Wedding Megathread!

Camille11325 · 2016-09-21T18:00:28+00:00

If you haven't already check out the Relationships and Weddings boards on the official RPW profile! If you'd like to become a contributor to any (or all) of the boards, PM us through pinterest :)

sugarcrush · 2016-09-21T23:41:27+00:00

I had a destination wedding, which I know can be somewhat controversial, but if anyone is interested in that I can answer your questions.

CoochQuarantine · 2016-09-21T18:06:14+00:00

Does anyone else plan a fake future wedding? Not that I am doing that or anything. Just asking for a friend :D

Irisandoleander · 2016-09-21T19:35:13+00:00

I love wedding planning :) I'm going to throw a lot of thoughts out there now and clean up later. Note - I'm in the states, so some of this may be culturally different then you :)

Bugeting

R and i had a rule with our parents, we are paying. If you would like to contribute please let us know. If we ask you to help (for example, my parents paid for the dessert) then you will be very involved with that decision (my parents went to the tasting, it was fun).

guest list

With the exception of some cousins we had a rule, my SO will not meet you for the first time at our wedding. Friends, who R had not met did not make the cut.

The Dresses

Remember, you have a different body shape then every girl on pinterest - don't be afraid to try on lots. Just because it looks good on that girl it may not look the same on you.

Do not skimp on alterations you get what you pay for.

Let your bridesmaids have input on their own dresses -- heck just task it out to them. I didn't even see a BM dress until they narrowed it down.

wedding website

Don't pay for one - there are free sites (the knot/wedding wire) it's nice to have a site where you can throw up the RSVPs and locations and a few photos. Nothing crazy. give your wedding party some bios. But still send RSVPs

Registry

You can technically register for anything you want, but don't get angry if you get judged ;) I think it's nice to register at 2 places and if you want a 3rd make it home improvementy. He get's a say too!

2 items for every 1 person you intend to invite to the bridal shower. Why shower? Because that's when people bring gifts (i'm in the USA) and the wedding most people just write checks

The shower/Bachelorette party

It's rude to invite anyone not invited to the wedding. The exception could be if like... your childhood church wants to throw you a nice tea even though you haven't seen anyone since you were 7. They are more doing it for your mom, probably.

Bachelorette parties can be trashy - don't let them get trashy. Spa weekends are fun :)

The Reception

Make your guests feel wanted. Get a DJ who is an MC, who comes out and talks to guests, gets people excited. Someone more thrilling than an expensive iPod.

Greet your guests - if you make a point to greet each table after dinner then you don't need a receiving line. Have your photographer follow you around and snap photos. They are so much nicer then potato camera phone photos. Also, you paid for that photographer.

Food - be respectful if someone has a dietary restriction. I included a box for "dietary restriction" on the RSVP then I just contacted the person (2 GF and 3 Vegetarians) then I told my hall which tables they were all at. No big.

Cash bars are tacky (in my opinion) - limit the bar to beer/wine or don't have one if you want to save money

Photos

make a list of groups ahead of time (example: Bride with her parents, bride and groom with Bride parents, groom with his parents, B&G with his parents, B&G with all parents, G and dads, B and moms, B and dad, ..... ect.) and have someone desginated to check it off as you go. A maid, or an usher, or if there is a second photographer. If there are specific poses you like from pinterest print them off, add to checklist.

First look photos are totally the way to go. just you, him and the photog for like 30 minutes before the crazy. Just breath. Be alone with him. forget even the photog is there. Then take another 10 minutes alone after the ceremony - breath, just be with him.

If I think of more stuff I will add!!! I have a few spotty blog posts on my wedding, too. So you can check over there.

CoochQuarantine · 2016-09-21T20:26:13+00:00

Just saw this. Thought it was funny. I'm still having a wedding tho.. lol

Kittenkajira · 2016-09-21T20:49:39+00:00

Some tips on having an inexpensive wedding:

