I wanted to do a field report. I used to come here periodically under another username, but decided to delete that account after someone attempted to doxx me. Anyway, I have been following the advice here and the advice found in the book Fascinating Womanhood for the past year or so, and wanted to say this stuff is truly a path to a peaceful, thriving relationship.
My marriage to my husband has been rocky at best for most of our relationship due to my past mental health issues and always, most of the time unknowingly, emasculating him. What do I mean by emasculating him? Making him the butt of my jokes with my family and friends, always doubting his decisions when he tells me we are going to do something, etc. Anyway, a year ago it was beyond obvious that we were both miserable so I decided to change lots of things about myself.
I got professional help for my issues and started doing some soul searching on how to be a better wife. That's how I found this sub. Then, I put in the work. I bought some cute, albeit sexy, negligee to wear to bed, started doing some light makeup even though I work from home, and started putting more effort into keeping a clean house. I also had a really bad habit of bombarding my husband with what he calls "word vomit" as soon as he walked into the door. I'd unload on him my frustrations about work related gossip, how much work the house was to maintain, etc. before he even got to take his coat off. But I stopped that and it's been night and day.
My husband, dare I say it, adores me now. My birthday was last weekend and my husband who is a self proclaimed non-romantic spoiled me in ways that I did not think he was capable of. He woke me up with coffee and breakfast in bed and told me the day was mine. Whatever I wanted to do that day, we would do. He ended up drawing me a hot bath, lit some candles, made me a cocktail, and took our rambunctious dogs who never leave my side, with him for an hour so I could have some quiet, alone time. Then he happily made me dinner before we watched one of my favorite movies together before bed.
Everything in our relationship has improved. It feels light and fun and he says the highlight of his day is coming home now everyday. We communicate so much better, and because I stopped doubting his every decision, he opens up to me more now. He gets the final say in everything, but he values my opinion and that makes it easier for me to allow him to lead.
TLDR: If you're doubting the advice here, just know that it is literally life's cheat code to having a great relationship with a great man. I wish I would've followed it sooner myself.