[deleted by user]

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2021-12-27T19:48:43+00:00

It sounds like you’re gay.

LateralThinker13 · 2021-12-27T14:47:11+00:00

I try to fantasize that I am having sex with a women In my culture , religion or my on beliefs being gay is not accepted and I don't want to have relationship with a women

Sexuality doesn't care about your culture, religion, or beliefs. You are born with your sexuality and, aside from trauma, it's relatively fixed. It can be expanded with sufficient exposure and stimuli, but there has to be a base to work with.

So if you are attracted to and aroused by women, and are not by men, that isn't going to change. This sounds like it is the case, yes?

Which means wishing it would is counterproductive. You can therefore actively repress your sexuality for the rest of your life and live a sham of a sexual relationship... or you can challenge your beliefs and your culture/religion so that you can live as the human being that your God created you to be.

JadedByEntropy · 2021-12-27T14:27:06+00:00

If you want a man I'd work to keep the Husband you already have, who has been extremely patient with this issue

ddouchecanoe · 2021-12-27T23:08:06+00:00

Hey don't you think it's unfair to your husband that he thinks you're attracted to him but you're actually not?

Ok-Yellow4966 · 2021-12-27T20:27:27+00:00

My comment may not be the mainstream view ATM but you need to understand that Satan will do all that he can to break the sanctity of your family and these thoughts and feelings are a product of his whispers.

We live in a society right now that promotes the pursuit of one's feelings whether that's feeling of attraction towards the opposite sex or wanting to be girl when you are biologically a boy.

My advice is that you understand that you have these desires, just like some people have desires to watch porn, drink alcohol etc. What you are experiencing is a test from God and you have to use your free will to defy these desires. Of course it is not easy but understand it's a feeling and not something you have to act on.

Remember that thoughts become actions so the more that you 'try' to fantasize about women the more likely you will be to eventually end up physically with a woman.

When you are intimate with your husband try and be present, feel the warmth of his body and remember all the goodness he brings into your life.

Prayer is your weapon

Peace

lunavicuna · 2021-12-27T17:03:11+00:00

do you have any trauma in your past?

katx_x · 2021-12-27T23:10:59+00:00

i have no advice, but im sorry you are going through this. i wish you the best of luck.

adambrukirer · 2021-12-27T23:27:34+00:00

Just know it is perfectly OK to think one way and act another way. You can still have sex with your husband even if you have gay thoughts. Actions are what matter.

MoonShimmer1618 · 2021-12-27T18:11:57+00:00

Therapy?

Goggings · 2021-12-29T00:49:21+00:00

Poor husband, you should be honest, for his and your sake

nmet4 · 2021-12-29T11:40:37+00:00

I would say look for a professional couple coach or similar and try to establish a fluent communication about your needs, not only sexual ones. I think it is unhealthy to suppress feelings because „they’re just a test from satan“. Trust Your gut feelings. If you are insecure about this topic try to begin small and initiate a general conversation about what both of you like or do not like. Wish u the best!

Lovelace_D · 2022-01-01T11:20:25+00:00

I want to give you my perspective here as well because I noticed a lot of comments about how you are probably gay. To be honest.to jump to such a conclusion without having more details and without knowing you as a person is just too rushed. First, regarding the comment that after the first year of marriage you did not want to have sex with your husband , I would ask what changed? Did reality hit you when you started living together and you transitioned more in the role of a mother instead of a lover? How did your relationship with him evolved? In my opinion sexual desire is a far more complex feeling than just seeing someone naked and wanting to have sex with them. It is not related that much to the physical appearance as we think. I think it's far more about how the other person makes you feel and how he treats you ( or mistreats you - for some people especially with daddy issues mistreating is more exciting). Maybe what you need is a different dynamic in your relationship with your husband. What was going on in the first year when you HAD desire for him?

My second point would be about the comment that you fantasize about women and that is what is arousing you. I don't think you may be lesbian solely on this. Why? Well, you will need to examine yourself further if you want to find out if that's the case. Do you get excited by women on a daily basis - like see someone on the street and feel attracted? If it's just the fantasies you have may be they are arousing you because they are just that - fantasies. I can give you my own example to make a point. I used to fantasize every now and then about having a threesome. I found it arousing as a fantasy but the thought of it doing in real life especially with the man I was with was terrifying to say the least. So ask yourself do you think you want to be with a woman in real life or is that just something you get turned on by. Everyone has some fantasies and that's why some of them are so great - because they remain in our heads just like a dear old memory. Also, there's also the case when we fantasize about something so much and we think it would be great but when it happens in real life we are disappointed. And it better just remained a fantasy. Hope this helps you..

purplepansy88 · 2021-12-29T20:53:03+00:00

Have you ever found men attractive?

Have you always been a lesbian? How would your husband feel about you opening up your marriage and seeing women? You could still be married to your husband and have sex with him maybe on a schedule every week or so and you could express your desires as a lesbian. A lot of men wouldn't actually see this as cheating because it's just other women. I don't know your husband so I don't know what his reaction would be.

I have a low sex drive too, although I do find men and my husband attractive and do not like women in that way. I often find myself just agreeing to have sex anyway. My husband doesn't have any serious expectations about my enjoyment or performance or anything and that takes a lot of the pressure off. When it does happen I enjoy the intimacy with him, but I can go weeks or months and not think of sex with my husband or anyone else. I wasn't like this in my 20s, I think I wanted sex once or twice a week, but I became like this in my 30s and when I had children. I have never been that interested in having an orgasm. I don't care about it. When men act obsessed with female orgasms it makes me pull away.

I don't buy into the modern philosophy that every couple should be having this explosive sex life.

YorubaDoctor · 2021-12-28T05:02:06+00:00

My husband is a very nice man and he does everything to please me sexually

That's the problem

bow_1101 · 2021-12-29T03:05:43+00:00

Keep your husband. Bring multiple girls in.

MinuteAble · 2021-12-27T18:42:23+00:00

If you're attracted to women, your husband will be hurt. Society says be attracted to whoever you like but at the end of the day, it's only short-term. You can't have a good family because children need a mom and dad, and the relationship would be purely over sex.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	45
Comments	31
Date	December 27, 2021 2:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/redpillwomen/comments/rpof8r/deleted-by-user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/deleted-by-user.1601353 https://theredarchive.com/post/1601353

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