Where do I go from here? (I'm a man)

santarosa2020 · 2021-09-08T17:27:31+00:00

Marriage means stability for men. My husband knows he has a wife to come home to, that our children are well cared for while he is working, and that I can help him with caring for family members. My husband doesn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. He also has someone to hold him accountable. Someone to discuss problems with. Someone to share life's joys and sorrows with.

In return, my husband provides the income for our family. He is faithful to me. He's willing to lead our family, especially during scary situations, like when we had to evacuate during a wildfire. He is the most unselfish man I know. He helps his family and also his community. He's always the first one to volunteer to help build a playground at the poor school in town or to help an elderly neighbor by building a wheelchair ramp. His sons are following in his footsteps and have a lot of respect for daddy.

We have neighbors up the street who are shacking up together. The man came home a few months ago to find his girlfriend had taken off while he was at work and left the children home alone. She was gone for 3 weeks with a man she met on the internet. She's back now and her boyfriend is busy playing video games (he doesn't work right now). They have loud fights, sometimes on the front lawn. We see them around town patronizing local fast food places, but never in the grocery store. During the wildfire evacuation the boyfriend threw a temper tantrum in the driveway shouting "I'm scared, I shouldn't have to do this!". We never see either of them volunteering to help anyone.

Which man do you want to be?

fashlatebloomer · 2021-09-08T08:50:47+00:00

This sub, for wives, is obviously going to be full of people who think marriage is worthwhile and a viable option for men… since we are married to men.

You are going to have to put on your big boy pants and own your shit. If you are capable of overcoming poverty then you are also capable of maturing into the kind of man worth being married to. Why would any man or woman of worth marry or stay married to someone who is a selfish, unaffectionate cheater?

Until you fix those things, stay single.

terragutti · 2021-09-08T13:03:09+00:00

Well, examine if its for you. Obviously marriage is viable, but as other people have said, its no walk in the park. You imagine being married with a family and a wife, youre only imagining the good times. Youre looking at this with rose colored glasses on. Realize that its not always going to be good and when those not so good things happen, will you be able to keep to the promises you made your wife? Those are things to think about.

Pola_Lita · 2021-09-08T08:33:49+00:00

It's viable. People are still marrying so it has to be.

Probably by the time you've decided what sort of marriage you want, relationship you want, woman you want, etc. you will be more of the sort of person that would fit in with those things.

And you have 2 things in your favor that not everyone has: 1. Appreciation for objectivity (It wouldn't be fair if I only conversed with men on this.) and 2. Self-awareness, good and bad.

TBH, I don't know if they'll let you post here yet. But there's also r/MRP and r/marriedredpill to read from. Even though they don't let women say anything there. :p

HappilyMrs · 2021-09-08T08:38:41+00:00

It's very viable for people who love each other, are loyal, and enthusiastic about putting in the hard work of being two imperfect people in an imperfect world. It takes being flexible, forgiving, and faithful. It doesn't suit everyone, and I'm not going to try to convince you when it seems you already know if it is a good fit for you at present. Perhaps in time it will feel like a better fit, or you'll feel like you are more suited to it.

thornsandlace · 2021-09-09T01:06:26+00:00

Stop loitering and giving bad advice here and in RPW, and start participating in the men’s subs. Sidebar, lift, get yourself where you want to be. Then worry about whether you want to get married. And for the love of God, stop asking women for advice on how to be a man.

Unlikely-Ad4820 · 2021-10-07T01:10:57+00:00

This is just my personal opinion based on my experience. Men in general, high value or not tend be pretty bad at picking partners just as much as women nowadays. This is why so many men and women are upset saying things like marriage isn't worth it. Many guys will go after women that are shallow, superficial, gold diggers etc. And then be surprised that a woman that advertises herself as this doesn't make a good wife. There are many women that likewise choose to marry men that talk down to them, are unfaithful, emotionally unavailable and have surprised pikachu face when it turns out marriage doesn't automatically change him for the better.

I will be pretty blunt here. Decent women will not want a man that has infidelity problems to be married to or have children with. This is a huge red flag because having kids with such a man means one of two things. You are willing to jeopardize a potential marriage and/or breakup a family should he cheat or lower herself to put up with his cheating should he decide to. I would just ask yourself do you want a woman who has the sort of problems you have? If the answer is no then work on bettering that part of yourself. I dont think it has to be doom and gloom when it comes to marriage, I just think many people have so many toxic beliefs and expectations about love, and people.

HappilyMrs · 2021-09-08T08:49:12+00:00

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/how-to-be-husband-material?utm_campaign=later-linkinbio-eviemagazine&utm_content=later-20385920&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkin.bio

Found this as I was on IG and thought it might be relevant for you

anamaria2121 · 2021-09-08T18:22:14+00:00

Check out r/marriedredpill and r/askmrp

adoctorswife · 2021-09-08T20:43:20+00:00

Marriage is a viable option for men but if you are a traditional minded man in the West it will be hard for you to find a traditional women and even harder to find a virgin/low body count woman. If you are a high value man it is much easier, like yourself, you should have no issue choosing your ideal kind of woman but for the men of less wealth it will be much harder. I believe this is the main reason a lot of men are going abroad to find a wife.

If you think marriage is something you want and need in life, go for it, if you have doubts then just don’t. Marriage is a wonderful thing but not a requirement for any individual. As a man, time is on your side, you can start a family at almost any time in your life unlike women who are more limited on their time to make kids.

ih8juice39 · 2021-10-24T21:45:42+00:00

It sounds like you’re still pretty young yet, so maybe you’ll have a change of heart closer to your 30s. Maybe it’s hard to imagine settling down with anyone right now!

