Accepting Reality

BCFtrip · 2015-07-25T19:55:03+00:00

Wrapping around all the cold disgusting truth of human nature is people's personalities. That's the warmth you're looking for.

You'll feel better when the cognitive dissonance goes away.

AKtoREMEMBER · 2015-07-25T19:49:11+00:00

Couldn't help but make a comment on this one. For the same reason you lurk around TRP, I lurk around RPW - curiousity. Because it is really heartwarming to see fellow ladies discuss how to maintain healthy long term relationships. Ladies here are just really nice. I always thought that women were evil and they were just born to suck the life out of their partners. Thanks to my mother for setting an example.

But I did meet some women later in my life who changed my perception about the womenkind entirely for good. See the problem was never the nature of women, it was my choice of who to shake hands with. Those women helped me filter the good and ugly. I don't know how people perceive AWALT or AMALT. But I don't think that there is anything wrong with it. It helps you understand the other sex better. It is nature. In the same way it is natural for a person to have certain characteristics, some that you might prefer. But how you are going to discover what you like in men if you don't interact with men. It is easy to look about and see things and stereotype people. You have to be picky. It is true that all men want sex (and hey women want sex too, right?), but that is not all they want. They want love and affection too. They want romance too. So some men prefer romantic sex some men prefer rough sex. It is only the question of what kind do you prefer. I personally like women who are intelligent and have a sweet voice (apart from the obvious feminine qualities).

The only way to deal with this problem of yours is for you to meet new people and make your observations. It is about what you like and dislike. Once you have learned what you like in men and have accepted the nature of an RP man, it will be easy for you to make your choice.

Men love women too, but they also want their women to love them back and give them the affection and comfort they deserve.

And it is the first time I have ever commented in this sub. If the moderators don't like it, then they are free to remove this comment, I won't rebel.

LifterofThings · 2015-07-26T05:05:45+00:00

I met my bf kinda... as I started reading and understanding TRP.

The place I've arrived at now is that generalizations about the worst of humanity are not inescapable destiny. Nobody's a great person all the time-- not you, nor any man that you're thinking about getting involved with. TRP just illuminates some of the pitfalls that men and women can fall into-- it offers awareness (rather than the feel-good misdirection that's common in pop culture), if not perfect control over these things.

How do you move forward? With good intentions, and compassion-- for yourself, and for others. Improve yourself, and don't be too fatalistic when you fuck up. Remember that people who fuck up to your detriment are only human, too.

How do you trust? You just choose to. There are no guarantees, ever-- not for men or women. You just make an informed decision to gamble on another person. Vulnerability's the cost/risk of true, deep connection. It's up to you to decide whether a particular person is worth the risk.

TheLadyPainter · 2015-07-26T06:29:05+00:00

Truth is cold, hard, and polarizing. Reality is a little less hard. You will see examples of truths everywhere you go, but honestly, people aren't as bad as we make them out to be, for the purposes of everyday interaction.

I have a lot of friends that are brainwashed by the feminist/liberal university doctrine, but they're not bad people. I just keep my mouth shut if they start going off about something and enjoy them for who they are. There may be occasional 'I'm a strong, independent woman, how dare this mofo catcall me?!' and fat acceptance posts on facebook, but if we can get lunch and laugh and enjoy each other's company... my brain is just like 'eh, oh well!'

When it comes to men, I feel like it's best to find someone who has a mix of beta and alpha traits. If you go for a straight-up alpha, he's never going to commit to you. You don't want that. You also don't want a beta doormat who you cannot bring yourself to respect. Find a man you're attracted to, who WANTS a relationship, who you can respect, and who knows how to lead.

Most importantly, don't take RP theory too seriously. Learn it, internalize it, and then go about your life with joy. Be a ray of freaking sunshine. I've found that if you're enjoyable, people reciprocate by making your environment enjoyable. :)

Disappear_vanish · 2015-07-25T20:28:37+00:00

I think it's good and correct to withhold trust and to assume ulterior motives in others. Wait for people earn your trust. Most people are shitty. There are some who aren't but not many, so filter out the rest. Hold them at bay and be cordial but don't open your life to them.

