How can I become interesting?

Ultimate_Failure · 2016-09-18T01:25:05+00:00

Improve your ability to interrogate other people about what makes them interesting.

I never run out of things to talk about, because I can always ask the other person another probing question about themselves. Then if they say something that happens to relate in an interesting way to my life, I can volunteer that. But I never feel pressure to "be interesting".

Ask them where they live. Ask them everything about that place. Ask them what they do for a living. Ask them everything about the job, what makes it interesting, what makes it difficult, etc.

Basically, just amuse yourself by indulging your own curiosity. In doing so, you are amusing the other person.

I guess there are multiple ways to skin a cat. But that's how I do it, and I think anyone can do it that way.

PantheraTigris95 · 2016-09-18T04:40:30+00:00

Seconding /u/Ultimate_Failure.

People love talking about themselves. He mentions having a college/university degree? Ask him what the degree is in, why he chose it, maybe throw in a compliment (that Engineering degree must have been a lot of work!).

Guys are interested in a lot more than cars/sports, and they'll appreciate intelligent conversation. Avoid the issues of possible contention (religion etc.), but don't be afraid to give an opinion as long as it's at least somewhat well-thought-out.

The next part is bringing yourself into the conversation as it gets a bit weird when you've asked someone 17 questions about themselves in a row. He mentions that he likes hiking? Maybe you don't, but you like cycling. Lines like "yes, we should do xyz" sometime are a good way of showing interest without starting off clingy.

Hell, I make friends like that. They mention an interest in activity x? I tell them I'll call them next time i'm doing x.

Also... there's no harm in comfortable silence.

Being funny is an iffy thing because it's painfully obvious when someone isn't funny but is trying to be. I'm of the opinion that you can't learn humour. Wit isn't too hard though. If you see/think of something funny, take a second and think of why it's funny, or ironic before you comment on it. Don't be self-deprecating and be careful of caustic sarcasm.

loneliness-inc · 2016-09-18T14:45:41+00:00

If you are short on endless interesting little things to speak about, buy a few of the bathroom reader books. Those books are filled with all kinds of interesting things that make for awesome conversation.

Try to not fret over your conversational skills too much. While conversation is good and important, silence is way more powerful than words. If you're a quiet person, you better be comfortable with silence. Once the honeymoon stage is over, it will be very difficult to maintain a level of talking that's unnatural to you. Don't push yourself to be someone who you aren't. Embrace the quieter personality.

Which brings me to my next point. What does a man need in a woman, that she be interesting?

NOT AT ALL.

We need you to be a soft landing. You don't need to be interesting for that. You do need to not be uninteresting but you don't need to be interesting. There's a world of a difference between the two.

Same with intelligence. Men don't need to marry genius women as much as women need to marry genius men. You don't actually need to be smart even though being dumb is a turnoff.

You need to have the ability to be reassuring and nurturing to him. To trust him, believe in him and support him in what he does. To take the resources he provides you and nurture it into a beautiful home, a dwelling place in which you grow your family.

Men are supposed to create something from nothing, women are supposed to nurture and develop that something that the man creates. Creating something from nothing is interesting, nurturing and maintaining isn't always so and that's okay.

Bottom line, a man isn't after you because you're interesting. Just don't be uninteresting (boring). A man needs you to be nurturing what you have, you want him to be interesting by bringing new stuff to the table.

JackGetsIt · 2016-09-18T03:33:25+00:00

There are lot of meet-up groups that are especially welcoming to have females in the mix. You might not like any of the guys as actual prospects to date but that's not the goal right?? You will get constant exposure to different types of people and be able to practice your small talk skills and learn about others. You can rotate through these groups until you find the right one.

Try to let people talk, give them questions and then when you find something interesting give your input and then ask them more. A big problem that people have when they try small talk is they think they have to let the person just ramble on (and then they get bored, which is why people hate small talk). No way; ask the person to kind of cycle through their interests and then ask them to expand on the one you're somewhat interested in. This makes for mutual enjoyment and the other person can sense you are genuinely interested as you provide your insights and reflections. This is how you develop rapport.

There's also the FORD technique. Family, occupation, relationships, dreams but there's also the 'avoid' categories RAPE: religion, abortion, politics, economics (as a female though you're often times given a free pass to broach those subjects with men. It's normally men that have to avoid those topics but secretly enjoy debating about them with everyone! Remember to avoid the reflex to get offended).

You might want to seek out a non sexual older male that you can chat with as a bit of a mentor.

This might also sound like strange advice but tone down makeup and dress and men will often treat you different and help you to develop character because they see you as less of a prize and more of a person of interest to chat with. This might be frustrating at first because it's a big realization on the nature of men and women but after you break through it can be quite fun to get to know men on a non-dating dynamic side(I work with a lot of women and enjoy women immensely (especially the ones with character)). Fight your temptation to allow beta orbiters to form around you and do you favors.