Ask for help and/or delegate! People love to help out. For example, I went bouquet shopping and was shocked at the $70+ price, so decided to make one myself. My mother in law is pretty crafty, so I asked her to take over that task. Turns out she decided to just buy bouquets, and they were beautiful! I made my own wedding cake for about $10, and mother-in-law brought mini cupcakes. I had the mothers do the set up at the wedding site, and some other family members take the reception decorations where they needed to go.
Skip the rehearsal and just have people over. Our officiant charged an extra $80 to do a rehearsal, plus it's a hassle to reserve the site the night before. So a couple nights before the wedding, we had the wedding party and parents come over. Practiced on the patio with lawn chairs as the guests, and ordered pizza. I gave everyone a personalized itinerary so they knew where to be and when.
When looking for a reception or wedding sites, don't just go for the obvious, advertised ones. My husband's family has a favorite local brewery restaurant, and they have a nice business event room. We were the first to have a wedding reception there, which they only allowed since we agreed to do it on a Monday (their slowest day). They let us have the room for pretty much the entire day, so we set up in the morning and they ensured no one bothered with stuff. Since our reception started prior to 4pm, it was only $14.50 a person, and that included non-alcoholic drinks! The school house we married at was only $50 an hour to rent - we found out about it by looking at all the public park spaces available to rent.
For the wedding dress, try and get one with good support and have it altered to fit so that you don't need expensive specialty undergarments. Seriously, some of those bustiers and slips are like $80, and those wedding shops will push suggestive selling at you with all their might. Ieie has nice veils for much cheaper than bridal shops. For cheaper wedding dresses, check Etsy, ModCloth, and BHLDN. Alfred Angelo has some of the most expensive wedding dresses, but all of their bridesmaids dresses are available in white, ivory, and blush - quite a few of them are fancy enough to pass for wedding dresses. This dress in white was my wedding dress, and it was only $200! Get some props for the pictures - I shopped on ebay for a lace umbrella and some vintage lace gloves. My mom had a vintage pearl necklace that worked well. The photos with my accessories are so darling, and that umbrella was actually handy to block the sun and wind!
Check with the community college professors for students willing to do your wedding photography. You should be able to find someone to do it for $300-$500. Sites like wedding wire were quoting $2,000 and up (however I did find a good wedding officiant on wedding wire).
Do DIY wedding invitations. We got a kit from Office Depot, but Michael's often has half off coupons. It'll take a good day's worth of work, and they won't be perfect, but it works!
Do your own makeup. My maid of honor and I went to a local beauty school for a trial run, and came out looking like Halloween rejects. That scared us away from wanting anyone else to do our makeup. We sat outside the wedding venue in a covered Gazebo and did our makeup - it was very calming and such a beautiful day. Avoid glittery finishes and keep everything matte or else it can show up badly with the camera's flash.
For engagement photos, we just had a family barbecue and had everyone take pictures of us afterwards. We got some really good ones in the front yard with all the flowers in bloom! As a bonus, we took some much needed family photographs.
For the wedding music, we just used our boombox. It was placed in the back of the wedding venue, and a trusty uncle was in charge of the remote. He came over a couple days before the wedding for a lesson on boombox-ing. My husband burned a CD with 3 songs on it - the wedding party walking song, the wedding march, and the song to be played after it was over (on repeat). It worked great, and was free!
Think about the necessity of the various traditions at the wedding reception. We didn't have any dancing, which the guests appreciated. :) That cut out a lot of expenses such as a dance floor and DJ. We just had our first dance at home, haha. We did the cake cutting, and many of our guests gave toasts without a microphone.

Sunhappy_DC · 2016-09-21T18:02:18+00:00

For all the ladies who have already tied the knot, what was your total wedding budget? I'm curious because it seems to cost an arm and leg and your first born to have a wedding nowadays and I think it's too much.

Nomudnolotus111 · 2016-09-23T07:08:16+00:00

I'm too shy for a big wedding, instead I dream about disappearing off with the SO somewhere tropical :)

Lin333 · 2016-10-07T02:51:14+00:00

has any of you regretted?

I actually have a few more years <3 years to our house so we can get married anytime soon.

I dont really want the whole wedding thing, maybe just get into the dress walk down some isle, nothing too fancy

but have any of you regretted now throwing it bigger/smaller?

Sunhappy_DC · 2016-09-21T18:02:56+00:00

For freshly engaged ladies, did you ask your SO to drop 2-3 months income on the ring? I heard this is a standard expectation for engagement rings.

sunfloweries · 2016-09-23T00:14:57+00:00

So, truth be told, I honestly don't enjoy planning our wedding. I'd rather elope and have it done with and skip all of the theatrics and just be married. But his family is very big into celebrations and partying, and of course I can't deny them (or him) that.

It's going to be really simple and as non-weddingy as we can manage. Outdoor ceremony in a national park, no bridal party, no expensive photographs (a friend of ours has already volunteered to take some candids during the day, which are all that we want!), and no dance party reception. His mom is making our cake, and my mom will make my bouquet.

Instead of the dancing, we're opting for board games and card games. Our families both love board games (we both grew up playing them multiple times a week, and have a great stash of vintage and new games that are a ton of fun). We're also absolutely bringing giant Jenga!

We are going all out on the catering and we'll use some of the money to buy him an expensive, good suit that will last him a long time. My dress will probably be one of the dresses on ModCloth.

Honestly, all that I care about is that I get to marry him!

Title	Wedding Megathread!
Author	RPWives
Upvotes	9
Comments	42
Date	September 21, 2016 5:56 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/53ugtf/wedding_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/wedding-megathread.209564 https://theredarchive.com/post/209564

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