For men, the groveling, pathetic whiny beta types are tough. Most men have been pretty feminized. I also don't see much change in a man just based on how his woman submits. Men who are wusses are probably in way too deep to become alpha. Unless they find TRP and go off into the manosphere.

It is sad and hopeless when you dwell. It's the age we live in though. Generation after generation has failed with regard to this feminist condition and we wander through life, The Road style, in desolation and ruin, with maybe one trustworthy human if circumstances don't take or change that person.

When you're confronted with and working on and improving on your failings as a human and you're genuinely looking for a companion to share all of yourself with and you look around and see people like caricatures and realize you're really a slot for slobbering, begging betas or you're the next joke for the alpha who is respectable but cynical and not going to commit, yes it's bleak.

Males go through anger phase when they realize TRP is truth. I never see it discussed about us, who are supposed to and want to depend on a strong male who we can submit to and trust, those of us who aren't wild or slutty or greedy.

Some ladies didn't get worn out riding cowgirl and now need a 5'11" wallet with dark hair and a big dick. Some of us want a man we can respect, marry, be complimentary to. We want to live out our femininity within the context of a traditional relationship led by a worthy man. But that landscape you see when you're looking around at the condition of men? That's their view of the condition of women. Any decent ones are in such a vast minority that for all practical purposes, they don't exist. That is a result of fifty years of feminist agenda.

fhigurethisout · 2015-07-26T01:16:07+00:00

i completely understand your frustration.

just remember that the truth you see can leverage you in ways you can't imagine.

you are now aware of the generic male and female behavioural dynamic, and therefore you have the ability to shape yourself into the best person you can be and learn from other's mistakes.

in my opinion, this is a great gift.

pre-redpill/in my teens i was truly on the path to becoming a feminist princess, doomed to be forever alone because "no man was good enough for me". (also my mom's preaching lol)

when that blindfold starts coming off your eyes, you are humbled and self-aware of your flaws.

i have made leaps and bounds of improvement and feel much happier in life. i am also in the most wonderful relationship of my life with the most wonderful man i have ever met.

it will get better. focus on self-improvement...in time, you will attract like-minded individuals.

also, it isn't about "how can i trust anyone?". yes, i know that feeling, but if you can't comprehend or understand the importance of vulnerability then you won't be able to trust anyone you love or fall in love with.

also, why should they trust you? remember that it works both ways. in fact, more-so for women because we are the hypergamous ones.

work on yourself first, use your knowledge to benefit you, and the rest will come...trust me ;)

Fen94 · 2015-07-25T20:57:46+00:00

Hey, I know that feeling, but I came from it from a different side...

Genders act differently. Movies massively over-simplify and endorse it, and when you realise they are doing this it's sickening. When you realise how people are just acting out these stereotypes, it's incredibly depressing.

All you can do is refuse to act out the stereotype. And believe that if you can manage that, other people will be able to too. But generally, most people are conformist, so be prepared to stand out a little for being a genuine person.

CharmingChica · 2015-07-25T22:11:45+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers of sex...Be open to dating and as long as you don't give that up to early and show you have more to offer the guys who just want sex will get the hint and the guys who are interested in sex and More will stay :) makes it much easier to pick who to trust

[deleted] · 2015-07-26T17:46:32+00:00

You're only looking at the negative side of things right now because you feel shocked.

First off you need to stop worrying about what other people are doing. That's a recipe for driving yourself insane no matter how you think about the world. All you should focus on is improving yourself, meeting new people, and engaging with the world around you.

Also, don't think for a second that TRP or RPW means you can't have love. I am happily married and absolutely head over heels in love with my husband who adores me (been together almost 7 years). He loves me because we have fun, we laugh all the time, I never control him, we have LOTS of sex whenever he wants, I let him lead, I trust him, I am feminine and cook every night and pack lunches for him, I'm fun to be around, and we have a lot in common! He constantly does romantic things for me out of the blue. He always wants to spend time with me because I add to his life and I make him a better leader.

