Being Knowledgeable & Outspoken + Feminine?

KombuchaEnema · 2021-01-29T23:25:00+00:00

This might be silly, but you might best be compatible with someone who is even more flamboyant, outgoing, and argumentative (not in an abusive way) than you.

For example, take a strong warrior queen who can kick any man’s butt in her kingdom. She would probably seem very dominant to those men. But if she traveled to another kingdom and met a man who could defeat her in battle, she would technically be “submissive” to him. That’s why there’s the legend of these ancient female warriors who refused to marry a man unless he could defeat her in battle.

I think you have to look at the personalities of the men who view you as “dominant.” Are they laid-back, meek, and chill? There’s nothing wrong with that. But of course they might view you as dominant if you’re someone who likes to talk and debate when they’d rather sit back and relax.

Have you met other men who are similar to you? In that they enjoy debate and discussions? What do they think?

Also, are you debating in a way that’s harsh and confrontational. Consider these two examples:

Example A: “Jared, it’s insane that you think salads are good. That’s rabbit food. How do you expect to sustain yourself? You need protein!”

Example B: “Jared, while I agree that salads are tasty, I do think it’s important to include protein in one’s diet.”

Example A is a bit harsh and forward, whereas Example B is more graceful without being too confrontational. Also, I’d suggest that Example B is just a better way to debate in general.

VivaLaVict0ria · 2021-01-30T00:49:36+00:00

I’m the same as you!

All it takes is a man who is equally dominant (I know easier said than finding one.) But they are out there! I’ve married one 🥰

You won’t be happy with a man who is only “dominant” because you’ve toned yourself down. That’s like wanting a man taller than yourself and cutting off your feet to be shorter than him; you can’t cut away pieces of who you truly are to make someone else the tall one; they’ll remain the same as they always were but YOU will be unhappy; and that’s no good for anyone.

A grizzly bear doesn’t tone herself down to mate with a teddy bear, she finds someone who can stand up to her, and stand up for her .

Hope this helps! ♥️🐻

S-Soda1 · 2021-01-30T00:03:18+00:00

Different people will bring out different aspects of your personality. Same with where you are. For example, a person may be bubbly and cheerful at home, but serious at work. Or quiet and reserved with their boss, but not afraid to have heated debates with their friends. So how you are perceived by one person in one area of life isn't necessarily who you are. It's just his perception. Maybe it's right when you're at school, but clearly you feel his description of you isn't entirely accurate. You don't need to 'win' by changing yourself to prove he is wrong. Just let it go.

It sounds like you want to be submissive and sweet while in a romantic relationship/at home. But you enjoy having debates and such outside of that. People are multifaceted. You can certainly be a strong, outspoken person outside the home and gentle and loving to your spouse. You shouldn't squash your passion for debate, or hide your opinions because one man (boy?) said you are a dominant person.

Strong people admire strength in others. Ambitious men will likely want an ambitious wife. So going to a top school and getting a degree is a fantastic idea! Maybe join the debate club. Or a group that advocates for a cause you believe in. Passion is an attractive feature.

Since you want a large family, you should look into careers that have flexible schedules. I'd recommend getting a degree in something that will pay well and/or have flexible hours, and complete a minor in something fun.

CountTheBees · 2021-01-30T05:16:25+00:00

Just make sure others are enjoying the conversation as much as you are and you will be fine. Try to be caring and inclusive during your discussions and you will not appear too dominant.

If someone is uncomfortable during the conversation and you don't notice because you're busy talking, yes, it is a bad look for you. Try to avoid that and keep the topic restrained to the comfort levels of everyone participating.

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2021-01-31T14:24:47+00:00

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I am 51 years old and have decades of experience to draw on in considering your position.

Your problem is that you're smarter than average. That means you're smarter than most men. You also sound strong-willed and confident. Being smart, confident, and strong are not bad traits for a person to have.

Abandon any thoughts of changing who you are. It won't work. You can modify some behaviours in order to get along better, socially. As you mature you will learn less combative ways to express your views and engage in productive debate. But you must not attempt to hide your light under a bushel. It won't work and will only backfire.

Being smarter and stronger-willed than most people does mean that you will have to accept that finding a mate you can look up to won't be easy. You can improve your odds by maximising your physical attractiveness. This will give you a better shot at attracting the minority of men who can handle you.

Be aware that you will probably attract introverted, quiet men. They will admire your energy and intellect. The trick will be to handle them with care and not allow yourself to be domineering. They likely won't express themselves in the stereotypical alpha ways but they will still want to be appreciated and valued for their masculinity. There absolutely are men who like to engage with women who challenge them, so long as they aren't utterly undermined and made to feel weak.

youtoujil · 2021-02-06T18:16:22+00:00

Have you ever met for real the type of men you really want or at least interacted in a significant manner with men of that “archetype”? If not I am afraid as intellectual as you are you may have built yourself up certain standard about how those men are supposed to like women which sound deeply reductionist. This is probably related to your young age.

There are plenty of way to be feminine and still outspoken and debate friendly, feminine is an energy, a demeanor, a certain way of moving and inquisiting, the same action can have a masculine or feminine flavor depending on how it’s done.

However if you get the feedback of being masculine that’s a clue that you may be overdosing your effect. Especially if several people told you this aside from anecdotal example.

Understand also that “inner feminine” is non existent, you are or your are not, it’s like a man being super beta, passive and feminine mannered telling you that when he met the real women he becomes masculine. This is nonsense.

blogging7890 · 2021-02-17T09:20:09+00:00

Hoo girl, did I write this in my sleep? Make another Reddit account, and throw away the password? 😳😳😳 I COMPLETELY relate

I see other people saying you need to match with someone who tops these traits in you, which I agree with and want for myself as well, however, I have the added problem of struggling with hypervigilance 😂😂 AKA- the sad reality is, if I got this I’m sure at THIS point in my life (I’m definitely dedicated to loving my man right so I plan to seek THERAPY when I can fiscally afford to and whenever the living hell I find a therapist I trust, probably when hell freezes over) I’d throw it away. AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. I would unintentionally throw it away because after I went down the rabbit hole of learning about abuse tactics, I’ve struggled with hyper vigilance ever since, so it’s just all bad for me in this situation 😖😖

IcarusKiki · 2021-01-30T08:56:29+00:00

Not everyone needs to be a ultra mousy quiet girl who doesn’t speak unless spoken to. Even in the 1800s there were characters like Elizabeth Bennet who were still graceful and classy but also assertive and intelligent. But that doesn’t mean you have to be abrasive or masculine either - lots of men like women who can hold their own intellectually and have a bit of a playful and sassy edge - they don’t like loud boorish women who have to debate every little thing and have to always be right. If people seem to like your “spice” and you fit into the first category, keep on being your clever self (you just might need a man who can best you in an argument and who you can submit to), if men are put off by it maybe do a little self reflection - often the most argumentative are the most insecure.

LocalReligionMajor · 2021-01-29T23:53:29+00:00

Are you sure he didn't say this 'cause he's into you?

Title	Being Knowledgeable & Outspoken + Feminine?
Author	throwawayranterz
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	January 29, 2021 11:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/l8787v/being_knowledgeable_outspoken_feminine/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/being-knowledgeable-outspoken-feminine.744239 https://theredarchive.com/post/744239

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