I do think it’s a viable option for men and women alike. I don’t believe men and women are meant to live apart. … It’s just not how humans are wired. Although you CAN be single most of your life, it’s really difficult to get by on your own; working long hours and then coming home to have to do your own laundry, cook your own food, clean your own home, and that sort of thing. I think our biology kind of dictates our gender roles, (contrary to the popular line of thought these days) men are wired to be providers, and women nurturers and caretakers. I think with being successful at your job, it’s natural to have a woman to take care of domestic matters.

Especially if you want to have kids, the only way that makes sense to raise them is with a partner who has the complementary role of caring for them, cooking, cleaning etc. (not to mention psychological outcomes for children of single parents are depressing.)

The caveat here though is that it is only viable for people with traditional values. There is 100% no sense in getting married to a woman who is a feminist or even believes in gender “equality” and instead of taking care of domestic matters is going to be working, solely focused on trying to advance her career and doesn’t want to have children, and believes in equally sharing household chores after you both get home from working long hours. Especially if she’s of the mentality that women should get to dress promiscuously, go hang out with other men, etc. and then, if she wants a divorce, will take 50%+ of everything you worked for your entire life with zero remorse.

There’s no real pay off for either party in that arrangement, other than companionship. If you’re just going to have to do your own cooking, laundry and cleaning, what’s the point? Lol. Research shows that men are incredibly unhappy in domestic arrangements like this. Your children will grow up as latchkey kids or in daycare centers (research also shows that there are horrible behavioral and mental health outcomes for children who are in institutions like that most of the day).

Those are just my opinions, and why I personally have traditional values. There are a lot of MGTOW types on the right who DON’T believe marriage is viable for men and do everything to convince other men NOT to get married. Their feelings are understandable given the state of modern women today; but a lot of those problems are usually non-problems if you are traditional minded and you meet someone who is also very traditional minded. Men and women are meant to complement each other in life as they have since the Dawn of time. They’re not meant to be “equals” in the feminist sense of the word, in which women are fighting for the right to act like second rate males. (Only creating disharmony in the home)

ih8juice39 · 2021-10-24T21:53:30+00:00

Also going to quote Varg Vikernes’ thoughts on women here which I think is kind of relevant:

“If we take modern women first, I think it is sad to see how - pardon my French - fucked up modern female culture has become. Today the role of mother is looked down upon and being a "housewife" is an insult to many modern women. This is seen as part of the "male enslavement" of women. To stay home with the children is seen as a nightmare and a burden. Instead they get an education (usually some theoretical nonsense) and do as best they can to become like men. They work like men, dress like men, try to think like men, talk like men and act like men (and some of them even look like men). Since most of the smart women are busy getting an education, the generally more stupid women get most of the children, and as a result of that the whole species is getting dumber - as the average intelligence drops when the stupid women have most of the children.

Cooking too is looked upon with contempt. A (female and American) friend of mine pointed at the fact that women in the USA are actually more likely to slap a man's face if he asks her to cook dinner than for demanding a blowjob on their first date, and I think that says it well. All the "liberation" of women has done is to cause women to replace all the positive characteristics of women with the negative characteristics of men.

I have met Norwegian men who have had girlfriends who didn't even know how to mix lemonade or boil an egg - and note the past form of the verb, have had girlfriends, as they obviously didn't bother to stay with them. The beauty of the women lured the men to them, but they had no other qualities, so they didn't manage to hold onto their men.

The modern women can no longer cook, they no longer want children and they are no longer warm, tidy and loving creatures who think spending time with their family is a good thing. They are probably too "independent" and "strong" to even have a family of their own. The only thing modern women have to offer men today is sex. So instead of being loving housewives who cook and raise children, they are reduced to being sexual objects only - and they are so messed up emotionally and intellectually that they often spend most of the money they make on their jobs on plastic surgery, cosmetics and tons of clothes they think will make them look good, in a desperate attempt to stay or become more attractive. Well, they have no other qualities attractive to men, so what else can we expect? This is the fruit of feminism. The fruit of "women's liberation".

A truly smart woman will understand that being a housewife, raising children and cooking is not demeaning. They perform a task that is extremely important for the whole kin, tribe and nation, and nobody else can do it. Men certainly cannot! Women are equipped with a womb and breasts for a reason. That is just how nature works, whether we like it or not. It is not demeaning for a woman to be a woman. Everybody should understand that, even hateful, self-loathing feminists.

True women are all my equals, whom I adore and respect, but I see modern women more like disgusting, primitive and disturbed animals, or subhuman at best. And those who think I am some male-chauvinist who only criticize modern women here are actually wrong, because this is not only an attack on modern women, but it is an attack on the modern world as a whole, and modern men are certainly no better. Most modern men should be grateful even for the fact that they have not yet been put to sleep, like dogs often are when there is something seriously wrong with them. All of mankind is thoroughly messed up today, not just the modern women, and I am sure there are ten times more women worth saving, than there are men worth saving, so to speak. “

ganz_allein · 2021-09-08T16:43:09+00:00

Sign a pre nup if you ever get married. The system incentivizes women to get divorced and leave with most of your money. She will do everything to make you believe NAWALT but AWALT.

FlouncyMcTwinkle · 2021-09-08T21:32:54+00:00

You are asking women if marriage is a viable option for men. As if we would say no. Work out if its viable for you, with a particular woman in mind when it becomes relevant to your relationship. Too many random variables otherwise.

Title	Where do I go from here? (I'm a man)
Author	ResponsibleYak724
Upvotes	0
Comments	28
Date	September 8, 2021 7:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/pk61y7/where_do_i_go_from_here_im_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/where-do-i-go-from-here-im-a-man.1069832 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069832

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