We don't fight because when you have defined roles there's really nothing to fight about. Not a lot of married couples can say they don't fight. Understanding how the world really works gives you a shot at happiness that most people literally don't think exists.

In some ways there's also LESS pressure when you accept RPW ideals. Non RPW try to control everything, which also means they are taking on a huge amount of stress, which they're less adept at handling than you're average guy. These women also believe they must look like models, earn like a CEO, have 3 perfect children who go to ivy league schools, have stunning international vacations, etc. etc. etc. The list of wants and needs NEVER ENDS so they are never happy.

Sure, things are different than you thought. But the fact is things are way simpler for you. If you asked most men, "could you fall in love, really in love, with an attractive woman who made you laugh, treated you like a man, respected you, had lots of free sex with you, cooked for you, supported you, and was generally just fun to be around?" I think they would say YES.

Focus on nurturing yourself and improving your life. Remember that bitterness and judgment will only attract bitterness and judgment.

dalls18 · 2015-07-25T21:17:16+00:00

I felt the same way when I swallowed the red pill six months ago. Before, I never really analyzed the world around me in that way but once I began to see living examples of a lot of things that are talked about on this and TRP, I was shocked.

At the time, I guess you could say that I had a lot of options in terms of dating guys. At the time, when I was dating, I had little regard to any of the dates I went on and I didn't take any of it seriously because I had the mentality that there was always someone better.

Because of the red pill, I've definitely learned a lot about myself and the relationship I want and the type of person I need to be to get into an RP kinda relationship.

In the beginning, that anger phase feels awful but what you do with that anger is way more important. Of course, there will always be white knights and betas and AF/BB but you can control your life. You can be more feminine. You can learn how to treat men with more respect and appreciate them more. You can learn to not be a bitch. You can learn how to be more attractive and put your best foot forward. You can learn to attract more masculine men by being more feminine.

This process is not easy but don't ever feel like you're powerles because there are always things you can do.

cxj · 2015-07-25T21:44:18+00:00

There are no good guys. There are no good girls. There are only good actors.

expect the worst or die naive.

sugarcrush · 2015-07-25T20:37:51+00:00

Honestly, I'm happy I met my husband before I knew what the red pill or even what reddit was. When I met him, I actually didn't even have a smart phone! Yeah I'm a late adapter for my generation, but I still think it made things so much easier. I didn't even have texting on my phone plan until I was like 16, and no smart phone until I was 21 I think... And even then it was a shit windows phone lol.

This sounds cheesy but when you're with the right person, it does just "feel right". Yes you should still have all the necessary conversations (religion, finance, children, etc.), but the day to day of our relationship is EASY. For real. With my other serious ex boyfriend, we fought a lot. But with my husband things just work. It's indescribable. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense but I hope you know (or one day will know) what I mean. :)

iJJD · 2015-07-26T07:16:38+00:00

I think what you need to remember is TRP is about understanding the sexual environment in our society and developing strategies. What you read there is an analysis of people and how they approach sex and their lives. That doesn't mean what everyone does is an act, or everyone is some kind of "fake" beta, alpha, white knight. TRP takes their perspective and does something with it. There is just the world and what you make yourself out to be. We're not all faking things to get what we want, facades break easily and its up to you to see them.

bonusfruit · 2015-07-26T14:08:52+00:00

Support mgtow. They might sound hateful but at least they are earnestly trying to reject sexual strategies, something you seem to hate, and purging themselves of the urge to treat women in any particular way good or bad for the sake of sex. If you hate the sexual dynamics between men and women, mgtow are your friend

Title	Accepting Reality
Author	dalls18
Upvotes	46
Comments	53
Date	July 25, 2015 6:13 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3ekwx3/accepting_reality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/accepting-reality.2287 https://theredarchive.com/post/2287

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