After you've done all this you will be a lot more comfortable when you are having a deep conversation with a man. Men appreciate character, charisma, opinion, and directness from the people they are talking too; even women.

MajorLeagueMagick · 2016-09-18T14:58:53+00:00

Also remember that looks and feminine traits largely beats out intelligence for men. I am partly sapiosexual, or partly attracted to intelligence more than a normal guy, and I still would rather date a less intelligent and more feminine woman that's open to learning and listening, as opposed to a highly intelligent woman that will take the extremely masculine route if an argument happens and go on a verbal warpath; which I think almost all men would agree with. If you get in fights with a guy and then try to emotionally shred him apart like a magic bullet infomercial, unless you have mental problems and your SO is some kind of giant fruit, being more intellectually interesting won't help the situation. Feminine traits are inherently interesting and attractive to most men.

GingerJack76 · 2016-09-19T02:40:30+00:00

I have been toying around with learning more - keeping up with current events, delving into my passions so I can talk about them, and learning the basics of what guys are interested in (all I can think of right now is sports, gaming, cars, etc.). I also want to be funny - apart from taking an improv class and going out to meet people, what else can I do to improve my social skills?

Okay, so first of all, it's not your personality that needs work. The issue is that you don't know what you like / have enough confidence. I was a pretty shy guy way back when, but I started focusing on things I liked, learned more about them, and learned how to listen. Now I can talk on end about not only things I like, but what others like. Learning and being interested in your passions is the way to go. Guys are interested in a lot of things, but that doesn't matter because you're not going to be interested in them unless you already are. Focus on what you like, and then find people who are similar. How do you find people that you can talk to? Find people that like the same stuff.

As far as being funny, it's easy. Be bold, don't be afraid to look stupid, absurdity is the base of any humor, and joke about mistakes. Sarcasm is also a must, as much as it can be a "either hate it or love it," sarcasm really helps round out your funny tool box. The goal is to build a tool set that you can switch out tools when you need to when the other tools aren't working. Right now your tool box doesn't have much in it, and so when you try to talk to people, you run out of tools before the conversation can really get going. I always open with something familiar, like comparing the traffic to something ludicrous: "Man, these guys in DC drive like they're car has a bomb in it or something. You'd think the secret service would notice this..." Being silly is a big part of humor, it's funny, because it doesn't make sense, or it's strange, or even awkward.

All of this requires that you be confident. If you doubt yourself, you're going to fumble. Practice with friends and family, try and make your goal being how long you can keep their attention and get them to laugh. Count how many times you get them to chortle, or giggle-fart, and try to challenge yourself to do better next time you see them. The more you practice with all of these the better and more confident you will be.

If you practice this enough, you'll be able to know what tool is right for what person without even thinking about it! Go gettem tiger!

pcadrian · 2016-09-18T19:35:59+00:00

The good news is that you don't have to be all that interesting while on a date. And there is such a thing as being TOO interesting, i.e a know it all. You could talk about how you are working on making a new scarf, etc. The key is to stroke a guy's ego, so really you're laughing at his stupid jokes, living in the moment, etc. Ask him about himself.

rproller · 2016-09-18T04:09:52+00:00

I'd suggest picking up an "unusual" hobby. Saying something like "I rock climb/make jewelry/play the bagpipes/etc. in my spare time" makes for very interesting conversation. Even if you don't end up doing it long-term, it's still an interesting set of experiences you can talk about.

hot-breakfast · 2016-10-04T13:39:10+00:00

One of the core practices of comedy is asking yourself what is WEIRD, HARD, STUPID, or SAD to you. Then think of what it would be like to blow that characteristic out of proportion until it becomes ridiculous. If you practice thinking this way, it will eventually start coming out of your mouth naturally. Comedy is the sudden revelation of incongruity.

Think about things that get under your skin--things you feel strongly about disproportionately to their actual importance. Then think, which of these things are fairly universal to the human experience? Chances are other people may identify with those feelings, but not be aware of the disproportion. You want to reveal the disproportion to them in a charming way.

Also, if you can make someone new genuinely laugh once or twice during a dinner that is a big success. I rarely go nuts with jokes unless I'm with family or really old friends.

nicetimeisback · 2016-10-05T02:52:56+00:00

I (M) have/had your same problem, not having much fantasy about what to say or what to talk about, and overall finding girls boring because me myself am boring too.

But really it's all about who you talk with, if i like a girl and she like me back, words comes out of our mouth automatically/effortlessly, without even think about anything, and everything goes soo smooth that it seems like magic.

Other time, with other girls, things just don't go effortlessly, and that's it, it means there is no compatibility within us.

You choose to not care about what to say or what to talk about, if you guys enjoy eachother, talking will happen effortlessly. If it doesn't happen, just move on to the next guy.

Title	How can I become interesting?
Author	softleather
Upvotes	15
Comments	35
Date	September 18, 2016 12:22 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/539xjm/how_can_i_become_interesting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-can-i-become-interesting.86483 https://theredarchive.com/post/86483

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