I keep getting asked “why” with why I don’t want a full time job or career :(

myfavoriteforever · 2023-06-26T18:26:07+00:00

Me: my husband makes a lot of money so I don’t have to work Other people: gee that must be nice Me: yep!

Is it classy? No lol but pretty much shuts them up. I also just could not care less what people think about how I live my life so I don’t feel the need to explain more.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2023-06-26T18:42:24+00:00

Just say something like, “I’m so lucky to not need to work full time anymore, I can’t wait to do all the stuff around the house I’ve been wanting to do, and dedicate more time to my hobbies!” Don’t even talk about being a “homemaker”, most people won’t get it.

I bet most people are just confused because they have to work and making the choice to not work full time is not an option.

Congrats by the way I hope it works out.

Important_Leopard_54 · 2023-06-26T21:07:01+00:00

Because you can. People are so annoying. It not their problem what you don or don’t do

sariaru · 2023-06-26T22:09:39+00:00

I usually paraphrase from GK Chesterton's The Emancipation of Domesticity. I'll leave some of the lovelier quotes here, in the hopes of edification:

Our old analogy of the fire remains the most workable one. The fire need not blaze like electricity nor boil like boiling water; its point is that it blazes more than water and warms more than light. The wife is like the fire, or to put things in their proper proportion, the fire is like the wife. Like the fire, the woman is expected to cook: not to excel in cooking, but to cook; to cook better than her husband who is earning the coke by lecturing on botany or breaking stones. Like the fire, the woman is expected to tell tales to the children, not original and artistic tales, but tales—better tales than would probably be told by a first-class cook. Like the fire, the woman is expected to illuminate and ventilate, not by the most startling revelations or the wildest winds of thought, but better than a man can do it after breaking stones or lecturing. But she cannot be expected to endure anything like this universal duty if she is also to endure the direct cruelty of competitive or bureaucratic toil.

And

The shortest way of summarizing the position is to say that woman stands for the idea of Sanity; that intellectual home to which the mind must return after every excursion on extravagance. The mind that finds its way to wild places is the poet's; but the mind that never finds its way back is the lunatic's. There must in every machine be a part that moves and a part that stands still; there must be in everything that changes a part that is unchangeable. And many of the phenomena which moderns hastily condemn are really parts of this position of the woman as the center and pillar of health. Much of what is called her subservience, and even her pliability, is merely the subservience and pliability of a universal remedy; she varies as medicines vary, with the disease. She has to be an optimist to the morbid husband, a salutary pessimist to the happy-go-lucky husband. She has to prevent the Quixote from being put upon, and the bully from putting upon others.

And

Babies need not to be taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. To put the matter shortly, woman is generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren't. It would be odd if she retained any of the narrowness of a specialist.

And lastly and most beautifully:

But when people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean.

To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2023-06-26T18:52:47+00:00

I feel like in Seattle you could tell them you've done FIRE and you're retiring from full-time work.

OkEstablishment6463 · 2023-06-27T00:16:47+00:00

Say you work for your fiance. Become unbothered.

R_R_Royce · 2023-06-28T01:47:09+00:00

Happy career workhorse here. I love my job, and I am the breadwinner in my family. I'm fortunate that my schedule allows a great work-life balance. It works for us.

That being said, you do you. If you and your future hubby are on the same page regarding finances and marriage/parenting expectations, who cares if you only work part-time or at all? Do what makes y'all happy.

They are not confused. They are jealous. In their jealousy, they hurt you or make you uncomfortable in an effort to feel superior about their own "work ethic." The reality is they would do the same as you if they could, so they are not any better. In fact, their virtue signaling makes them fake.

What do you say? Honesty and sincerity are the classy way: "I'm fortunate that I can work part time and be home with my family. I love to cook and take care of our garden, and am grateful that my fiancé/husband is so supportive of my passions."

What would I say in your shoes? Something much more petty. Lol

daikindes · 2023-06-27T03:01:47+00:00

I didn't hear this as much because I don't really meet people. My husband hears it a lot. Many people, especially his workmates ask him if I am ever going back to work, why didn't I do online business, join MLMs, social media etc.

He just replied she didn't need to or it has always been her dream to be a housewife. If someone asks me, I just stare at them silently. And they'll move on to another subject.

okamiibnida · 2023-06-27T12:41:35+00:00

I would probably say something along the lines of "I value my personal growth over my professional growth. There are plenty of fulfilling things to do in life outside of these four walls, and I am lucky enough to have the chance to experience it!"

I think it's soft enough to be amicably but gets the point across!

DepartureAdept5448 · 2023-06-27T21:57:17+00:00

what to I say to people who are confused about me wanting to be a homemaker, or judgmental that I down want to work more?

My sister-in-law is a part-time nurse in the Netherlands. Shortly after husband brother and she married, I remember her being asked the same, and she responded with "my son's special needs", which shut up everyone's criticisms, and has the added benefit of being true.

meandmymouth · 2023-06-30T19:59:37+00:00

You are so SMART! When I did it (became SAHM), I realized I didn't have the skills and it was so stressful!! Especially when you have a baby.

You're so sweet to be troubled by this! Maybe just say, you work part-time and the other time, you have health obligations to attend to for personal reasons. Personal reasons usually shut people up, lol.

Also, I think people misunderstood because generally home-making is a full-time job (being a homemaker is WORK!) :)

B_A_Hunter · 2023-07-29T17:29:47+00:00

You don't have to say anything. And try to let your husband (soon to be husband) shield you from this too. You answer to him and nobody else. I've been married 16 years and have never held paid employment, even in the worst of times. Who cares what they say. Underneath my husband I forget all about them anyway. People would find a way to judge you and question your life even if you worked 5 jobs. You are NOT alone. It's only that us traditional women do not a voice in society because nobody wants to see women dependent upon and submissive to men in anything other than some artificial game-playing scenario. Just live your life and look up to your husband. Who cares about them.

shine_light888 · 2023-06-26T20:27:09+00:00

As long as you enjoy it that’s all that matters.

StinkyPisser · 2023-07-14T04:35:39+00:00

I believe everyone should work if able.

Creative_Hearing_460 · 2024-02-11T03:37:12+00:00

I say that I annoy my husband professionally while he works from home. Most people chuckle

Title	I keep getting asked “why” with why I don’t want a full time job or career :(
Author	Lil_AmberSweet
Upvotes	28
Comments	46
Date	June 26, 2023 6:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/14jorac/i_keep_getting_asked_why_with_why_i_dont_want_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/i-keep-getting-asked-why-with-why-i-dont-want-a.1223521 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223521

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