Okay so I’ve been struggling. Husband over booked himself with work things and hasn’t had much if any time for me this past week. And when he has been around he’s been distracted and not very present.

At first it was okay and I was coasting along being my normal self but then I started to get resentful and snippy and finally last night I let him have it. I told him I’m lonely and disappointed and let down and on and on.

Now to be clear the issue isn’t with his working but with my behaviour and reaction. At first after I reacted so poorly he kept saying I know it’s been a tough week. And then when I just kept going he became withdrawn and sullen.

After that conversation I reflected on it and was able to get to a place of compassion and realize that he hurts when I tell him I’m unhappy. I hurt him.

After more reflection I came to the conclusion that when I’m annoyed and frustrated with him over the next little bit I will stop myself and say a simple mantra… he is doing his best.

There is plentiful evidence that when he is not overwhelmed by his responsibilities he is a kind and generous and present and patient and loving and forgiving man. Just ask my daily “husband gratitude journal” and the examples will pour forth.

So when we went to the museum today and he didn’t take the time to figure out what we wanted to pay to see like I asked him to beforehand I told myself he is doing his best. When he didn’t have time to view a link I sent him I told myself he is doing his best. When his clothes were on the floor instead of in the laundry I told myself he is doing his best. When I had to say the same thing over three times before he heard me I told myself he is doing his best.

I’m trying so hard to touch that place of compassion within myself that transforms my anger into understanding and empathy.

I was proud turning my disrespect around and creating a strategy to be more respectful and that’s why I wanted to share it.