Plate

[deleted] · 2016-11-16T12:19:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Willow-girl · 2016-11-16T14:15:44+00:00

Live and learn. If what you're seeking is a commitment, learn to recognize and avoid relationships that are 'going nowhere.'

I believe that when a man finds a woman he's interested in for a LTR, he will want to commit, in order to 'take her off the market' -- he doesn't want to risk losing her. He will err on the side of haste rather than caution. You won't have to hold a gun to his head, LOL. If a man hesitates to commit, I'm sorry to say it but he probably doesn't value you that much. He's not worried about you 'getting away' and may want to keep his options open because he suspects he can do better.

If you're having sex with a man but he won't commit, you're probably wasting your time. Men will try to keep you on a string by saying they 'need time' or some such, but that's B.S. They're reaping the benefits of all the efforts you're making to try to persuade them to commit. Why should a guy cut that off and kick a willing woman out of his bed? It's up to the woman to wise up and move on.

Sounds like you did that. Good for you for recognizing the truth of the matter. Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep looking until you find a man willing and able to commit.

HelloNeo · 2016-11-16T10:29:26+00:00

You're human and it's a learning experience.

bittersweettruth_ · 2016-11-16T09:59:30+00:00

Take steps to lessen the chances of it happening in the future? (aka reading and applying the sidebar material)?

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-11-16T16:57:08+00:00

There's no utility in beating yourself up mentally over past actions that you can't change. If you're not proud of an aspect of your past or personality, put your effort into changing the underlying causes of the problem, instead of recriminations and self-loathing.

In the case of having been a plate, work on your self-esteem, knowledge of M-F dynamics, relationship skills, and personal qualities that will attract and keep the kind of man you want to be with.

videlachkadua · 2016-11-16T15:00:51+00:00

I guess I would have to live with it. I will try not do that mistake again. I was a plate when I was younger because I was foolish enough to be with him. He already had mental problems like dark triad traits. But after him I found a man that loves me. He said I should go to counselling, so I did and it helped. So it can be done.

Is plate like a side chick? Then yes, I was one. I know the definition is similar to beta orbiter but female form.

cloeclou · 2016-11-16T19:49:09+00:00

I'd say that in order to get over this, you need to feel that you obtained something from the experience. If you feel that it was wasted time and that you would have been better off without it, that will make you more bitter/sad about it. However, if you try to reframe it in a more positive way, you might get over it faster.

I have a friend who was deeply regretting being a man's plate and she got over it by telling herself: It happened, I'm not proud of it but it makes no sense to let that fact upset me now. I learned from this experience what I DON'T want - I don't want to be one of a man's women, I want to be a man's only woman. I would probably have never even reflected on this simple fact had I never been a plate. I have now a clearer idea about what I want and it's better to have had this experience sooner than later so I have time to correct it now that I'm still young.

MsSadieDunham · 2016-11-16T19:24:28+00:00

All you can do is learn from your mistakes and not do it again. Time will help the pain fade, but don't let the lesson fade.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2016-11-18T05:02:02+00:00

Find someone who wants you more than a plate

dottywine · 2016-11-18T19:23:48+00:00

I'm sorry, can someone explain to me what this term is? Plate?

Title	Plate
Author	Eli02
Upvotes	4
Comments	16
Date	November 16, 2016 9:30 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5d8cy4/plate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/plate.86635 https://theredarchive.com/post/86635

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