hard. It’s mentally taxing to stress about things like the perfect message, the first date, etc.

It’s a much easier approach to not revolve your existence around dating. I’m at the point where I only have Tinder and don’t even open the app most days.

They’re just apps guys. Stop stressing so much over them

[–]dietwindows [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've tried trying hard and I've tried not trying, both produced the same results (for me.)

[–]dietwindows [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

Many women seem to have very high expectations when it comes to texting interactions. They seem to expect me to be on-point, perpetually engaging, perpetually leading the conversation somewhere, perpetually entertaining them.

Meanwhile they are everything they don't want to interact with, and horribly unrewarding to talk to. Because if I'm not carrying the conversation, they'll find someone else who will.

Those interactions are why I gave up OLD.

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[–]Lift_and_Lurk [score hidden]  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think Tinder admitted using a casino algorithm to keep people engaged.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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