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I may be asking stupid questions?

December 31, 2021

I am single.This sub includes woman especially with kids. I just want to ask you that is it good idea to discuss about postrum body and its effects with your partner while planning for pregnancy.( Like hey i am going to get strech Marks or boob sag,so sorry can't be sexy forever) Is it red flag if woman talk about postrum body,concern about it and focussing on it so that she can bounce back?or Do men hate to talk about it before pregnancy?

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Post Information
Title I may be asking stupid questions?
Author Glad-Discount-4761
Upvotes 7
Comments 12
Date December 31, 2021 1:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWives
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/i-may-be-asking-stupid-questions.1089777
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/rstjyp/i_may_be_asking_stupid_questions/

[–]DameWashalotFaraway 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

A few thoughts.

You can still be very attractive after having children. Yes your body will change, but if you make sure to keep eating healthily and exercising then you can mitigate the effects a lot. Even stretch marks fade over time.

I also think that if you are a strong couple, you take care of your bodies, you look out for each others' needs and your relationship is good then it will be very rare for a man to care too much about the minor body changes after pregnancy. The existence of a whole new person in your lives will be by far the greatest change!

If you are worried about body changes then I think you would be best to focus on the things that you can control (e.g. being in good shape before getting pregnant). If it's putting you off then maybe now is not the right time to consider pregnancy.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for replying .My actual question is how to talk about it to man like if woman want to say" I am scared of postrum body so plz invest some time on baby so that I take some time to bounce back like she don't want to sound like mom who care about body than baby.Even though I am Infertile.I am asking for curiousity

[–]Sea_Bookkeeper_1533 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My husband and I have an in joke where if he's stressing me out / not doing his share of the Chores, I remind him he's effectively giving his own wife wrinkles. :) that seems to work for me.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow that's cool strategy

[–]DameWashalotFaraway 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I see. I would say that's fine, just because you've had a baby doesn't mean that the baby will be your only priority. It's important to have time and space to be able to concentrate on yourself, and that includes time to exercise.

[–]foxy_heterodoxy 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not to be that guy, but the term you’re looking for is postpartum, not postrum. :)

I didn’t really mention postpartum effects on the body with my husband on purpose; I just mentioned it in passing as a joke like, “Get ready for my mom bod!” He expressed that he thought it would make me more beautiful to go through something like that.

I’ve now had 2 babies in the past 2 years and he tells me how beautiful he thinks I am because of it. If a man loves and values you for more than your appearance (feminine, nurturing, positive, etc.) I feel that the effects on your body that bearing his children will have will be trivial to him.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for reminding.I didn't notice that.😅

[–]santarosa2020Married For 14 Wonderful Years! 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You need to do more than just talk about this with your future husband, you need to observe how he treats older women in general. One way I knew my husband would treat me well after childbirth was because of the way he treated his mother and also his older sister (who had children before we were married).

My husband often helped out at his sister's house during her pregnancies, even helping her husband to build a wheelchair ramp when she had complications after a pregnancy. My husband never made negative comments about pregnant women or about post delivery women needing to bounce back quickly from pregnancy.

Any man can talk a good game about how accepting he'll be of your body after pregnancy. Try to observe from his actions if that's truly how he will be.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

the way he treated his mother and also his older sister (who had children before we were married).

That's smart way to look for man.

[–]mamameatballl 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I feel like there’s no way to bring that up that isn’t weird. Like are you saying if you start dating a guy you’ll ask him “if I had a baby and my body changed would you still like me?” Don’t do that… just date a guy who clearly likes you for more than your body lol.

[–]emmalai85 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Uh... I was a single mom when I met my husband. I warned him I didn't have a perfect body, his response was "so what?"

Okay then.

Since then, we've had 5 more living children together, and I'm pregnant with baby #7 living. He adopted my oldest, so we have "6" kids total right now.

I've had a c-section, he's delivered two of the babies himself up close and personal and gooey. If a man can't handle birth, I don't know what to say, I would be ashamed to call him a man, because to me, a man should be capable of doing anything to help his family, whether it's catching a baby during birth, or dressing a chicken, turkey, deer, for food on the table.

You will grow and age, and giving him children is part of growing together. If a man decides you aren't beautiful or sexy anymore simply because of a couple stretch marks, I don't know what to say, because I personally would think less of him, a man isn't perfect either. They'll have stretch marks, scars, old age, broken knuckles or other things from injuries over the years from sports or work or whatever.

If a man is perfect and unscathed in life, it doesn't feel like he lived very much either. People are supposed to look... alive. not like a photoshopped model.

Being healthy doesn't remove stretch marks, you can be thin and have stretch marks, scars, loose skin, etc. there's a lot more to being healthy, and stretch marks and scars shouldn't be a deal breaker. People can't help that stuff. If a man cares about that stuff, he probably shouldn't get a wife.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for replying. I thought you would ignore me after that awkward dm conservation.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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