Q4M: Has it always been this difficult?

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-05-08T01:33:49+00:00

I suspect “no”. I think dating became more difficult in 2014 once Tinder became mainstream. Based off my biases and some observations, I believe dating will always be more difficult for men as long as online dating exists.

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grillopie · 2026-05-08T01:23:46+00:00

Ive initiated most dates, but most go nowhere. ive “chased” women but only when i was a teenager.

of the more successful relationships, its more 50/50 who initiated it. even if i was the one who initiated, the connection was pretty quick.

some women want a kind of ceremonial chase? but they generally are already clearly into you if thats the case. i dont know why you would chase someone not into you.

JMoon33 · 2026-05-08T01:56:27+00:00

I feel like women are approaching men more now than in the 90's. Maybe it's just because I was younger back then and younger women approach men less, but it seems more normal now for women to make the first move.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-05-08T02:06:01+00:00

It’s never been easy, it’s never supposed to have been easy.

“We choose to do these things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard” -JFK

mbh63 · 2026-05-08T02:19:39+00:00

Except for Chad, yes. Woke culture removed the bottom rung of the relationship ladder for normies. Now if you want to pursue a coworker and attempt to win her over, you must be Chad or you will get reported to HR and lose your job. Gone are the days where women and the culture would give men the chance to win a woman over with multiple requests for dates. If you don’t give her “tingles” right away, you’re toast.

And it’s actually even more insidious than that. Woke leftism had transformed men into women and women into men. Men no longer are called upon to pursue in the beginning stages of a relationship, they are called upon to perfect their appearance and status so as to entice the woman into dating them. The woman then chooses the man by sending him utterly intangible “signals”, whereas before, the man didn’t have to rely on “signals”, you could simply pursue women without being cancelled.

But the cultural change fucked us because most women don’t experience spontaneous attraction like a man would, they experience reactive attraction which is triggered (or not) when the man shoots his shot and pursues. Part of what won so many women over in olden days was witnessing the man’s passion for her and giving him that crucial chance to let attraction grow and for the man to demonstrate that he could be a worthy partner. That dynamic can’t play out anymore because we have decided to label all instances of pursuit behavior that doesn’t begin with a woman’s attraction as “sexual harassment”. If this behavior were proscribed a generation or two ago as strongly as it is now, many of us (myself included), wouldn’t exist.

We are worse off for it. The most basic unit of society, the family, is cratering because men and women aren’t pair bonding in the same numbers and creating stable partnerships.

wtknight · 2026-05-08T02:21:40+00:00

Removed. No internal questions (men asking men or women asking women).

Direct-Tower6314 · 2026-05-08T01:51:12+00:00

i think dating is harder but we also have air conditioning and water treatment plants and aren't being eaten by rats in WW1 trench warfare so 🤷‍♀️

Title	Q4M: Has it always been this difficult?
Author	Open-Quail-2573
Upvotes	7
Comments	16
Date	May 8, 2026 12:55 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/purplepilldebate/comments/1t6szh1/q4m-has-it-always-been-this-difficult/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-has-it-always-been-this-difficult.1630703 https://theredarchive.com/post/1630703

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